Pardon Me For a Moment of Your Time...

"Who's sorry now???" (Patsy Cline).

"...But I think it's about (Forgiveness, Forgive..." (Don Henley)

"...me, I know not what I do! Please FORGIVE ME, I..." (Bryan Adams)

"...'m sorry I'm bad; I'm sorry you're blue! I'm sorry about all the things I said..." (Buckcherry).

"...Too late to apologize; it's too laaaaaate!" (OneRepublic)

That intro probably lasted painfully long for some of you and I apologize for that.

Which, actually, brings me to my next point.

I am never going to be the "insensitive" guy (and if I come across that way, or you even SAY so, witness me brought to my knees until you believe otherwise). I have ALWAYS, in fact, been overly apologetic; needlingly so.

"Having a bad day? I'm sorry to hear that; what can I do to (help/make it better/etc.)?"

"Someone ELSE'S behavior let you down? I'm sorry (Who do I have to...have words with/give the stink eye too/SILENTLY WILL away?)"

"Did I almost hit you with that door? Excuse me; my x-ray vision needs adjusting."

"Did you walk INTO me? I'm sorry; I didn't pull off enough matrix moves to dodge."

"As an aspiring (and constantly stumbling) decent guy, pardon me for a moment while I apologize for the a$$h0le5." ("By the way, if you're TOO offended by the word a$$h0le5,...you get the idea.")

You get the point; and I've now wasted even more of your time here to reach the point.

So many apologies for so many "offenses" (especially the ACTUAL offenses that others perform) DO run the risk of being obnoxious at best; and sounding INSINCERE at worst. Let me assure you, when it's me, it's sincere (even for a misspoken word or two that you've already waved off). I cannot fake that, no matter how many others can. Maybe I'm overdoing the apology schtick, but I DO mean it, no matter when, one day, it won't yield forgiveness anymore.

The apologetic behavior is so rare these days that it's noticeable. My friends notice it (girls, in particular, call me "sweet" [of course, all girls are just lined right up to drool over the "sweet" guy; when they're not becoming annoyed by the apologetic behavior]). My family noticed and have constantly taken me aside as a young adult to go: "It's okay! Why are you so overly apologetic anyway?" (Hmmm; could a childhood of being treated as though I was in everyone's way or was a pain in the neck still be resonating with me when I step out and find that a person who I care about is having a bad day? Is it entirely possible that I care too deeply about too many people too quickly in simply trying to belong and treating others as though THEY belong too? [Yes.])

There is a fine line to be drawn here. When I DO something INTENTIONALLY wrong, that is where an apology and striving to exhibit better behavior comes in (What good is an apology if I don't know what I've done wrong and am willing to try to do better?).

If it's an unintended word or two removed from a deeper context, "I understand; here's what I meant and I can try to do better" will suffice.

When it's someone ELSE'S behavior in the first place, sometimes, someone just needs a listening ear and venting board. Sympathy, empathy, understanding, and, if possible, helping out are all that is needed (the APOLOGY is, exclusively, for MY behavior).

This is STILL my struggle and I have to do better; out of my own self-respect and to avoid literally irritating people away by being TOO nice of a person. I appreciate your time and I'm sorry if you felt that it was wasted...