The Secret Chronicles of Your Dreamy Eyes

Those piercing glares as if you're searching for the stories of my soul. The stare of a thousand beaming eyes. I wonder sometimes what is it that you are thinking about, what is it that you are looking for... or is it that you are so intrigued with me? I have never had anyone look at me the way that you look at me... with such grace and interest. At times I smile, you don't have to say a word, but I know that you are communicating your love for me through your eyes. You are an extraordinary man, I appreciate that you made me feel like I am your muse, but I wish that you can tell me how I make you feel.

You peek into the little windows of my eyes, like you can see someone living inside. You see there is someone there living a happy life, but on the outside, you see the suffering. Are my eyes the storybook to my true pain, are they telling you how I really feel? There is so much I wish I could tell you but I'm afraid of scaring you away; keep reading. "I'm here... please help me!" yelps my breaking heart... "can you hear me?!" My soul yearns for you to reach in to hold it and tell it that everything will be okay. Do you go home after being with me and wonder why I always look lost? Do you ask yourself why you stay? I ask myself these things but say nothing in fear of pushing you away.

I know if you could, you would break into that lonely space that is my heart, turn into a warm and safe have for just you and I, but you can't. If there was a way of going into my being, you would go deep into my mind and scream at the top of your lungs "YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY... I LOVE YOU!"... but you can't. I am so hidden and closed off to you that I forgot you are by my side... I'm sorry. There are many things you don't know about me that only time will tell; but will you stay around long enough to figure out what those things are? I worry that I will be left in this world by myself in fear of letting anyone in. But you, man with the piercing stare, the only male presence I feel safe around, the only reason why I want to be alive.

Secretive and discreet tales never told and invisible to everyone, thoughts so dark it would make anyone quiver with passion, but you are the darkest secret that I have. You are a secret even to yourself… the things you make me feel are far more intimate than I can express. I have done things to myself thinking about you… looking into each other’s eyes in the midst of the night feels dangerous yet safe… insane yet sane… but what is safe? What is sanity? Is love safe or sane? Is this even love? Just because you know how to look at me doesn’t mean you care for me. Do you remember how you hurt me by looking at her the way you look at me? Do you remember the tears that rolled down my face? Yes… I do fantasize about you and the things you have done to me, but I have to take a step back and reminisce in the damage you have caused, then I remember why you will never be able to see into the windows of my soul. You killed the girl you used to know, you stole the innocence that used to be her, and turned her into a shell of a person. This is the end of our story, this will be the last time you are able to gaze into my eyes… goodbye sweet memories… goodbye sweet moments.