One Million Ways

Lyrics (copied from azlyrics)

Hurt people, hurt people

They say you must be in a lot of pain

To be hurting everyone around you this way

Nobody, nobody ever showed you the way

You had to make your own mistakes

I'm left picking up the mess

That you made

I wish I could take you inside

And you could see the damage

First hand

First hand

I've got one million ways to make you pay

To make you feel like you're to blame

And you are

You know you are

Just hurt

Hurt people, hurt people

I know I can't blame everything on you

You did what you learned to do

From someone who's just as hurt as you

I know you did the best you knew to do

And I know I wanna do better

Be better than you

But I wish I could take you inside

And you could see the damage

First hand

I've got one million ways to make you pay

To make you feel like you're to blame

And you are

You know you are

And all I wanna do is run from you

I tell myself you're hurting too

And you are

We both know you know you are

This isn't what you wanted

But you've gotta live with what you've done

I know you learned your lesson, right

And I won't make you learn it twice

The ones we love the most

We hurt the most

I've got one million ways to make you pay

To make you feel like you're to blame

And you are

Yeah you know you are

But I won't hold you to the flame tonight

I know two wrongs won't make it right

When we are

We both know you know we are

Just hurt

Just hurt

Just hurt

Just hurt

Just hurt

Now to my feelings towards the song:

The first time I heard this song, I cried. I have been emotionally hurt by "friends" and family.

People I thought I was friends with in high school and a few years after blocked me on everything. They didn't want to talk to me ever. I was hurt because I trusted them with everything. At first, it was constant depression. I later on realized that it was naive of me, to think we would be lifelong friends. I loved them as if they were family and while I feel like I am over the pain, I know I'm not. There's one former friend that I still miss daily. I wish we never grew apart. We helped each other through some of the darkest times in both of our lives.

As for pain from family, that's a bit more complicated. Some stuff is being left out due to how personal it is. I used to be very close to two aunts on my mom's side. She has seven brothers and four sisters but they were the only two of her siblings that I enjoyed being around. I thought I could talk to them about anything but that proved to not be true when I was ghosted by them until they needed something. The needing stuff was more of just one aunt than both. Anytime she wanted a free babysitter, she would ask my mom (who she also ghosted) or me. For years it has been a problem because of my dad not getting along with them due to the drama that happened years ago between them. None of it was my fault but I got hurt because of them

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Thank you for reading. For more writing, mainly poetry, feel free to subscribe. It would mean a lot to me.