Gayatri's journey of finding herself back.

Growing up in an unstable family as the eldest sibling was not really an easy task. Gayatri barely remembers herself enjoying her childhood in the chaos.

She grew up with her grandparents and 3 siblings in a small town.

At the age of being loved by her parents, she has to become a second mother and fulfilled all the duties towards her siblings.

She was a brilliant and over-sensitive person. Things can easily offend her but she always feels and understand others way more than she can understand herself.

Everything was going smoothly in her life, but after a few years, her parents got together which was really strange because she has never spent time together with both of her parents at the same time.

She did not understand what was really happening in her life, she even tried to run away from home but there was no place to hide.

After being brainwashed by others about her parents leaving her alone and not loving her enough, she did not want to be with them anymore.

However, things get better and all of the misunderstandings between them get resolved.

She was fully focused on her study and was scoring good scores.

As her parents began to live together, she finally started to get familiar with it.

However, her relationship with her friends started getting worse.

All of a sudden, most of her friends started ganging up on her and making her feel left out.

Things were never easy in her life. She never experiences a normal life with normal parents and friends.

When she was a child to her early teen phase, she was a very outgoing extrovert girl with lots of friends.

She enjoys dancing, talking with people, and traveling but due to so many incidents in her life, she completely changed into a shy and introverted girl.

She barely has 2 or 3 friends with whom she talks, and most of the time she spends time alone.

On top of that her parents again broke up after a massive fight. She was just overcoming other incidents in her then again new ones appear from nowhere.

She also faced bullying and manipulation which changed her then she started blaming herself for every wrong thing that happened to her.

Anyway, she has one thing in her heart is that no one really loves her and the only thing she needs to do is study hard which will help her to become independent.

We can see how childhood trauma and lack of confidence can change people's mindsets.

It seems like the world's cruelty makes her cold from the inside but there is still an act of kindness and love in her heart for others which is why she obeys her grandmother and agrees to take 1 week of spiritual class.

After finding god and herself, a plethora of positive changes developed in her.

Moreover, with self-improvement and daily habit of prayers, she finally attracted good people in her life who support her, guide her, and always give her a feeling of family.

After so many incidents one thing she learns is that there is no one responsible for our happiness and success but ourselves.

She accepts and forgives all of the bad incidents. She moved on with her life in a good way.

The one piece of advice from GAYATRI,

In life, there will be many ups and down but the one who remains happy and enjoys this journey is the one who knows how to channel the negative emotion into positive emotion rather than ignoring negative emotion completely.

For instance, I have an anger issue and many insecurities. Before getting into a spiritual world I used to think these emotions are wrong and that experiencing these emotions can be a sign of a bad person but I was wrong.

See these negative emotions are not always bad, you can channel anger into motivation and improve yourself. Just like how a guy goes to the gym after a breakup rather than destroying his ex-life.

I hope this was helpful to you and you found something worthwhile from it.

Hare Krishna.