Too Little too Late

"Sadly sometimes it's too late, and thats the thing about time we cannot get it back."

Life has ways of teaching us all kinds of lessons, some easier to accept than others. Some you won't learn until long after events have happened. Then once you finally realize, it's too little too late.

Let me take you back to the year 2007 , when I met a guy that I would ultimately hurt because I was too busy chasing the bad boys. I was 20 years old at this time and I met him through mutual friends. We talked and flirted for a while, but we hadn't met in person because he lived over an hour away. One day he decided to drive to my town just to meet me. I was working that night, so he showed up there and waited for me to take a break. He was shy, sweet, and complimented me as often as he could. But young me was so blind to what a good guy was. I was chasing the guy that would lie, cheat, and manipulate me. Gotta love being young!

I began reading over an old journal recently and found an entry that I made. It stated that I finally me him, but he hated me now because he said I led him on. Which looking back now I totally did, and I felt horrible. I have apologized to him for this, but it doesn't take away the guilt.

" Do not hide your feelings, act on them. For you never know when that chance will no longer be there."

Fast forward to about 2013-2014 he got in contact with me via Facebook, still the same sweet guy I had always known. At this point I had sworn off anyone because of the mess my love life had become. We remained friends talking every now and then, always making plans to see each other but of course life gets busy and those plans never happened.

In 2018 a tragedy hit his hometown and he co wrote a song about what happened. This song started to blow up, and propelled him back into my life. I still hadn't realized how I felt, I just knew that I was happy to have him back in my life.

I finally saw him again for the first time in 12 years when he performed at a small venue in my hometown in 2019. We began talking a bit during this time, just as friends. He always seemed to be there when I needed him, without knowing it. Somewhere between then and early 2021 I realized I had developed feelings for him. I've only told my dad, sister and best friend about how I felt. I've never told him.

"One day can change everything."

My sister has asked me a few times if I ever told him about how I felt, and I said no. She would always try to encourage me to say something, but I was too scared. Scared because I had hurt him in the past, so what would he say now. I was worried because I hadn't had feelings for someone in a long time, what if I led him on again. The list goes on.

At one point I almost got the courage to say something, but that was when I found out that he is dating someone. I am very happy for him, as he deserves all the happiness in the world. She also seems like a really great person, and deserves him. What it made me realize is that regardless of being scared or how he would have reacted I should have said something, because now it's too late.

He's still such a great friend to me, and I will always be grateful for that. If you can learn anything from this post, take the chance. You will never know how something may turn out.