My Father is my Guardian Angel

Imagine you had a bodyguard who was always with you.

He/she did all the usual bodyguard things like protecting you from danger, warding off assailants, and generally keeping you safe in all situations.

They offer you moral guidance, helped you become a stronger person, and lead you to your ultimate calling in life.

Every guardian angel is like a nurturing mother, an archetypal mother—the "perfect" mother.

This mother would always be running after her child, doing her best to keep the child safe. She would certainly take an active interest in the child's life, following their earthly journey closely.

This is how guardian angels feel about you, the way a doting mother feels about her child. And just like the best of mothers, a guardian angel's love is unconditional.

My father was my hero.

He represented everything a child needs in a father: stability, discipline, encouragement, art, laughter, and unconditional love.

He is why music runs through my veins and why I never gave up on art.

He was the kind of man who worked hard for his family, who always made time to play music or paint with us, a man who never lied and never cursed, and no, he wasn't religious.

I have seen holes in his shoes while we, his 4 children, had new shoes. 

He didn't spoil us; he and my amazing mom had taught us to be grateful for everything, and respectful of everyone.

He was a complete artist, as far as I'm concerned.

He played 4 instruments, painted beautifully in aquarelle and oil, and sang with a tenor voice. 

He also composed and wrote music, as well as lyrics.

My siblings and I each have a personal song composed by our father the day we were born, entitled our first name.

Isn't that special??????

You get the picture, right? - artistic family.

The day my father died (of cancer), I wasn't next to him.

I was living (and still am) abroad, I couldn't even attend his funeral, and that guilt stayed with me for years to come.

I might still hold some of that guilt today.

Perhaps that is why I'm writing a whole post about Him - to tell him that I'm sorry I wasn't there when he departed.

As the years passed, I've grown wiser, and I have come to realize that maybe I wasn't supposed to be there when he departed, that I wasn't supposed to see him die - the pain would have destroyed me.

I was spared the trauma, and that is something I can live with.

One day, years after his departure, I found myself in a very difficult emotional situation in my life.

I was just starting true Shadow Work, and so I was lost, alone, and scared.

This one pigeon appears at my window and does not leave for a week.

It was white and beautiful.

Before even realizing that it was there For Me, I kept wondering if it was hungry or something cause I hadn't seen it leave my window in days.

And then it hit me: my father loved pigeons.

He used to raise them on our balcony while growing up. (I had to go back memory lane, like 35 years back, in order to have that revelation.)

He was very dedicated to taking care of these beautiful birds, and now they were returning a favor.

IT HIT ME HARD!!!

I WASN'T ALONE - his light was talking to me!

I didn't need to understand in detail the message he was sending.

Just the fact that I've become Aware of it was enough to keep me going…and I kept going!

Ever since that realization, I never missed a white pigeon in my path.

They always show up when I am down, and I can only assume that dad is proud of everything I have become so far and that his fatherly protection and love go beyond life and death.

Our connection now has evolved and expanded from pigeons to numerology, to symbols, to music, to art, to psychics whom he sends to me with messages, and so on…

I am letting go of the "guilt" thanks to his resilient love and his persistence to protect me forever - in the real sense!

Dear Dad, Thank You for being my father and loving me forever and beyond - I LOVE YOU!