Troubling Waters

I had written a about a dream where there were flooding waters. I had written about a dream where I had paddled myself upstream from the ocean into a river. I had written about a dream where tadpoles were as colorful as they were plentiful. I had written about a dream where as fast as the water had entered, it had left. I had written about a dream where horses drew carriages in wooden cottage towns. Now I write about a dream where I learn to practice a lesson where waters trouble me, but do not disturb my state of mind. Where ever there are waters, there will be trouble with keeping my head afloat. Yet, whenever there is water, I learn how to tread in another way.

When you swim there are different strokes which you can perform. The backstroke helps to conserve energy, and keeps most of your body buoyant above the water's surface, allowing you to breathe easily. The free-style stroke is the most common for speed and endurance. It will help you get from point-to-point, from coast-to-coast, with relative ease. As this stroke incorporates the body's full length and use of its limbs. The butterfly stroke is the most energy taxing. Yet, it builds endurance and muscle alike. The discipline from mastering such bodily control in rhythm with one's breathing is vital in all, but ever present in one that is so draining.

Less I digress, in this dream there was flooding. In this dream a lesson stuck out clear to me. In this dream, I had gone home. I had been talking with my parents. It seemed that it was in anticipation for the upcoming events.

My parents had told me that, "People of this higher caliber know how and when to ask for help. You need to learn to ask for help." This was a lesson that had stuck with me, especially in my later years of my higher education. Learning to ask for help is important. It teaches you to shove your pride to the side, and learn how to rely upon others. For no man is an island unto himself. Upon coming together can we achieve greater things, in a much quicker timeline, than one person would generally be able to achieve on one's own. By learning to ask for help, you help to make yourself strong where you are deficient. You also practice having others rely upon you, by reaching out for help, instead of allowing things to build up towards catastrophic events with which there may be no return.

I had left home. On the road again, yet this time I was driving a vehicle that was not of my own, but that has been with me for a majority of lifespan. For the vehicle I was driving was my father's pickup truck. High off the ground, a clear view in front of me, the hum of the motor being calmingly familiar to my senses as it felt its power with just a tap of the gas pedal; this was the familiar sense of safety, calmness, of no anxiety. Being the first vehicle that I learned to drive it was like riding a bicycle. I could never forget the simplicity of just turning the key and going, nor the freedom of having family and friends along with me as we went about different adventures, and the truck being the vessel for those adventures to start. It was nostalgic. There was always a sense of calm with a lack of worry, not out of ignorance, but out of respect for the nature and power of the truck.

Steering wheel, gas pedal, brake; this is what I used for control. Mirrors, turn signals, windshield wipers; this is what I used to help clear my perception to guide the way. Engine, transmission, fuel; this is what helped to direct the energy to where I wanted to go, how I wanted to go there, and why I wanted to go there. Even with a limited amount of control with which to properly guide this mechanical beast, I was at ease. This was not the calm before the storm, but the calmness needed to deal with the storm's aftermath.

As I was driving down a familiar road, it changed. I had veered off from a two lane road, onto a single lane road. The storm had left several inches of water on the ground. The truck had pushed through foliage, but had hydroplaned and spun. Now turned around, I was driving backwards.

I dare not stop for fear of losing balance. I dare not hit the brakes for the sudden stop of inertia. I moved my foot from off the gas gently, allowing the metal beast to wind down, to come to a natural stop. The most concerning part, was how the landscape had changed entirely.

I could see the other road, the one with two lanes. The one which I had driven both up and down numerous times. The roads, the single and the double, were separated. The roads were separated by a great chasm that had been filled with a basin of water. Clear on top like glass, soft and flat. Not even the mass of the truck had sent troubling waves. Yet, the roads were surrounded by both sides with water. A giant, clear top lake was which I was in.

