Family
Trapped
Have you ever felt as though you are kept separate from everything around you? As though you can see it and feel it, yet you aren't able to connect with it? I have those days. Particularly when I am worn and my children are needing yet more. I feel as though I am trapped behind a glass wall that I can see but cannot break, and the more worn I am the thicker and more difficult it becomes to fight it or break through.
Eda MariePublished 23 days ago in ConfessionsA Song of Gratitude for You, Mom
Dear Mom, As I sit here, pen in hand, the world seems to quiet around me. All the hustle and bustle fades away, leaving only the echo of thoughts that have been building for far too long. It's a symphony of memories, of moments big and small, each one a testament to the incredible woman you are.
Ahmed LatrechePublished 23 days ago in ConfessionsLie To Me Issue #4
I was alone, my mom’s house was empty. My social media and my phone had been blowing up with people asking me if what I had done was true, some of them were telling me about how terrible I am, that I am less than a person. My employers asked if I was coming into work that day. I was simply drained. I guess I must have been more tired than I thought because my mother told me I had been asleep for almost two days, didn’t eat, barely went to the bathroom. To me, it all felt like one long day. I knew that I didn’t get all my bags out of my car before it was towed, I figured I would do it in the morning, my backpack was in the car that held my wallet, the last of my cash, my laptop, and some more personal items. I was back at step zero.
Thudd WalkerPublished 24 days ago in ConfessionsBe Strong or Die
You have to know who you are in this world, or you will perish. This is even more true for woman since the world is constantly telling them what they can and cannot be. Throughout my life I've seen and met some amazing woman that have told me things they've had to do to survive that not only baffle me but make me question the world and its methods entirely. The first one I can think of is my mother. Of course, everyone's Mother is their hero and for good reason. They are the first ones to hold us tightly and show us unconditional love for who we are and who we become. My mother was no different. When I was growing up, she always made me feel less than. The first memory I have of her is not one that is loving, but one where she is screaming at someone, some person or something. I was never told I love you; she never hugged me after doing anything perfect and I could never exceed her expectations. She wanted the world for me and in her eyes the only way I would get that far was brutal punishment. Every day I was called lazy at least once a day from childhood until I left the house. She was unrelenting in this aspect and made sure that I was not worthy to breathe her air or be in the same space as her. There were days when I would ask questions about myself hoping she would verbally come to my rescue and of course she never did. My soul was crushed when I went into the house and when I left the house it felt like my great daily escape. "You are not who you think you are, and you will never amount to anything". "I know you can get A’s, but you bring home B's on purpose and you prove to me how stupid you really are". I was in trouble every year in school for physical violence, verbal abuse and stealing every year until high school, and the only reason it stopped then was because I lost all energy and love for myself to fight back in that way. Each and every time violence was met with more violence. No one asked me what was going on at home. It wasn't their job to understand why I wanted to hurt myself and others. It was their job to punish me for the way that I thought and my actions that followed. "You're dumb just like your father". "Why can't you be normal like Kris and Leonardo?" I blamed her for my childhood being dark and the looming clouds I have over me to this day. Still through all of that she taught me to be kind to other people. She knew that as "dumb" as I was other people were even worse off mentally than I was, and she made sure to tell me that I was supposed to take care of them. Even in that I was a failure to her, but as long as I didn't lose my smile around others the facade could be kept up that I was going through the same things as everyone else. I kept that smile into my adulthood, and it serves me well as a mask.
Tetrenius CobaltPublished 25 days ago in ConfessionsThat New York Apartment.
I never thought that I would be here I am today. I had so many reasons to run. Of course leaving hurt. It hurt like nothing else in the world and I was supper scared. I was so tired of being the girl that I was. I felt stuck in the place that most others think is so freeing. I’m sorry that I left but it was for the best even though something always felt odd. I watched the city change. I don’t know New York anymore. Someone had to have left first. I knew deep down that it would be me. I don’t think the people I loved knew that I was going to leave the way I did but I knew when I was young that I wouldn’t stay in the city. I did the minimum anyone asked me, always shouting but not to loud. Just trying to blend in with the rage of NYC.
NatPublished 26 days ago in ConfessionsRudy Lee & Me
Pretty much everyone who knows me would tell you in a heartbeat that I’m a little crazy and maybe even a tad bit unique, but what only a finger full of anyone of em could tell you is that I get a lot of my personality from my older sister Rudy Lee. Of course our parents and even our friends play a big role in our personal development, but believe it or not, our siblings do as well. So during this second day of Women’s History Month, which is also my big sister Rudy’s birthday, I wanna tell you about all the ways Rudy has inspired my life and all my ways.
Joe PattersonPublished 27 days ago in Confessions- Top Story - March 2024
What Is LOve?
“Don’t! I don’t want you! I don’t like you!” scolded my 3-year-old daughter as I kissed her chubby cheeks. She put her hand on my chest and pushed me away.
Gigi GibsonPublished 27 days ago in Confessions Crumbling Pedestals
It took me nearly 20 years to realize I never really loved you. That sounds harsh, but it’s not. It’s just true. We knew each other when we were 13. We knew Winget’s art class. We knew endless jokes and laughter, music sharing, poem swapping, commiserating over our adolescent life experiences, and the fact that no one else understood us. When you moved out of state in the middle of the school year, my teenage soul was crushed. In you I had found a twin flame. Our home lives and pasts were entirely different, but we found familiarity anyway - and safety - in each other. I wrote to you. I knew you struggled with the move. I felt sad for you, and for me. I was quite a romantic child and admittedly haven’t changed much…I romanticized the notion of soul mates. I dreamed of us reuniting one day. I wrote about you in my journal a lot. I had crushes on other boys, but I felt innately connected to you in a way I’ve never been able to explain.
Shay HaasPublished 27 days ago in Confessions- Top Story - March 2024
Two Parents
My father was two people stitched tightly together into the same body. Allen was every hallmark of a great father. A parent that took time to notice the small things his children adored. He invested energy into every hobby I picked up. Promptly, he bought me the books and tools to make it flourish. We would problem solve together how to construct my next idea. I would bring him elaborate plans that I had drawn out and done the math on. He would double check it then off to the porch we would go to build it. I was an artist, a crafter, a writer, sculpture, builder, and reader. I was anything and everything my creative mind yearned to be.
Laura LannPublished 27 days ago in Confessions My Biggest Hero: My Mother
If someone were to ask me who has been the biggest inspiration in my life since the day I was born they would without hesitation get the name Ruby Lee Spencer as the response. Ruby is my mother and for Women’s History Month I wanted to write a tribute to her for how she inspired my entire life.
Joe PattersonPublished 28 days ago in ConfessionsThis Is What We Talk About When We Talk About Children
I hesitate to say this – because it sounds disloyal to my wife, even to my dear, departed mother – but I honestly feel that I didn’t know what love was until I became a father. The intensity of emotion aroused by that squalling creature who – let’s face it – could not have picked me out of a line-up, pierced me more deeply than anything I’d ever experienced before. Above all, I was shattered by this realization: “I would die for this person.”
Andy WaddellPublished 29 days ago in ConfessionsHow I Overcame My Depression with Cooking and Prayer
I was trapped in a vicious cycle of depression, a silent enemy that robbed me of joy and hope. Every day was a struggle, and every night was a nightmare. I felt worthless, hopeless, and helpless. I tried to hide my pain behind a mask of smiles, but inside, I was falling apart.
BizBasPublished 29 days ago in Confessions