Is Reciprocity Cyclical?
Or Is It Just That People Don't Like Me Any More? 🌝
Introduction
I was going to ditch this as it might just seem like me whining about losing readers, one of the reasons for this was me walking out of a group after being pilloried by one of the members for "not sticking to the rules" and "self-promotion" because I shared Vocal stories there.
So Is Reciprocity Cyclical
I have written about the importance of reciprocity before and this was my last piece.
You could say that I am very guilty of self-promotion on Vocal because I often share links to my other Vocal stories in my stories as I have done here.
I always feel guilty when I miss stories from my subscribed Vocal Creators and my friends, but I have to be honest I could not realistically read every story from everyone I am subscribed to, and the converse of that is that I cannot expect everyone who subscribes to me to read my stories.
Vocal notifications are generally a flood of publications, so I seldom take notice of notifications which means that I often miss new subscribers, hearts, and comments (thank you so much for that Vocal, thank God you put the filter on the roadmap twelve months ago), so I use my subscription feed to check for new stories that interest me.
I think that we find Creators we enjoy and when we see their stories we then drop in. I think it is always good to leave a comment on the Vocal Story and if you saw it elsewhere, Facebook, Discord, or Threads then leave a comment there. While a Heart is nice to get, you never know who leaves them in Vocal, unless you see them in your Vocal Notifications and that is highly unlikely if you subscribe to a lot of Creators.
I have been advised to trim my Subscriptions to fix my notification issues, but that says to me that Vocal doesn't want us to connect, so why bother with comments, hearts, subscriptions, and tips? Going forward I will maximize my engagement by keeping all of these channels, and I won't ditch subscriptions unless Creators flood my notifications or never engage with me.
The thing is, people have jobs and family commitments, and so many other things that may stop them from engaging. When they are doing these things, everything else has to be put to the back.
I have many friends who disappear and then return, and that is a thing with friends, it may be three days or three months, and you do miss them but when they reconnect it is like they were never away.
I think this is part of the cycle of reciprocity, the ones who appreciate you will always reappear at some point and let you know when they have taken the time to read your work.
You obviously need to make yourself visible. sometimes you may feel you are being ignored when the reality is that real life is just taking your audience's attention.
So I keep writing, knowing that people may pick up what I have done at some point, and similarly, I will pick up on others' work, when I get the time to read and properly appreciate the amazing work that people do.
I am thankful to Vocal for having helped me make these connections, and hopefully I will make many more.
I love seeing comments and compliments and I always try and reciprocate, although sometimes when I see a flood of comments on a story I answer with a cover-all comment, but that is just my inherent laziness.
Conclusion
Thank you for reading and I will keep reciprocating, time and opportunity permitting.
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Comments (32)
"I like this one" -Thor (Endgame) I love how honest and thoughtful you are. This is definitely relateable. I thought back to my own experiences on here while reading.
Interesting. Sometimes I have no words for how I feel about a story, purely because it is so thought-provoking or beautiful, that the only thing I can manage is a heart or a simple "This is beautiful!"
Refreshingly honest. It's hard to keep up with everyone's stories and articles. You do the best you can, when you can promote yourself within stories. I might try that. Congrats on your Top Story!
Congratulations on Top Story!! 🎉🎉🎉Great Mike!😊💕
Mike this is such a vibe for me lately!! I recently burnt myself out trying to keep up with all the people who read my stories and my subscription list, so I feel this so hard!! I feel like there is an underlying toxicity in Vocal on occasion as a lot of people will read our stuff with the expectation of reciprocation. But honestly, that's just not the case and it's not feasible either! I think as long as you do what makes you happy and you chase that feeling, then you can say screw everyone else and their opinion!! (As I give my own unsolicited opinion 🤦♀️) Anyways, my point is that I will support you in doing what feels good for you! 💚 If they unfollowed because you didn't reciprocate they weren't worth the trouble and I think self promotion is a lovely thing!! It's actually a skill I'm trying to teach myself this year so I applaud you for having that skill and confidence already! Great work! I loved the opening song!! Congrats on Top Story Mike!
