First Date Disaster

Start   Ok, so this might be the single most embarassing thing, any 16 year old girl could ever encounter. If not the funniest!!

Get ready to laugh audience, because this story is burned into my memory, for the rest of my natural-born life! It also helped my daughter get past her own fear of that dreaded "first date".

As if being sixteen wasn't ackward enough, I was not much for dating at this tender age, but I agreed to go out on a date with one of my mothers friends son. I was not really attracted to this guy, who was just a year older, than I was the year of 1986. But I promised my mother, who obviously thought we would be a good match that I would go. And, had I not ruined the romantic vibe that this guy was trying to convey, maybe her assessment would have been somewhat true. But not after the evening was finished. Thats for sure!

Paul was his name if I recall correctly. He was a hard working 17 year old who owned his own metallic green Ford F150 truck, not a brand new truck, but nice enough, clean enough and as a bonus, he was attending a neighboring high school, not my high school  (by some small miracle) 😇.

He asked me if I would like to take a ride out to Clackamette Park, and drink a six pack of beer on this certain rock, only accessible by foot, which we would have to wade through to reach. From there we could sit on this special rock, hang the beer into the icy cold Clackamas River from a bush that grew above the waterline natually, and just sit out for awhile. I agreed. Though I wasnt much for drinking underage, I was also too self concious to say no, in fear of feeling too childish, too immature, or just feared he would think I was too square! All went well for us that evening in the mid-summer of 1986, as we parked the truck and proceeded to follow the shallow water, wading shin deep, with me in my flip flops... as the water got deeper, my flip flops met the resistance of the rapidly moving water, and I kept slipping on the rocks. About half way to the rock he was referring to, I stepped down onto a slick rock, and slipped. What happened next, would resound in my memory, like an uncomfortable embarrassing nightmare! In my attempt to not fall into the river, and to correct my footing...A loud fart slipped out!! I did not know what to say next, but I think "excuse me" passed my lips, I could tell he was holding back a fit of laughter. But he acted like he heard nothing! And this would have been ok and less embarassing, had another one not passed my ass right behind it!! This time I said aloud "I think the beans did not sit well, from dinner tonight!" And he howled in laughter, this time not holding back in any way. It all but killed his attempt at a romatic evening, made the rest of the hot evening as cold as that icy river!!

It did not stop him from trying to make out with me, but I just could not get past the passing of those farts! I had him take me home early, and when I told my bff and my sister, they too could not stop laughing...and from then on, my new nickname became "Fart Blossom" for awhile. I was not impressed... Thankfully, I was able to blackmail my older sister of two years, into keeping that one out of the gossip column that month at school. And when I told my daughter that story when she had her own dating disaster, in recent years... she was grateful I shared my most embarassing date moment with her, she seemed relieved not to be like me, on her own dating epic fail