No, I Don't Want Kids. Here's Why.

I never really thought of myself as a childfree person until fairly recently, like, these last two years or so. Upon reflection, the pandemic and other world disasters that keep coming may be playing a bigger role in forcing me to make a decision than I may have originally thought. However, that is only one factor that has made me come to the conclusion that I don’t want kids, like, ever. This is why.

Climate Change

I personally believe that science and God can coexist at the same time, and therefore, I believe in climate change. The thought of bringing a child into this world where the future is so unpredictable feels more selfish than almost anything. Life is already so hard without the added stress of what my child might have to deal with after I die. My state already catches on fire every summer. I don’t even want to imagine what it will be like in 50 years when I’m gone and my hypothetical child is an adult, possibly with a family of their own.

But some people don’t believe in climate change. I mean, go off I guess, but the science is there. You don’t even need to believe the science to see how the world is changing each year. But I digress. I have other reasons to not want kids that have nothing to do with big picture stuff like climate change and everything to do with personal stuff.

Family History, Genetics, and Other Stuff

In one of my favorite shows, Bojack Horseman, the main character’s mother says to him, “I know you wanna be happy, but you won’t be, and… I’m sorry. It’s not just you, you know. Your father and I, we- Well… you come by it honestly, the ugliness inside you. You were born broken, that’s your birthright. And now, you can fill your life with projects, your books, and your movies and your little girlfriends, but it won’t make you whole.”

That quote resonates with me because of my family’s long history of toxic behavior and mental illness. I’ve broken the cycle in more ways than one. However- and maybe this is more of a self-esteem thing than a reality- I don’t think that our family’s traits should be passed on to another generation. I don’t want to make a kid deal with mental illness, or anxiety, or even have to deal with me as their mother. I know my mom tried her best. She still had a lot of weaknesses that caused me life-long trauma. If that was her trying her best, I could certainly scar a child of my own without meaning to, only for them to pass it on, and on.

Speaking of passing things on, there are simply just health issues beyond mental illness in my family I’d prefer to not pass on. We have addictive personalities, our stomachs are sensitive, we gain weight easily, we get migraines, we suffer from chronic insomnia, and both sides of my family have a strong predisposition for all kinds of cancers. To create a whole human and make them deal with that, on purpose? Couldn’t be me.

Honestly, I Like My Free Time

Sometimes childfree people are called selfish by certain parents for some reason. I can’t really see why, partially due to the reasons I’ve already listed, but also, like, the kid doesn’t exist yet. Maybe they mean selfish in that I don’t want to give my mom a grandchild or something like that. If that’s the case, sure, I’m selfish. And that’s okay. I still think it’s good to not put a history of toxic family traits onto a human who doesn’t exist yet and won’t ever have to if I choose not to. But anyway, I’m also selfish because I like my sleep. I like not having to take care of a kid while I have a migraine. I like my days off and not having to take a kid to doctor’s appointments, or school shopping, or to a playdate. I hate taking myself to those things with adults my own age, let alone a kid.

Also, kids are expensive. I was born in the generation between Millennials and Gen Z, so I’ve seen from both sides how much the cost of having children is affecting our generation’s decisions to not have children. Why would I have kids only to not be able to give them everything they need or want? It’s not like I’d be able to send them to college or leave them with savings for when I die and the world burns down or something. I like having money on my own that I can impulsively buy stuff with at 2:00am for a tiny bit of serotonin.

Not to mention: my dogs are my whole world. I’ve seen far too many people giving away dogs they’ve had for years because they don’t get along with the new baby. It breaks my heart to think of my dogs feeling neglected because I’m taking care of a child, or that I might not be able to afford vet bills because of a child. Some parents would argue that the love you experience when you have a child rivals anything else, including love for a dog, and maybe that’s true for some people. Whatever, not going to argue that. But I only know the love of my dogs, which is the deepest I’ve ever felt, and that’s good enough for me.