Dark Armor

If you use blackmail against somebody, it can be used for your own form protection. Eventually being a sort of proverbial armor. However, since the armor was composed of dark secrets the chainmail that it’s composed of can be considered to be blackmail.

The dark armor is not always going to be protective against you. Sometimes just holding onto blackmail adorns you with a burdening blackmail. The armor weighing you down, and believing that if you were to step outside of it that you would be completely vulnerable.

What this does to you in a sense is that it makes you a prisoner of the armor that you wear. Now I get that it seems unfair, but armor comes with a cost for its adornment, being that of your stamina away it’ll drain and wear.

You’re not as agile, as fast or as flexible as you’d wish to be. Holding onto it burdens you and limits your possibilities.

It’ll wear on your body, and even skeletal structure. Just by wearing it for too long, you’ll form lesions and blisters that’ll rupture. It’s a pain to deal with and it’s also considered to be a weird form of immunity. Sure, you may have worn it for protection, but the longer you have it, the longer you wear it, the more stress you put yourself under that makes you weaker inside (your immune system and you inside the chainmail, yes) than the outside.

Sure, the armor can do damage to the enemy while protecting yourself. Like the man who wore a spike suit of armor when he fought the Lambton Worm. Yet, though the armor may prevent you from being initially crushed, metal is not like bone. Once bent it cannot heal itself. The body can reconstitute itself to a certain degree. Bones are vascular, they can heal.

Holding onto blackmail does not make you as powerful and as free as you would like to believe. Having blackmail constructs a different prison for yourself. You may come to realize that you may need it more often than it needs you. Whether it’s abstract or concrete proof of evidence you hold up to keep others at bay, the blackmail will hurt you only to sap your strength away.

If one were to have an ace card that they always play, that they always rely on, like the rest of their life, their deck is unbalanced. The ace card can only exist when proper conditions are met for it to be used. However, if the deck is not balanced to survive with or without the ace, the deck itself falls apart. The ace card is not the cornerstone of the deck, nor is it to be a pillar. The pillar and cornerstone of the deck, just like one’s life, is oneself. If you always rely upon the dark armor to protect yourself, you’ll never truly learn to play the game of life without it.

Always relying upon the dark armor, the blackmail that is forged and born from the blackmail, does not help you to learn to fend for yourself. It will even prevent you from forging bonds with others. If you display such a set of armor forged from the secrets of others, what will happen if they allow you to come too close as well? Will you display their secrets as armor, or will you don it when they wish to address sensitive matters with you? If you’re afraid of connection, if you’re afraid that somebody else will don dark armor of chainmail made from blackmail about you, then you’ll only prevent yourself from attaining the true connection you desire.

Dark armor, blackmail, not a double edged sword, but a self-restricting prison that may protect you for a certain amount of time, but it will also close you off from the world itself. What was meant to protect you from the danger of the world, will now protect the world from the danger that you present it. By limiting yourself, you are not free, but you become ensnared within your own confines. You limit your strength, your ability to move on, your ability to walk away, and you limit yourself from growing beyond the confines that you have allowed to place upon you.

If the mail was given to you, why not return it to the sender? This way you can return to your life as you please.