Trans-masculinity in the sex industry: a profile of @fckboyred

Red, frequently known as @fckboyred on instagram, is a musician. Red grew up in Portland, Maine with their family. He now resides in Los Angeles, California, where he is pursuing his career.

Red also works as a pro-dom -- someone who is paid to sexually and/or sensually dominate clients either online or in person -- and identifies as trans-masculine.

The sex industry is mostly dominated by cisgender and straight individuals. Unfortunately, this means that many transgender performers become more marginalized within their field of work.

I think it's important to give trans sex workers a voice. So, I gave Red space to talk about what it's his experience as a trans-masculine performer in such a cis-normative industry.

Here is what Red had to say.

Suleiman: What is your name and what are your pronouns?

Red: My name is Red and my pronouns are he/they.

Suleiman: We briefly talked through Instagram D.M.s. You mentioned to me that you grew up in Portland, Maine, but you’re now living in California. What was the shift from one side of the country to the next like for you?

Red: I moved to Southern California when I was 13 with my family. I moved to LA after going to college in Orange County.

Suleiman: What made you want to move out to Los Angeles, specifically?

Red: I moved to LA to essentially cut down my commute to everything I was doing. I had been driving from Anaheim to LA multiple nights of the week to be closer to my community, go to events/shows, and get clients. At the time, I was working in Orange County fulltime in healthcare, but it still wasn’t enough due to some financial circumstances out of my control. So, after having to commute to LA for everything I loved, I finally moved a little closer, quit my day job, and started living my life in a way that made space for more of what I loved.

Suleiman: You mentioned in passing that you have worked in the adult entertainment industry. Is it similar to working in the music industry?

Red: Every industry that relies on performers, or talent, I’ve found is eerily similar. The way that talent is treated in the music industry, is very similar to what I’ve experienced in the adult industry. There is no sex work without sex, without the person performing whatever act or service that is included in that description. This includes full service workers, strippers, dommes, sensual massage experts, tantra, etc. This would not exist without the people performing these services. The way that artists are often exploited, with management making the most, can be no different than an exploitative pimp taking most of your cut at the end of the day. Charging a musician to be part of a label, or to put on a show, in some instances, rings the same to me as sex workers being charged to be part of an agency to get started. When venues take such an enormous cut of everything from ticket sales to merchandise, this reminds me of sex workers losing half their income to, oftentimes, cis men who would never be able to do what we do. And could do nothing without us.

Suleiman: During your time in both the adult entertainment industry and the broader, more general entertainment industry, did you ever feel like you were fetishized or criticized for your identity?

Red: I have absolutely been fetishized and criticized for my identity in my work. Currently, when I domme, I do so in my “girl mode,” as femme personas are much more popular in sex work. As a pre-op trans boy, I am still able to do this, but my androgyny creeps closer across the line, even with makeup in my “cissona” every day.

Before I came to terms with my trans identity, I was always the “bisexual girl” on platforms for sex work. When you decide to be a sex worker, you accept, to an extent, that the person you perform during that time will be fetishized no matter what. This is, in essence, how I make money. I make money from men who have too much internalized homophobia to ask their partner to peg them essentially.

And I deal with a lot of submissive men who are clearly hiding some feelings from themselves; often these feelings are suppressed feelings about gender and/or sexuality. My job, in that space, is to protect myself as much as I can by disconnecting my identity from whatever is happening in this space and being open to the person who has chosen to share it with me. I need to be whatever they want me to be, and in order to do that, I really need to disconnect from how those things define me as a person–because in reality, they do not affect me at all. But the fetishization of queer, of androgynous bodies, and my body in particular, can be very triggering if I do not keep my true self distanced from that act.

Suleiman: What are some things you do to stay authentically connected to yourself?

Red: I remind myself that this is a performance; that the person I am in a domme or massage session is not the person I truly am. It is no different than a customer service voice. Except it is, of course. I am protecting something sacred inside of me; my identity, who I am as a whole. Like a therapist, I have to disconnect from the emotional and physical turmoil that takes place in a session.

When my sub, or client, comes through the door, after taking a shower to rinse off before our session, I will start by holding them, fully naked, as I stand there in my underwear. As I cradle them in my arms, lightly brushing their skin and holding their head on my shoulder, I invite them to be submissive, to come into that space. I whisper: Now, I want us to take a moment to relax and come into the space. This is a vulnerable space; there is no shame or judgment here. Let everything beyond that door, all anxieties and fear and shame, remain outside. Let’s just melt into this space, into this moment, and just be present with each other. Nothing outside of the room matters right now. Just you and me, here together. I invite them to do this with me, and I do the same. The person I am here is, in simple words, whatever they want me to be. My actual self, my identity, my life, waits for me outside that door. And when I come back to myself, I am unaffected (except I always am in some ways) and I remind myself that what happened in that room does not dictate who I am inherently or who I choose to be outside that room.

Suleiman: Any parting words?

Red: Thank you for your flexibility and inviting me to talk about this subject.

My parting words would be for two groups. For cisgender sex workers: be mindful. When you talk about sex work issues, about reproductive issues, remember that this affects more than just women. Open up your language to the non-women who perform sex work and have been here the entire time.

Also be mindful that not all women have vaginas. And for queer and trans non-sex workers, please be mindful of how you talk about reproductive rights. Saying things like “This is why I’m gay” when abortion is banned is not helpful. You are forgetting all the trans and queer people who do not have heteronormative sex because they want to, but because it is their income. This does not even include all the trans and queer people who need abortions and reproductive care for other reasons, including sexual assault.