I wanted him to stay

I could not understand why he was like that after everything I have done for him. It was only moments of bad stuff that he would do I know he did not mean it like that but some times there were bad times.

I thought about every way I could to please him did his laundry made good food like he wants to eat it even if it meant to do it again and again until it was the way he liked his food. I remember a time when I was so tried coming home from work and all he had done was lay down in bed resting after he had a night with his friends out coming home late.

I thought I would be mad but his laughter about what happen that night out made me realize he had a great time how could I be mad at happy moments it meant a lot to have fun out with his friends that night.

I guess it was some fun I wanted to say how I really felt after all that night was a night of our anniversary did he forget, well he did not show any signs of remembering at all. I feel as though he just does not want to do any thing with me this days I wonder why he is always too tried or over anxious to want to leave by himself some where he knows I can not go.

I planned a night out with his parents and on that day he did not feel good he said he was just not feeling good did not want his parents to get sick right now so we did not go. I want to yell at him seems like one excuse after another what will I do.

I am trying to find ways to entertain him but how he is never in the mood for not even a conversation not even about sports. I guess he just wants out his wants to be alone I must find some way to distract that from his mind. Looking at him from across the kitchen I noticed a call came in for him and he answered right away with a smile as he looked at his phone.

That looks like he was waiting on something important I can see the look on his face through the kitchen window must be nice to answer a call like that it is not a smile for me. I went outside and looked at him are we doing anything tonight and he did not even lift his head I want to just take that phone away from him right now.

But it is okay I thought in my mind I will be okay, I sat next to him until he listen to whatever conversation he had going he never said a word back just smile as he listen to his cell phone. I don't want to cry heading back inside thinking I wonder who that was. Finally he comes in and said my friend is having a get together in his house tonight to watch a game be back soon okay don't wait for me okay.

What now no words no I love you no how was your day, You know what I said have fun enjoy your night out as he left I have a plan a plan with out him it's my night too and I am going to place where I can be acknowledge and talked to and loved and at least for someone to say hey how are you doing today. See you my love I thought to myself don't wait up for me.