Truth Be Told

Why ask if you're going to say no? What's the point if you're just going to turn me down? I don't understand why we're still doing this. We both know that it's over. Why waste any more time? The cons outweigh the pros? It's not worth it anymore. I need something new. Something really different. I want more out of life.

It's been a crazy ride. We've had some really good times. There have been so many bad times though. And the bad times keep coming. I don't have the energy to keep up with all the bad times. I don't want to continue living this way. It's all a giant lie. Who are we trying to fool? Why do we keep lying to ourselves? Is this really the life we want to live?

I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of lying to everyone else. It's exhausting living this way. They say the truth will set you free. I want to be free. I feel like a caged bird. It doesn't make sense to continue living like this. None of this makes sense anymore. We're constantly fighting and I can't do this anymore. I've lost myself in this mess. I don't know who I am anymore. I miss who I used to be.

You want me to be honest with you. Yet you don't want to hear the truth. So maybe I'm not the one living a lie. I wish things were different between us. I wish it was how it was when we first met. We've both changed so much over the years. We're growing apart. None of it is worth the pain. And who are we kidding, it's been painful. But is it worth it?

I want what's best for me for once. And this is not what's best for me. I'm sick of feeling like the only one putting in any effort. I'm tired of feeling like the only one giving anything. Life is hard enough without all of our drama. I don't want to hurt anyone. It's always the little things that drag us down. And we are going down fast. This relationship is sinking faster than the Titanic.

Why do I feel guilty for feeling the way I do? Why do I feel so responsible for the way other people feel? This is so unfair. I hate that I'm feeling this way. I hate that I feel so weak. I wish that I was stronger. I feel guilty until you open your mouth to speak and then I just get angry again. You speak and I remember why I feel this way.

It is not my job to control how you feel. It is not my responsibility to control how you react to things. It's time I start being more independent. I shouldn't feel guilty because you are unhappy all the time. It isn't my job to make you happy all the time. It should never have been my responsibility in the first place.

I'm seeing why things happen the way they do for you. I understand why things don't work out. I think we need some time apart. It's time to do some soul-searching. It'll be good for both of us. If we want to remain friends we should have some time apart. I don't want things to get worse between us. That's where things are headed if we continue down this path. So again I ask, is it really worth it? Maybe we should quit while we're ahead. Let's end things on a positive note. Let's leave it better than we left it.