My Daughter Asked

I was asked, mom if you were five years old, where would you go?

Oh baby goo-goo, let me tell you,

I would go see my baby brothers and my mom & dad.

Mike would have been just born, the boys following in line.

Five kids aged 0-5, that is a lot. Endless asks and sacrifice.

A time traveler. Where would they go in my world?

Payson in the '90s of course.

East Verde River, leaves, rocks, berries, everything from then. Running by the river, hiking the rocks, skipping the rapids. That's what it would start with.

Fish Rock, Big Rock, Wasp nests, and more. That's what we lived for.

Keiko and Kaydo, Chester too. The dogs made their mark and so did we.

5th birthday pinata, a Mountain Dew shirt. Late as always. I'd still time travel back.

Hiking by the river, Aspen trees, first, second, and third crossing.

Campouts, cookouts, and swimming galore.

Bring your friends, always room for one more.

Horses, rabbits, and chickens we never wanted.

Christmas, casino work, and always waiting for them to get home.

Fighting, screaming, it will get better. Here come the 2000s.

Peacock pen, Rabidash, will the memories ever get old?

Old house, new house, a change approaches. Our capsule holds what was.

Round Valley, brothers grow, brothers fight, sister loves, sister understands, and sister is our light.

New house rules, routine, and guides. Animals and jobs, don't forget to make your bed.

Shed, balcony, hikes, bed. I love you my brothers till my end.

Mom and dad fight, and a laptop that was thrown down the stairs. TV pushed off the stand. Contact solution as protection. Math homework. Who are we?

Running around the house, feeding the horses, a burden put upon a kid. One who doesn't know anything else.

Time travel for the love, the support, and the guidance never given.

The love, the hate. The screaming the fighting, the want, the need, the adolescent calling.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Running circles around the house.

Did you guys know that OCD exists?

Winnie and Bella. The horses too. We are so sorry about what has been done to you.

The doves, the pigeons, the peacocks too.

The forest the whispers, the worries for naught.

If I could time travel, I'd make it right.

Sonic trail, a light that cannot be found. A weird magnetic force, affecting all around.

PANDAS, Mike, Streptococcus, who would have known an autoimmune disease could go so far.

Pediatric Autoimmune Neurological Disorder Associated with Streptococcus.

Not acknowledged, not believed, A real-world disorder.

A different brother, different look, a whole different life from the trigger of strep.

This has changed the order of life. Seeing things that aren't there. Locked in the mind of thoughts that protrude.

Seeing Jesus, stabbing baby C with a pencil, and throwing her down the stairs. That isn't real.

What is? What can be brought to reality to assist in this? This mental health breakdown.

But, we support, we love, and we find a way. To improve the life of someone who has been jipped.

Therapy, support, and never-ending tests. Where have we been left?

We love our mom. We love our dad. We love all the things we could have had.

Thank you for what you have shown. That fight in the dark where nobody has won.

If I was a time traveler, what would I have seen?

A family that tried to make it, no matter their scene. I am here to hear the things that went wrong.

But, nobody makes it stronger than those who were on.

On to the successes and failures of kids that couldn't be seen.

By parents who did not want to push their dreams.