SiT TiTe

SIT TIGHT

— Boys Will Be Boys —

Before I offend anyone for fear of me being Canceled, this was only written for fun: Actually, as a Storyteller, I Do embellish a bit — Although this one is totally true. Many of you may even relate?

— IVY Curtains ~ Sunday Matinees ~ BYOB —

Down Boy, DOWN! Go forth and Titillate the IVY Peepers.

Twin, Lucky Lar, and I purchased a large property together {between both divorces}. Just a simple ranch house, he took the master bedroom, I got the 2 car garage for my 2 pristine Jaguars; a fair exchange.

But the backyard was a park planners designed dream — A 'never-need' to leave playground — Featuring state of the art outdoor kitchen/barbeque - olympic pool/Jacuzzi - basketball/tennis court and lamppost Halogen lamps for night games. You get the picture; who could ask for anything more? Word-on-our-street was that the former owner's wealthy father was attempting to help keep his daughters' husband from 'straying' by gifting them with this intense-conglomeration. After all of that effort, we heard from the 'hood Gossips, that 'The Husband' wasn't into outside activities - or indoor activities for that matter; often described as a 'couch potato,' but nice try!

The property just behind us, separating our court with an ivy-covered-fence, was the neighbors pool area and a {1} horse training ring covered with sand. One day, while peeking through the thick ivy, I spotted at least a dozen women (all in their 20's) and extremely attractive. I was told they were models/actresses—Nothing shy about them—They never had a 'stitch' of clothes on; not even bikinis. (Seriously!) Along with their playful-antics they would 'in the nude' ~ Double Twozie ~ ride the white-horse around the circular ring – gotta rub?

With my 1st glimpse of this charade through the Ivy, I flew inside to tell Lucky about it–Whew! Then jumped into my (12) cylinder Jaguar - nothing slow about it - and white smoked it up to a friend's house to borrow his huge-field-binoculars; yes, he rode back with me after hearing WHY I wanted them! But, funny, he asked if this 'Thing' can go any faster!

Sundays turned out to be Voyeurism-Day. Friends that we hadn't seen, forever, came out of the woodwork 'visiting us' to see the 'Girl Pony' Show. They told their wives-girlfriends that they were just going over to the 'K's to hang out. The Gardner, who meticulously took care of the grounds for years before us, changed his routine Tuesdays to Sundays! Some wanted to pay an 'Up-Front Fee' bringing with them their outdoor lounging chairs and beach towels. Nah, just our contribution to 'manhood!'

They would bring along every conceivable type of crystal-clear Windex-shinned viewing devices and Instamatic cameras; no butt-pocket digital i-phone video then. The most popular being an authentic 'Submarine Grade' Periscope; as if we never saw a naked-lady before! One 'Lady-Godiva' in particular I just couldn't get over. So, my 'Buds' said to just go ask her out: Bets on this, with odds in their favor, were placed — we would bet on anything — a guy thing! I waited (stalked if you will) until she was leaving. She actually looked better in clothes; kidding!!

Just as she opened the door of her block-long gleaming fire engine red Cadillac convertible, with Vanity Tags that read 'LIPSTICK,' I approached her with the prospect of asking her out! She said, with a smile, that "she wasn't interested in 'Boys' and said that they know we giggle at them through the fence, BUT that's all we get!" (Really!) And, I lost the bet, too!

* Reincarnate Streaming—via 'Beavis & Butthead.' Just corner arcade tassel twirling peep-shows in those days. Just poking fun — No misogyny here.

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, Cal

'Senior' Vocal Author

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