News of my deserting the internet has been greatly exaggerated.
-Jazzy
In fact, I have decided to embrace the whole gambit of the internet and its ability to connect us entirely. This is not without cost to my morals, which I have had to rewrite in light of my newest conquests. I was very against cataloging my life and having it on the web for all to see. However, as very wise many told me, publishing a book is not the hard part; marketing it is. Therefore, I have had to redirect myself and allow myself the possibility that social media and the internet are actually something that can be used for good. (You may remember that I deleted all my social media because I was worried about being stalked by a vindictive ex. However, it has been some time, and I have decided not to live in fear anymore to block this person.)
I have had a blast getting to know Instagram again and learning how to use the features. I felt I had been missing an old friend who welcomed me with arms wide. I connected with many of you there and even had Donna repost my selfie while drinking coffee. This is the reason social media was created. We are meant to connect; that is what humans have that differs from animals (not all animals. There are some social types like us). However, that is what has set us apart as the apex predator: we can communicate, connect, and work together.
Humanity is beautiful, and I had lost sight of that; I was living in fear, but it can pull you in repeatedly...if you let it.
This has made all the difference in my mindset. I was looking for confirmation bias that the world was scary and that people didn't care, and the truth is, many of us care so much. I have received more love and kind words regarding my writing here on the platform than in real life, so with a humble heart, I thank you.
I will release my ambition to the world again, so I apologize. I thought it was uncouth to be so young and ambitious. How dare I want to write books, have a podcast, and enjoy sharing my poetry. How dare I think I have something the world wants to see? The answer is, I don't know if the world wants to see it, but dammit, I am going to do it anyways.
(I recently connected with a friend from the past; she was so happy to hear I published my book and stated fondly, "I always remember you writing." This was a cathartic moment for me to say, Jazzy, you are a writer.)
You will be tired of me telling you what I want to accomplish and seeing that something I try to do may only sometimes happen. That is why I want to thank all of you for being with me on the journey. You have been there and given me the heart and validation I crave, but more so, I have been given the gift of knowing I have community. I am happy with what we can accomplish together: our stories, books, podcasts, and websites. I want to ask you for more. Please continue to listen and engage; if you have ideas, I want to hear them. I humbly offer to catch up on reading and commenting back and once again join the fray if Vocal will have me. (Of course, my health will still be a priority, so I may have to limit my time, but that is better than giving up, I digress.) If you have something you want to do and need help, I'm here in whatever way I can show up. And finally, once again, thank you.
About the Creator
Jazzy
Follow on IG @booksbyjaz
Head of the Jazzy Writers Association (JWA) in partnership with the Vocal HWA chapter.
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More stories from Jazzy and writers in Confessions and other communities.
Happy Birthday to me
Today is my birthday! Reflecting on my last year and all the years that brought me here is a trip! Day 3 reflection I mostly knew chocolate in the form of candy bars and syrups commercially. I remember learning about the Aztecs and how they drank chocolate every day, with chiles, and thinking that it sounded like heaven. Of course, their chocolate must have been so rich and complex, while ours is refined and overly processed. I remember my first sip of ceremonial cacao and it being a bit bitter and adding so much sugar (I am sad to admit!) In later years, I'd grow to like the bitter taste of pure dark chocolate, and I haven't returned to ceremonial cacao. As I await my shipment from Ora, I am so excited to try this drink once again. To deepen my understanding of the flavors and profiles in cacao, I had the most alarming understanding today… there is chocolate in quite a bit I eat, and I haven't eradicated it all just yet. So, while I continue this process, I will slowly remove those chocolates I had not realized were only adding to the problem of destroying the cacao industry! Being more intentional about what we consume is essential, and this has only solidified that idea for me.
By Jazzy 6 months ago in Confessions
No Plus One
It's nearly one AM and I just got back from my third wedding of the four in this last month alone, and I have always been alone. I hide behind my camera to pretend to be useful, hide behind a safety net of skill set. So I do not have to confront the loneliness that is sleeping alone when everyone else seems to have a partner to crawl into bed with. I love the time spent with those who decided I was worth the 30-plus dollars per plate they decided to spend on me, and I do not need to have a partner on these occasions, but it would be nice to have someone notice, me. See when I am in the corner because they know I need time to recharge and to kiss me on the head until the time has come to leave. Maybe that's the problem about being a professional storyteller, I dream of something that isn't meant for me.
By Rilee Arey7 days ago in Confessions
I am not enough
That morning was encrusted and sprinkled with snow, slippery slopes on which I was able to trundle , giggle and count my blessing , as my childhood has never been bored to tears , malicious or glum . The sun was jutting out of the wholly-latent clouds , its rays were gleaming on my puerile , young and always-smiling face . Parents have been toiling around the car , as it did not ignite and I was already late for my school . By the way , I have always been the most punctual , work-obsessed and hard-working girl , who had incessant , insatiable hunger for learning new thing by rote , bizarre concepts , zapping my classmates by using my intelligence and standing as the best apprentice . My teachers were always showering praise on me , as from my infancy the desire for learning foreign languages and reading as many as possible books has aroused on the surface and has never left its place . Also , I was orthodox person , who was going on pilgrimage quite frequently and professing the love which God is giving us unconditionally . Acclaim was swirling from even singe corner , from my teachers , grandparents , parents , some mates and me. Yes , I was still praising myself until one day which has revolved my world , halted my visions and left my annihilated and decimated . Just crawl and trawl in my own adversities and tears . My parents have found the solution and we have finally hit the road , nonetheless hectic and nauseous skidding was making my stomach turn .And this day has approached me . Not another quintessential day . Evocative and vengeful .
By VerboseThinker5 days ago in Confessions
Comments (6)
This is a great piece! I can totally relate to taking time off to deal with health/personal things and some of the feelings that accompany coming back. One of my favourite parts of this piece is, "I was looking for confirmation bias that the world was scary and that people didn't care, and the truth is, many of us care so much." I'm excited to read more from you this year. Thank you for writing and sharing this!
Welcome back! Just do what you need to do to be safe and sane! 🤍
I’m glad you are back 🥰 definitely keep prioritizing your health, we want you here— but we want you happy/healthy even more! ❤️
Congratulations again on your book! Also, you're always welcome here! Only read what you want to, only when you have time and only if your health permits you to. We love ya Jazzy! 🥰🥰🥰
I'm very happy to see such positivity. Welcome back and congratulations on publishing the book, which is currently in my cart for my great granddaughter. It's interesting that you had doubts about publishing so young. I'm about to test the waters, wondering how a dinosaur will fare out there, also thanks to the support of this community. We'll see.
Welcome back Jazzy.