Life Inside The Lines

A cool breeze washed over me as I stepped onto the mountain's peak. It smelled of pine and musk from the forest down below. The rocks crunched with every step I took, thinking maybe this time. I’ll fly away. I spread my wings, imagining myself flying through the sky without anyone holding me back. No one would make me feel insane. Or tell me I wasn’t doing enough for the family.

Not too long ago, I moved from cave to cave from one relative to another. For five years, I felt trapped, used, and alone. Every day I did my best to fit in and took each lesson to heart. Along the way, I swallowed the pain and pretended it was okay. I spoke less and less each day and buried myself in search of knowledge, gold, or food. Some days I didn’t know who or what I was. The rough edges of my claws felt heavy and bruised easily upon the rocks with each step I took. My hair and whiskers seemed to age with a touch of gray. I looked like an elder. In truth, I'm still a hatchling compared to them. So how is it that I seem so wise and advanced in years?

Could it be that I’ve overworked my body? Or is it that I observe and keep my thoughts to myself? Sometimes it is easier to listen and not speak to be left alone. Is that what is being called patient? I know that is not a way to live, but it is the only way to survive. To live inside the lines, and take the abuse was a way out. I could gather what I needed to escape.

Many would say I can fly away anytime. There was no need for me to stay. But the truth is no one can leave that easy. The world has grown since then. Only trees and mountains were safe. Many strange creatures roam the lands now, scavenging materials to build homes and grow food. I am sure one of my elders called them humans. They do frighten me. They are unpredictable. On one hand, they are sweet and kind but cruel and mean on the other. I guess they are similar to us in that concept. However, I fear that no one will be safe if they consume more than they already have. If that happens, I’ll be unable to change my fate and forever be chained to this lifestyle. It will be my eternal hell.

Looking upon this drawing, I could feel these words spread through me. It was as if I was staring at a version of myself through the dragon's eyes. At one point, I was this dragon waiting patiently for the day to be on my own. Living the life I wanted and not being dragged down by every little thing I was or wasn’t doing. Life is already hard enough. Why make it worse for someone else? Sometimes we need help, and sometimes we get it from a living person or a piece of art. Even though it's a drawing from a coloring book, I did the coloring myself. It still spoke to me when I needed it. I was in a dark place at the time. I felt chained to my living situation with one of my relatives. I was supposed to go to school and work while helping around the house. We shared meals and acted like a family. However, it felt like I was just another roommate. Other times I felt like I was her maid cleaning up after her while being blamed for things I didn’t or should’ve done. It was like I wasn’t part of the family at all.

Looking back made me realize that I was being turned into a workaholic just to stay away from the place that was supposed to be my home. I didn’t feel safe there or at work. I had to find my safe place in my coloring book. Or in the stories that I’d created. I’ve waited so long to be on my own. I finally had the chance to find that passion I’ve been seeking without anyone getting in my way. If there is anything to take away from this story, it would be that patience is another way of not giving up. Even if there were many days I wanted to and cried myself to sleep because I felt miserable. I’m glad I found that coloring book when I did because it gave me a chance to remember. Remember to be patient because there is always a way to be where you belong.