Love Does Things To A Person

I always felt like I had to have a partner. There was just something about not feeling lonely and having someone you could always talk to without them acknowledging your annoyance.

That's the thing though...

I always felt like I had to have a partner.

I didn't know how to be happy without someone.

Or how to love someone.

I didn't know how to be alone without feeling sad.

Why.

Why does love to have to make me feel this way...

Wait.

Loveee~

Oh~

The things I did.... for love.

The way I felt recklessly insane with love, it was like an invisible force that was leading me too astray.

Trespassing all my boundaries of reason and sensibility.

In the secret corners of my heart, I felt intoxicated by the sheer power of this emotion, which compelled myself to act without caution or fear of consequences.

But what else stood in the secret motive of my heart was that there was an undiscovered person influencing this all.

Would I really call it "influenced" though...

It seems like I'm the problem however, I am after all the person putting myself back into this.

I just wanted to be loved, to feel loved. To have a sense of belonginess...

Was that too much to ask for?

...

Over and over...

I keep going over...

To the same man that hurts me,

But! The same man who loves me~

Wait.

Why did you say love like that?

Are you saying he doesn't actually love me?

...

He didn't though. I sacrificed a ton, and I was a fucking awesome partner for him. I sacrificed my life, just for him, just for him to learn, for him to be happy.

Why do I keep putting myself back in these situations.

Anything I would do for him to return...

~

One day, I decided to do something different.

I wondered in a forest, deep down into the tranquil nature of peace and harmony.

I found this river and decided to express my beauty through the majestic water.

So, I go nude and slowly step into the river.

The smooth and graceful water unravels my beauty as I slowly step into the river.

It's calm here. I like it.

The landscape surrounding me consists of calmness and serenity, with lush greenery framing the banks of the river.

It's pretty here, but... I would be more pretty if I was dead.

So what I did after...

I let myself fall over... into the river.

Letting my spirit feel free and unlocked.

Ouch.

I hit my head on a rock.

But it wasn't hard enough.

There's blood, but not enough.

I pick up the large, jagged rock.

And start to continuously hit the rock on my head.

More of blood began to pour out of my head, matting my hair and running down my face.

I collapse in the river; the cold earth welcomes me to comfort and my fatal embrace.

The piercing cold water still flows past my body.

Now we wait.

I wait, and wait...

For him to come back.

To see if he stills loves me...

...

It's been a few hours... and he's still not here.

Is he leaving me to die? To die here hopelessly?

Does he not love me?...

DOES HE WANT ME TO DISAPPEAR?

...

Just kidding.

That never happened, it only happened in my mind.

Just to see if he still cares about me like how I care about him~

~~

Authors Notes:

Thank you so much for reading another confession story of mine! 💗