The Invitation

Tonight I am having a dinner party. The invitations have been sent and all were answered. I am so pleased everyone came. This night means so much to me. Perhaps it may not mean as much to you my friend as it does to me. Not initially anyways. Tonight is extremely special to me. But if it doesn't strike you as much as it does to me, don't let this deter you. Just because tonight may not have as much significance for you as it does for me, does not make this experience any less unique for you. You may not know this but you will play a vital role in tonight's festivities. I mean to be a gracious host and I do feel honored that you have decided to attend. It may not seem such a big deal to you now, but you will understand why I feel honored for your presence before the night ends.

Most of you know me to some degree. I haven't seen some of you in years but we do know each other. You have all played a major role in my life. Whether it's friends from my childhood or high school, coworkers and supervisors, we had a connection. We still have a connection. We all share the same memories which bind us up to the days where we eventually die. I know that sounds morbid but we can all agree that these shared moments helped define us. However, I cannot fathom how some of you may not appreciate, let alone remember, our shared life experiences. How can one forget the delightful times we shared together? If this is the case then I feel very sad and disappointed. Apparently I did not make much of an impact on your life as you have for me.

If some of you do not remember our shared past histories or even myself, you may recognize my name from TV and such. I am considered one of the best executive chefs in the world. All of my restaurants have a three star Michelin rating, which is considered the best rating in terms of a fine dining establishment. I have these restaurants in all of the major American cities as well as foreign ones as well. France, Italy, England, and Greece just to name a few. Bottom line is that you are here at my invitation to enjoy one of the finest and exquisite meals you shall ever have.

Whether you remember our connected past experiences or not does not change the significance of this evening. I mentioned earlier that this evening is extremely special only to me. I misspoke. This is a special night for us all. Tonight we gather and reminisce about old times. You guys have all mattered to me and I want this night to be filled with shared nostalgia and appreciation for the times we have shared together. I can't even state how excited I am to see you all. This night is going to be special and one never to be forgotten. Not by you and not by me. This will be a night of celebration. I have prepared the greatest meal you shall ever have.

I know my place may have been difficult to find but GPS should have changed that. I have several residences, some of which are mansions and condos overlooking downtown (like downtown in many major cities in the world), to the place where we are all gathered tonight. I've always loved nature and considered this place my true home. My property here has a couple hundreds of acres or so and this is not your typical log cabin. This is essentially a small mansion in the middle of the wilderness. It has eight bedrooms, two bathrooms, a large kitchen area as well as an extravagant dining room. The dining room consists of a large, long, and ornate table which can seat ten people.

I have many other places whose dining areas can accompany as many people as this place can. Yet I wanted to have this dinner at this "log" cabin. I didn't want this evening spent in some downtown condo where there is no nature to behold. Giant buildings and thousands of people going about their bland business? No, I want this evening to be special, and a dinner at one of my other properties in the city (any city) do not fit the criteria I am seeking. Thus this mansion and party will be an evening one will never forget.

I requested my attendees to arrive at six pm. They all showed up on time. We talk and reminisce about the old days seated at the dinner table. There was a cheese spread as well as a few bottles of my most expensive cabernet sauvignon. We swap stories of how we met and the fun times we shared. Two of the guests however, didn't seem as jovial as the others. They appear pensive of the whole situation, as if they didn't want to be here. To me that was hurtful. I have prepared a wonderful evening for all. This is a beautiful home set in the middle of wonderful nature. I have shared the most tasteful, expensive wine these guests will ever drink in their lifetime. And did I mention I am one of the most respected chefs in the entire world? But I am insulted. Two of my guests, who should be gracious that they've even been invited here, are not enjoying themselves. Well, they do seem to enjoy this expensive wine. Unlike the others they are drinking heavily. I'm fine with that. I want everyone here to have a good time.

It felt good seeing these friends from my past. I haven't seen some of them in like twenty years. I wanted to supply the best to welcome them all. That wine was of perfect vintage and worth the extravagant price. Literally over a thousand dollars for each bottle. I want the best for my old friends and in order to make it possible I had to drug all of their drinks. It kicked in at about the same time for each person. The drug was extremely strong. I don't partake in such things but I hired one of the best chemists in the world to create this. This drug has been crafted purely for the satisfaction of my guests. After all I only want the best experience for each of my old friends.

That chemist really created something special. Not only did my guests fall under its influence almost immediately but it also gave me enough time to prepare dinner. The drug gave me three hours to prepare the main course. I don't believe in appetizers if the main entree is going to be so exquisite and...perfect. Three hours were all I needed to prepare the main entree.

Three hours have passed. As if on cue every guest woke up at the same time. Obviously they are confused. They're all thinking the same thing: "I remember getting here but why can't I get up from this chair?" It took roughly a minute before they realized they are tied down to their chairs. I of course am seated at the end of the table. You know the seat, right dead center at the end. The seat where the host always sits. I raise my glass and give a toast thanking my old friends for coming here on this special night. I am the only person who raises his glass for this toast. I wish this wasn't the case but like I said, my guests are tied to their chairs and unable to raise their hands, let alone their wine glasses. This doesn't bother me at all. I mean, I was the one to strap my friends to their chairs after all.

Of course they all start yelling something along the lines of "what the hell is happening? Why am I tied down?" I wait and listen to their pleas knowing that they will not get their wish. After all we still haven't had dinner. Nobody had noticed and screamed anything about their new condition. I asked everyone to remain calm and that everything's okay. I tell them this is all just part of the game. Then they noticed their legs. Or should I say lack of legs. They've all been severed at the knee and bandaged so they don't bleed out. More screaming ensues. I fire a gun at the ceiling to get their attention. It does.

"Dear friends, I know you are all alarmed about what's happening right now. Given the situation, I'd feel the same if I was in your shoes. However, there is a bright side to this. I know you guys have been sitting here for awhile and I imagine you are all hungry. Well, I have prepared quite the dish for you, my dear guests." There is a silver platter with a bell top covering in front of all of them. I open one so they can see the meal I've prepared for them. The room goes silent, but only for a minute. Then they all start screaming again and I have to fire another gunshot to quiet them down. Instead of the ceiling, I shoot one of the guests in the head. The room goes silent again.

"You have all been invited here for a reason. Now I know you all know who I am. I am a celebrated chef who's been featured on many TV shows which I Imagine you have seen. And that I am. But I hope everyone here now remembers me from our shared pasts. You have all made such an impact on my life and I want to do so for you as well. When I say impact, I don't necessarily mean a good one. Quite the opposite. But I do not hold this against you guys. This will still be a night to remember. Now I'm going to cut the restraints off of one your arms so you can use a fork. I've already sliced the meat to make it easier for you guys to eat."

I walk around the table and pull the silver bell tops off all their platters. There is silence for a few seconds and then more screaming. I fire my gun a few more times into the air to shut them up. Those who wouldn't stop screaming I pistol whipped, but not hard enough to knock them unconscious. "This dinner is served and I expect you all to enjoy every little bite. I have seconds coming up as well." Every single one of their dishes had their legs sauteed with butter, onions, and scallops sliced into smaller pieces. "I expect you all to savor every bite. Enjoy. Thank you for coming tonight. Bon appetit."