He used to want you to grow up. Now he wants you to call.

I didn't text him a blessing,

I didn't buy him gifts or give him red envelopes,

I didn't even call him to check in.

I don't know why, there always seems to be some distance between a daughter and her father.

As long as I can remember, my dad's been working out of town,

They only go home twice a year for harvest in autumn and Spring Festival.

Listen to grandma said, he did not finish primary school to work for people to earn money, and this job, a do is more than 30 years.

I remember one of the things I hated when I was at school was filling out parental work.

Other students filled in doctors, teachers, drivers, cooks and so on, while I filled in workers for more than 20 years.

I felt inferior for a long, long time.

Along with the inferiority complex comes the contempt and dissatisfaction towards him.

I couldn't understand why other people's fathers were so good and he could only build walls and farm the land.

I couldn't understand why other people's children were born into such a good family, while I had to wait a month to buy a two-dollar sticker.

This dissatisfaction and self-abasement followed me throughout my adolescence, so that HE and I were never very close.

I bought him one a few years ago when smartphones came out.

But when it came time to print, it turned out that his prints had been incomplete.

At the beginning I despise him even so simple things are not good, can pull his hand to teach him to operate only to find that his hands were so rough, ten fingers are all covered with calluses, yellow and hard, the shape of the fingerprint has not seen too clearly.

My eyes suddenly welled up with guilt and regret,

But still did not say what words silently lowered his head, help him one finger one finger to try, and then reluctantly recorded the ring finger and little finger.

He didn't know that during the three minutes I bowed my head, I scolded myself like a dog.

I suppose he must be very unlucky to have a daughter like me.

He has suffered so much and suffered so much on his own, and NOT only do I not understand him, BUT I am ashamed of it. How pathetic.

I used to think he was inferior to other fathers in everything and could not give me anything. Later I found out that he had already given me everything he had.

In the exam, other parents encourage their children to get the first place, but he said to me, "Just do your best. It doesn't matter if you come last. "

When he did something wrong, other parents would scold him, but he said to me, "It's all right. If you don't tell lies, you're still a good boy. "

When I was sad, other parents would buy food and play to comfort their children, but he insisted on playing games with me and telling jokes to make me happy.

He was not a child who grew up being loved by his parents, but when he became a father, he gave me all the love he could think of.

On New Year's Eve last year, he drank a little.

"You don't seem to talk as much as you did when you were a child. "

I gave no answer.

He's right. I don't talk as much as I used to. Come to think of it, I haven't had a good conversation with him in years.

I didn't ask him for advice when I was looking for a job;

Fall in love, did not take the initiative to tell him;

Even when money is not enough, they will not ask him for it, but borrow some money from their friends.

It's like when you grow up, you lose touch with your family.

Just two polite phone calls a month to say hello, half an hour to end all topics, the conversation is always good news, not bad news.

Every time, before hanging up the phone, he would say symbolically, "Take good care of your health while you are out. Don't work too hard. Come back when you are tired. "

I always reply perfunctory, "Ok, ok, take care of yourself, don't worry about me. "

After hanging up the phone, I chatted with my friends all night long.

And he was wondering what else he could do to help me.

He often said that he was a worthless person, no education will only do physical work;

But even so, he taught me to be a better man.

He never praises me or shows me off to my face;

But his workmates said he had an excellent and sensible daughter.

His brain is stupid and slow, so he can do nothing on wechat except send voice messages.

Even so, he kept learning new things and trying to fit in.

He never said he loved me, or even missed me;

But every time I call him, he's smiling from ear to ear.

It was as if he did everything without saying anything.

I found out about it late, but it wasn't too late.

On Father's Day, I want to say "SORRY" and "thank you" to my dad from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you for being my dad.