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New Year's Sleep Resolution

by Lee Roby 5 months ago in Humanity
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Let's get some sleep

It's our duty and our New Year's resolution to sleep:

With the advent of the light bulb, the internet and work we have developed an insomniac like atmosphere to the extent that we want to go harder, faster, and work. We've got bills to pay, money to gain, and a mortgage to pay off. Without the light bulb we would read by candle light and go to bed by the setting of the sun. Now we stay up to our hearts content and work. We work two jobs to pay the bills, we drink more coffee and endless energy drinks. We sit eagerly waiting for Santa as he climbs down the chimney and eats countless cookies and drinks his milk. We like the city that never sleeps never sleep. We've got one more chapter in the book, one more hour to study, and one more espresso to down. With that salary job we signed our sleep schedule over to the corporation. Now we stay up on hours on end usually driving ourselves mad in the process. Mad to the point of exhaustion. Miles to go before we sleep...yes miles to go before we sleep. Running ourselves ragged and off the road to an accident. If only we had time to meditate. If only we had time to sleep. Sleep what the hell is that. Is that something you want. Deadlines to meet, commuting to the heartland of work, more work, and data processing. Typing delusional typing, watching screen after screen of stock market figures, greeting endless people at Walmart, cashing checks and spending money, swinging that hammer, toeing the company line, chasing that woman, milking that cow, punching the clock, putting in overtime, baking a cake, taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, playing texas no limit hold'em online till your proverbial eyes bleed, and don't forget Hump day, or humping at home with your significant other, Facebook, gifs, and emojis..tweeting your ass off, blogging, instagram, snap chat, tik tok, sugar land, and halo, Netflix, HBO Max and talking on the phone, seven swans a swimming, filling the gas tank, walking the dog, taking a dump, and don't forget reruns of Mash, Nightrider, Baywatch, and Friends; coaching your daughter's team, swinging those clubs, and doing your taxes, waiting for your dad to pick you up from baseball practice, eating hot dogs at the Stadium, following your favorite NFL team, and joining your Fantasy football league, filling out your Final Four basketball parlay, taking that survey, eating dim sum, and drinking fine wine, scratching off that scratcher, playing the lotto, checking your credit score, eating ramen saving for some perelli tires, buffing your car, and making that sale, hiking, biking, and running that mile, driving through the drive through pissed they messed up your order, playing at the House of Blues, smoking those cigarettes, smoking the cheba, eating Taco bell, listening to our favorite song, writing a screenplay that's already been written, inventing that something no one would buy, and getting that speeding ticket while trying to talk the cop out of it by showing him your nice assets. These are just some of the things we do on a daily basis; wouldn't it be a dream and a new New Year's resolution to finally get some sleep. Mr. Sandman give me a dream. What if we just ignored half of the stuff I was just talking about and get some shut eye. Let's recharge those batteries. How about we give a no to all of that crap we do and say no more. We need sleep, and this is my New Year's resolution. What if we got that new my pillow, with that ultra soft mattress, boil some Chamomile tea, down some fucking NyQuil with the big freakin N and get some zzzs. How about for the time being we forget about work, making that dolla dolla bill ya'll, and take a nap. Let's hit the snooze and sleep the fuck in; forget about work and take a day off. A day off of that whining boss, the late night paper, and the Drudge report and lay down in our hammock and shut our eyes counting down from 5 to 1 until we fall deeper and deeper into the deepest sleep possible. Let's get that REM sleep that random eye movement sleep and chill. Let's nod off and sleep in a comatose like state for a while. How about we don't check Facebook or our phone and not go to church on Sunday all the while sleeping in our own bed with our favorite blanket with complete silence enjoying a rest; the rest God would let us have after reaping what we sow, the kind of rest, that solace midday nap that takes our imagination to a new level of calm before the storm, and all we can do is have restful sleep. It's about time we didn't go on that hike, and it's time we didn't schedule that tour and we just dozed off in our hotel room not going downstairs to eat but calling in room service and waiting till we finally got up, ignoring the food and sleeping some more. Taking ambien like eating pez from a pez dispenser, finally enjoying a deep sleep. Not watching your reruns and not tweeting the next great tweet, foregoing all calls and cancelling all appointments. Sleeping for goodness sake. This is my New Year's resolution; sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, till I'm cumbersome. Turning up the heat, drinking warm milk, eating the turkey with the tryptophan and falling asleep to the late night infomercial dreaming about Carlton Sheets and buying Girls Gone Wild all while sleeping on the couch; the pull out couch with the foot extender tilting your head and sleeping with your clothes on. Getting those zzzs. It's time for a Che Guevera sleeping revolution and making it our New Year's resolution. Eating Ben and Jerry's till we're sick and falling asleep on the toilet, sleeping in our pajamas in first class, and letting our better half take the wheel while we sleep because it's our New Year's resolution. Counting sheep and getting some sleep, napping when we can, taking a snooze in the MRI machine, taking a nap through that meeting, and laying our head on our desk putting that book in front of our face, sleeping in the movie theatre, and taking our coffee and pouring it down the sink. Being the next Brett Favre and taking hydrocodone with our beer, 17 even if we have to. Feeling that deep puffy cloud sleep. Come down...Come down...and just sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleepy, sleep, and you're getting sleepy, sleepy; you're getting sleepy. Time to sleep this time. Making it our Manifest Destiny to sleep, cogito ergo sleep, vide vide sleepy. Now when we say the word no to everything instead of Jim Carrey as the Yes man we can go to fucking sleep and be a no person. Making the mantra of no to other worldly things and finding some sleep. As though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil and get some sleep. Time for quiet time and time to not find that fucking dog Ms. Leepy, and time for milk and a time to nap. My new New Year's resolution is to get some sleep. It's finally time after those hard long days and nights to rest. Time to relax and sleep for a change. Our light bulb vigil has turned into a candle light vigil and now we blow out the candles on the cake and get some sleep. We can either adapt to sleep or we can sleep some more. The time is now for some sleep. Let's motivate ourselves to sleep; watching the spin cycle take us on a nap to the heavens. Our sleep is a very very nice sleep. It is our final decision and our New Year's resolution so let's ingrain it in our minds that it's time to forego everything and just go to sleep for the last and final time. The end.


About the author

Lee Roby

I published Trigonometry Simplified on Amazon. I like to write fiction as well as non-fiction. This is all a learning process for me and as I progress through this maze called life hopefully my passion and writing becomes greater.

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