Early Morning shopping

Well quite a few years ago, I had an interesting morning. Thankfully time has softened the mental anguish. I was up at the usual hour getting ready for work. It was a warm summer morning, and after my normal routine, which included brushing my teeth ( this point becomes important a little bit later) I headed out.

I have always left for work rather early, as the drive is a long one, and I prefer some coffee time before starting my work day. This particular morning I needed some lunch supplies, so on my way I stopped at my local grocery store.

At this early hour, the store was mine. Gathering up my few things, I headed back up front to check out.

This is where things started to get weird.

Now I must say, not that I usually complement myself on my appearance, but I’m an ok looking guy with a genuine smile and friendly demeanor. So when I saw an attractive, well dressed woman headed my way, I did what I have always done. I smiled and said “good morning”.

Ok maybe after all these years I’ve embellished it somewhat, but let me tell you, the look on her face was one of pure disgust! How dare I say anything to her, let alone smile? Jeeez, you’d think I had two heads or something!

Wow! What a way to deflate somebody‘s ego! But shaking my head I continued to the checkout counter. I even glanced back once, thinking to myself that she must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed or something.

What transpired next just added to the mystery.

I have to add something here to clarify, I must have been totally oblivious this particular morning, my brain on autopilot. It is my only excuse. Perhaps the lack of coffee was a contributing factor.

I placed my items on the belt and greeted the young man working the early shift in my usual friendly manner. He mumbled something in return, and quickly looking down, scanned my few purchases. He seemed rather uncomfortable, glancing up at me and looking away, again and again. Like I said earlier, I just wasn’t getting it. I paid the kid, and saying “thank you have a nice day”, I left the store.

The sun was just starting to come up as I exited the store, so putting all this weirdness behind me, I again began to feel like my usual happy self.

Getting in my car I buckled up and started the engine. I glanced in the rear view mirror to begin backing out, and that’s the moment everything fell into place! It was as if someone had put a magnifying glass in front of me. There in the mirror as big as a donut was a cheerio! A huge Honey Nut Cheerio stuck in my mustache!

I believe at this point I literally groaned out loud! How could I not have noticed? I felt myself shrinking down into my seat as the offending cheerio, in my embarrassed mind grew in size. Finally, I pulled it from my mustache. How, on God’s green earth could I have missed it when I was brushing my teeth?!

As I drove away I imagined the stories already being told by the two people who were witness to my cringing embarrassment. Hopefully they were getting a good laugh from the whole episode. Even better yet, dealing with their own life’s many problems, it had already passed from their consciousness.

Needless to say I have learned the hard way to look a little better before heading out.