Just Go With It

I don't know exactly what to write here but I'm just gonna say fuck it and write. This is not a blog post. There's really no purpose to this. All I am doing is writing whatever thoughts occur to me. But this is really annoying me because there are a million thoughts that come to my mind at once; thoughts I am actively thinking and then there are intrusive thoughts which are annoying as fuck because who wants those right? Ya'll ever heard of OCD?

Ya know how people think that it's about being clean? Well it's not. That is a misconception that is all too common. OCD is atually about intrsuive thoughts that cause anxierty, which in turn can lead to people performing compulsions, such as locking their car a million times because they get the intrusive thought about someone breaking in, or avoiding their grandma because they get unwanted images of harming her.

Yes, avoidance is one of the many compulsions associated with OCD, as well as checking, which is what I just described when I mentioned someone locking their car door excessively. OCD stands for "OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER,". It is a clinical diagnosis and should never be taken lightly. I myself have undiagnosed OCD....That I havent gotten screened for yet because I've just always been busy. Okay. I think my stream of conciousness is finished. How did I do?

Oh would ya look at that? Word count isn't at 600 yet. According to Vocal Media, we must have of 600 words or more to get our posts approved. So I guess I'll keep writing? But honestly what else should i write about? This is a stream of conciousness, afterall, so there doesn't have to be any one main focus.

Question: do people post streams of consciousness? I haven't seen a lot of blogs or websites post those. Likely because in this boring adult world we live in, everything must be exact and everything must have a focus and purpose. Okay? But why dont we all just loosen up and relax a little?

Why do so many things in the realm of adulthood have to be so RIGID?

I am not okay with it and if I am being honest, I do NOT accept it. Just because we are adults doesn't mean we have to lose our child like wonder! We can be 21+ years old and still occasionally swing on the swing set, or go down a slide, or blurt out random words like "Macaroni and Cheese" or "fried chicken" from time to time. And wear pig-tails and buy kids toys and decorate our rooms how we want.

Just because we grew up doesn't mean that the things we used to enjoy as kids have to be lost to us. Aren't we all just over this adulting bull shit?

I know I am. I think that's partly why the world is so chaotic; we don't just loosen up and enjoy life. Seems like we are all just fighting for the next win when in reality, do we not just deserve to rest and play?

Ive honestly had enough.

But I get it. Work is vital to a structured society. But I think there's too much "Im gonna hustle even if it kills me" and not enough "I worked really hard and that is enough for me." There's far too much perfectionism and not enough self compassion and grace. There's far too much "I gotta stay busy" and not enough "I need rest so I will honor that." But I get it. Most people can't afford to give themselves what they need. Which isn't okay.

Okay, so we are now at more than 615 words. How'd I do?