The Next Morning

I am a Christian too

I believe in a God that loves me

I believe in forgiveness

And I had never carried so much shame until

I aborted my child

At the age of 16

A baby myself

Do you think that women and girls

Just stand in line at the abortion clinic like it’s some

Kind of party

For sinners

For women who just couldn’t

Control

Their earthly desires?

While you sit back

And judge us

Take a minute

To find some grace

To find some humility

Try to understand

That we didn’t all grow up

In homes that were safe

Sometimes getting pregnant

Unexpectedly

Is the wake-up call

We need to change our

Lives for the better,

But

Does it mean now

That we have a one

Strike and your out card

There are no second chances

You made your bed

And now you must lie in it

And give birth as a drug and alcohol

Addicted teen

With a father recently released from prison

And an abusive mom's boyfriend

A mom who makes minimum wage

And there's not enough to eat

None the less

Care for a child

There is a 2 bedroom

Low-income apartment

Filled with a smoky haze

There are parties on the

Weekends

Filled with drunken

Arguments

And rage

There are police visits

When the violence

Gets too loud

There's a teenager in her

Room scared to death

To walk out of her room

To see if her

Mom is bleeding

Once again

To see her glasses broken

And lying on the floor

Again

To find her crying

And taking him in

Like nothing has happened

Again.

To pretend to raise a child

In an environment like that

In my senior year of high school

Would not have worked

I was in survival mode

And got the hell out of there

Myself and

Never went

Back

Please don’t

Believe

That people have abortions

Because they want to

It is not a choice

We take lightly

It is not a celebration

It is devastating

And sad

It hurts

It’s scary

It’s shameful

We can’t tell our friends or family

Our co-workers

We can’t tell

Anyone really

I had to borrow money from

My grandma

To get an abortion

300 dollars to be exact

How would I have been able to

Manage?

My meth-addicted boyfriend

Later shot himself

And here I sit

Able to type these words

With 2 healthy kids

And I am proud of my mothering

I am proud of those places

I have overcome

Because I

Had a second chance

Do I not think about

It is every year on August 24th

The day I took

That 7 week old

Babies life

The day I wept

And ate saltines

For weeks to keep the

Nausea at bay

And tried to work

And pretend I

Was okay

How I had to steal the pregnancy

Test

Because 7 dollars was too much

And because I

Was too embarrassed

To ask for one

And too scared to

Confide

In an adult

Because there were no

Adults

That would

Be able to

Empathize

With a girl

Who drank too much

And let her guard down

How shameful

Really,

To not be perfect

Right?

How shameful,

What a disgrace.

Is that how they want

Me to feel?

Is that how they want us all to

Feel?

Well, guess what?

We don’t cower easily

We light up when things

Are taken

From us

Like women's rights

And privacy

We don’t like

Men in our

Business

We need the freedom to make decisions

That are informed

And not based on rules

Trust me that no woman

Celebrates the

Death of an unborn

Child

We need so many

More resources for the children

On this earth

With mental health

Issues, Foster care,

Families in poverty, homelessness,

Addiction

Can we please fix

This first?

Women are going

To flee

To other states

And overrun their

Resources

This isn’t a party

And planned parenthood

Isn’t the devil

I love children

I love them

I see them, I care for them

I am passionate

About them

I work with them

I mother them

They need us

And I see what happens

When parents can’t

Provide the love

The nurturing

And support they need

We must help these women

First

Not by making them

Pay for their past

And pay for their mistakes

Can we give more resources

Around birth control,

And teach these

Moms to be that

They are worth

More

And that they deserve the world

You know, I bet

They have never heard such

Kind words

About themselves

Instead of holding

Photos of dead

Fetus’s to shame them

Could we hold their hands

As they are making

One of the hardest

Life or death

Decisions

They may

Ever have to make