Love to Appreciate You

”I Love You.”

Three little, albeit POWERFUL, words meant for family, very close friends, and definitely your significant other once enough time knowing them has passed that you can be POSITIVE about the message’s sincerity.

…But does such an important message that some may or may not hear often enough have to remain so constraining behind so many rules?

In a lot of way, that may depend on the speaker/recipient/context.

Even at 37 (and approximately 3 years from turning into a Judd Apatow lead character if I don't change my string of rotten luck with women around right-quick), I still have time to change/to learn/to "break" (at least in terms of antiquated paradigms).

My time at GVSU was well over a decade ago now; but one life-lesson taught to me by almost immediately staggering into the fold of Campus Ministry still remains:

"Even women who are *JUST* meant to be friends still enjoy the security of being greeted by the gesture of the embrace of friendship."

Also; albeit a more painful life lesson to learn...

"Even a single male infatuated by his latest crush is still a human being; NOT, in fact, an Octopus. Tread delicately about the embrace that may or may not be ALWAYS how you greet your crush du jour. Because once she feels that that line's been crossed, you may be out of luck with her FRIENDSHIP, let alone what you were trying to build up to pursue."

Female friends who know me TODAY may never have guessed that I didn't grow up thinking that the warm embrace between friends of the opposite gender was a natural paradox (To this day, I ask permission the first time, and maybe some subsequent times thereafter, or at least RECIPROCATE when the woman STARTS it). THAT lesson was taught to me socially while meeting coeds at university (and then, now learning a "new" lesson, I overused and abused it).

I'm going somewhere with that anecdote; and there is a cardinal difference between being single in my twenties and being single in my late thirties.

I'm not done learning new things or "breaking" old insecurities.

As of this Fall, I am learning what could be a brand new way to simply say "I appreciate you" or "I value you" or "I'm here for you as a friend without strings."

In a word...

"I. Love. You"

"I love you." Before you even meet a woman willing to agree with you about how you feel about her? Before you've been on your first date? To a woman who you know is unattainable as more than a friend because (her relationship status/her age/she's just out of your league)? To your bartender/waitress just before you leave (Well, once I know them as a friend)? To a woman who is not your (mother/grandmother) and, therefore, the sentiment is FORCED???

You heard me the first time; and I'm still struggling to make sure that I heard myself. I mean, even known suave, sophisticated womanizer, Gambit, only reserved his very first "I love you" for sassy, Southern, unattainable Rogue; and even THAT was only because he was sure that Mr. Sinister was ready to kill them all (I know it's from one of many two-part episodes of "X-Men: The Animated Series." The actual episode escapes me, though I'm 90% positive that it was from Season 3 or 4 [apparently, with 45% positivity reserved for each season).

See; even "Gambit" only used "I love you" to ONE nonfamiliar woman who wasn't yet his wife; and even then, only because the threat existed that they wouldn't see one another again.

That was my OLD idea about casually and cavalierly throwing about "I Love You" to every single person I got close enough to.

No, I'm not THERE yet; and I still hold such a phrase to be sacred enough that I might never get there.

I have finally reached a point where "I love you" is a nice supplement for "I appreciate you," "I support you," "I'll stand by you like family," or "I value/respect you;" and, even THEN, I try my darndest to only reciprocate the sentiment so that I'm sure that the receiving party thinks that it's okay to hear that.

A (SINCERE) "I LOVE YOU" can certainly be used to say "I'll stand by you," "I'm here for you," "I value you," and "I truly appreciate you."

Any ROMANTIC "I LOVE YOU" is still only meant for very few women; and, hopefully, only the one who's meant to be my wife one day.

Thank you for reading my meandering, rambling thoughts on THIS topic, among others. I love and appreciate you for the support in reads and "love" reacts.