WELL DONE
GREAT STORY
Great thoughts, Mike! So much truth here. Personally, I love the sense of community that Vocal has given me. Unfortuanately, I've found myself to be one of those who's faded over the last few months in order to focus on some things outside of writing. However, it's lovely to know and see that the Vocal community is still here and accepting of me when I'm finally able to nudge my way back in! ❤️
Yes, real life tends to get in the way for many. Some good points Mike! Have a good one! 😊👍
Great story. Nice and easy read
I agree with what you're saying and maybe you answered you're own questions. We all have different lives with their own time constraints. We have different agendas; some want more than others from their experience on Vocal, and some have different areas of interest. I'm not drawn to poetry as much as fiction and I'm always waiting for challenges that interest me. I have people who give good feedback and others none. I'm fine with all of it, just happy with the journey. I try to read what I can and comment if I have something to say. Well done on getting top story, maybe the Vocal team is listening.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
I feel like Vocal is supposed to be a place where we connect and support each other, so it should be reciprocal!
Spot on. I am afraid I fade in and out like a lighthouse. 🤣❤️
It is the blessing and the curse of a writing platform like Vocal that it provides a source of external validation that can be a lot more immediate than other publishing avenues. The curse, of course, being that when you don't receive as much engagement on one piece versus another, you start to wonder what you did "wrong" when, to your point, it's impossible to ever truly know what's going on in someone's life and why they read one piece or not. It's something I'm trying to develop a healthy distance from in the 2024 Vocal space. Your writing has the value you give it, not just what others see in it. On a related note, I don't know if you're subscribed to me (since, shockingly, I have no way to check, just like with ❤️s). But if you *are*, feel free to trim me since I'm now sitting at 70 subscribers and would really, really love to get that number down by 1. Not that I'm a prolific publisher on here, but every bit counts and I'm a willing participant
Mike Marvelous work! Keep it going—congrats!❤️
Well done on your T.S. 😁
I think we all go through periods where our readers don’t engage as much as we would expect, no matter how much we’re engaging with other writers, and I think it’s just like you said, we all have lives outside of this platform that distract us and take us away from it, so even if we mean to reciprocate, sometimes we forget. This is a very heartfelt reminder that we should do so when we can, as it is much appreciated by the writer. Congrats on the Top Story!
I am this way. Real life takes me away, but I engage when I can. I expect it is the same for those who subscribe to me. 💖 It’s all good 😊 congrats on the TS
Back to say, "Congratulations on Top Story!!!"💕❤️❤️
I get that. I have certain tastes in genres and I prefer to seek out stories that pique my interest. In any case, if it is well written and engaging, it gets a like and maybe even a message of appreciation from me. If not, I move on and the author still earns a read. No harm, no foul.
I try to reciprocate as much as I can but time is my enemy and as much as I love to read, I love to write too. It is a constant struggle for me to keep all the plates in the air. It is the key to doing well on Vocal though and being heard. I don't think it's saying anything about your work. It's just how it is.
I don't have a problem with the notifications at all (I'm subscribed to over 3000 people, I was able to check this in the Vocal app I downloaded a few days back) but I know you have a problem with it so I really hope Vocal gets it fixed!
Yep, I had a couple of those weeks back in December when I couldn't be on Vocal. First it was going to Sioux Falls, SD for a surprise 80th birthday party for my father, then it was heading off to the Amana Colonies in Iowa to spend a few days with my wife's sister & brother-in-law. Shortly before that I had written a couple of pieces referencing depression & suicide. I couldn't help but wonder if anyone wondered, lol.
Thoughtful piece, Mike. I'm with Babs on this one, a bit melancholy with the downturn. Maybe it was the holidays, and it's just hard to build a reader base when we are all trying to write. Keep it up, though! We love you!