My Littlest Hero

Allow me to introduce to you the little girl who saved my life, her name is Mia and I am proud to say that my baby girl saved my life over one year ago.

Once upon a time I was a full fledged Karen, working at a landmark property. The Doubletree by Hilton Metropolitan, I was happy with the accomplishment of becoming Manager on Duty, however I was not happy with my life.

Folks, when you are not happy it shows. Doesn’t matter what your fancy title is, what nice blazer you have or what amazing property you work at.. if you are not happy it will show. This is the tragedy in having a traumatic life and not seeking help for all I have been through, from my father’s murder, to abuse, to my darkest times in the NYC Stripclub scene.. I actually ok’d all of that with no therapy.. how did I function?

I did not, I got by.. see intelligence has nothing to do with wellness. I’ve always achieved whatever I set my mind on.. I just never thought about setting my mind on myself.

Although I moved up the ladder in Hospitality, I did not care about myself.. I cared about others more than me.

I’m sure it appeared that I cared about myself with the happy photos, going out after work and hooking up with whomever.. that’s not really caring about yourself, that’s actually a Trauma response.. the need to pretend you have your shit together because you care about what others think versus what it best for you. This wild behavior is risky, we have abusers and diseases waiting for you on a wild night.

Sadly her father and I do not have a romantical love story, her father preyed on me for years as we were co-workers once in 2009 and finally got to me in 2012, by 2015 I was a victim of Domestic Violence and once again a single mother of two.

This tragic tale does not end there.. sadly I was convinced to drop charges and I did.

Ladies, do not ever give an abuser a second chance like I did. The very same person who beat me in 2015 to the point I had to run out of the apartment to call 911 from a nearby Deli, is the very same person who took custody of my child over one year ago.

Abusers prey and lurk waiting for the best time to strike, this is unhandled mental illness. His perfect moment was when I, like many millions of Americans lost my job.

While I believe he is a good father, he simply does not respect his children’s mother’s.. yes there are quite a few of us.

Despite the madness, I have no regrets to this day. I don’t believe in regrets, I do believe in lessons.

From this relationship, I learned about the behaviors of my mother & father’s relationship. See my daughter’s father and my mother have lots in common. I actually posted a video on YouTube with all the things they have in common. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason.

I am the product of an Affair & my father was murdered in 1983, I was never really told about my father and I’ve had to figure things out on my own. I am grateful to be an Author and writing the story of my life is of high importance.. our mission is to share our story until we are on the big screen!

How Spirituality Saved My Life is available everywhere, happy to see my very first book available in South Africa, Australia & Netherlands! I am currently working on book number two which will include remedies.

How is Mia my littlest hero?? Well over one year ago there was an incident in my home between my mother and daughter and I had a moment.

I saw my father’s photo on the wall, my mother addressing my daughter in a fashion that did not sit well with me and my life flashed before my eyes.. all of my trauma and a question popped in my head.

Are you going to let your daughter go through what you went through as a child??? My immediate answer was NO!!

I have since forgiven my mother but I serve God & my children, not man.

Mia taught me this, she also has believed in me every step of the way.

Starting your own business from scratch and writing a book is not easy but I look at my children and they are my reason to do better every day.

My son is a talented Artist, he is responsible for the sketch of Mia & Brownie, my beloved pet and he is also responsible for my book cover. I am so pleased with his work that he will be doing the covers to all of my books!

Mia is an amazing singer, at a very young age her voice is powerful. She’s witty and smart. Very kind yet a tough cookie.. she actually reminds me of my mother.

Because she reminds me of my mother, another survivor of abuse I have made it my mission to love my daughter the way my mother should have been loved.

I have made it my mission to be the perfect example of a woman to my daughter. I must teach her that you do not need a man to make it in this world. I do not date, over one year ago I chose celibacy for my Creator & children.

If I am to be the example, I cannot date.

Today’s man simply do not respect women, I know we still have some good guys but too far and in between.. I’ve got children to raise, I don’t have time for games and sadly I attract abusers not lovers.

I don’t know what it is about me that makes it ok to try to control, lie and abuse me.. because I don’t know I pulled out. And I could not be more proud.

I should have learned this lesson after my son but having a little girl made a difference in my life, to me she is the best girl ever!

I have used our time apart to focus on the Podcast and writing. I have several books lined up and can tell you that if I did not have this girl, I would not be able to tell my father’s story and I may have continued that trauma response life of pretending to be ok, when clearly I am not.

I continue therapy to this day and I am proud to do so because even after writing my first book, I still have questions I do not have the answers to. We must normalize wellness, let’s stop ok’ing trauma. Especially, if we have young ones coming up.

The custody challenges I have experienced, usually happens to men. Some may think how can your daughter live with her father and not her mother?

Well I’m here to tell you that when it comes to trapping, there is no gender. Men trap women just as much as women trap men with children.

Because I know this was the intent on his part, it is my mission to succeed gracefully. One day we will be back together again, I cherish my time with my daughter and I thank her for bringing me back to life.

Old, funny & weird Diana is back and I can only thank Mia for that.. I may never know her father’s true intentions toward me as he abused me in 2015, convinces me to drop charges to then take my daughter but I believe in God’s divine plan for me.. no man can take what God has in store for you.

No wrench anyone throws at you can make you fail, never surrender to man. I conduct myself in a Military manner now and consider myself to be successful in doing so.

Our future is bright and while I’m proud of both children, I must give credit where credit is due.

Mia brought Diana back, and Gabe and I will always be thankful for her..

No matter where you are, my Mia you are my shining star and my wish is to make you proud. I’m happy to be the example of a woman for you.

You need no man, it should be a man’s honor and blessing to be with you and I can only teach this by respecting myself. Thank you for being you!

Mama is proud of you every day! Thank you for bringing me back to life!

Every Mother’s Day is special, this year after all the tragedies experienced I am honored to be your mother and it’s my honor to continue to make you proud so long as I am on this Earth ❤️