The Fruits of Revenge

It's taken me a lot to get here today. I don't like to go out much anymore. I know that my wife worries but it's a struggle that is all my own.

I had to come here today though and witness this.

I suppose in some ways I'm lucky because I can still function. I can still use my hands although there's some scarring from where I automatically tried to shield my eyes.

I miss my face.

I replay the events of that day over and over. What sort of a person has such hatred in them that they choose to destroy someone else? Because I have been destroyed. I'm still living and I can still do things: work, travel, visit the theatre. But now, I can't do that incognito. I don't blend; I'm a sore.

I watched a programme about Hawaii the other night. Stretches of land where the Earth has spewed its magma, oozing its molten mass over Nature's bountiful fecundity and scorching it to a ruin. A lumpy, misshapen landscape, distorted and altered beyond recognition. Liquid made solid.

That's me, after the acid attack.

My wife has stayed but I see her searching sometimes when I'm not looking directly at her. Her face shows sympathy, sadness and something else, that I can't quite identify. Wistfulness? Loss? If I turn, the mask of tact and compassion comes down like a shop shutter. She misses me, the person I was. I know, this body, this face is just a shell, and she tells me that but I know it's not the same.

He missed my eyes but on dark days, I wish he hadn't. Seeing life's reality hurts.

And now, I'm about to confront my attacker. I understand it was a case of mistaken identity, that there was no intended malice to me.

He looks so ordinary, this wrecker of lives. Sullen and scruffy, sat there in the dock. He's looked over at me and I see him grimacing, not with shame but because he doesn't like what he sees. He's repelled. I know exactly how he feels.

Looking at him, I understand more how that hatred to destroy can brew.

I'm feeling it now.

***

366 words

This links to, but can be read independently of, Revenge. Same event, different perspective.

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please do leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.

152/366