My parents, and the words of a spiritual man who I worked with echoed to me, "You need to learn to ask for help." The truck had started to fall off to one side, then the other. I struggled to keep control, but I was not panicked. I was calm. Even in this dream I had remembered that my mother had told me that water can mean trouble. Trouble that can be arising. Trouble that you can put yourself into. When you encounter trouble such as this, you learn how to tread. How to keep your head above water. How to keep your head above the waves. How to hold yourself up, and above all, how to not panic by learning to remain calm.

"You need to learn to ask for help." My memories flashed back to when I was in school. I remembered how I struggled when I didn't ask for help. I remembered about how I didn't know how to ask for help. I remembered about when I did ask for help, and how they helped me even with tasks that I didn't realize that I needed help with. I remembered my ignorance, but also the veil that was lifted when I learned how to ask for help, and how to do so properly.

"You need to learn to ask for help." I remembered my times when I was at work. I remembered all of my previous jobs, positions, and fields. I remembered the results that sprung up from my inability to ask, the failure which I began to yield. I remembered about when I would ask for help immediately. I wasn't needy. They were not seething. They were overjoyed. They learned to rely on my supervision. They learned to rely upon my honesty. They learned to rely upon my actions, and the tasks they would assign to me. Upon which I had earned the privilege of them giving such important responsibility.

"You need to learn to ask for help." The truck was falling over, and I was over to one side and out the door. There was nobody else around me. So, I took the initiative, and I hung the truck by its mirror, I hung it upon the road's shelf. This was the initiative I took, that I had done to help myself.

"You need to learn to ask for help." The water was not cold, nor was it warm. For I did not fret, even my clothes did not feel wet. This water, this lake, was entirely fresh. So either I was strong, or the water was dense. When I lifted the truck I did so with ease. As I had lifted it within the water, and I could push it around as I please.

"You need to learn to ask for help." I had turned around. This wasn't a road. It was a driveway leading up to a person's house. The person's house had connected to the main road as well. Upon walking to their house, traversing across their driveway, I walked onto the two lane highway.

To the west was a canopy of trees from where I had exited, and from where I would have stayed on for the main road. To the east the road continued off beyond the horizon. The north and the south displayed a light blue mountain range that had surrounded the entire basin. The mountains were so far away they were but a blue blur that were barely separable from the sky overhead. From both sides of the blacktop was a strip of grass. A few reeds stood above the water. I was sloshing around up to my calves.

I looked back at the truck, it remained hanging on just its mirror. I had my skateboard in my hands, but I knew it would be of no use to me here, except for bartering. If I were to place the skateboard down it would float, but I wouldn't have any control of direction or propulsion.

"You need to learn to ask for help." Their three voices echoed in my head, but it seemed that they also echoed across the water. As a gust of wind had blown across the lake, sending small ripples. As fast as the ripples had shown, they had easily dissipated.

The Glass Lake, at first glance, one would think it to be a salt flat. However, their misconception would be dashed completely upon sinking into the water. Blessed be those who remained upon the road, for they did not have to swim. Blessed be those who remained up the road, for they could find refuge from whence they came. Blessed be those who remained upon the road, for the waters though clear, turn dark the deeper you go down into the abyss. Blessed be those who remain upon the road, for not even I know of what dwells in this lake. I have had numerous dreams of lakes and massive bodies of water, and seas so salty that they leave a fine layer of crust of your skin, but even I did not know what lived here, if anything lived here at all. The surface of The Glass Lake was calm. A lesson I had learned was, "Do not worry about what you can see above the surface of the water. It is what you do not see below that should be of concern."

My mother had told me that when there is water, there is trouble. When the water is turbulent with you in it, you are in the brew of trouble. If you are above the water, there is trouble around you, if not beneath you. I had managed to climb myself out of the trouble.

"You need to learn to ask for help." I turned around, skateboard in hand, representing my childlike days of youth and vigor, and walked up to the house. I knocked on the door. A portly gentleman answered. He allowed me to enter his domicile. I remember him having a small dog. His tail wagged, and he barked affably upon my entrance. Yet, something was off.

There was a small green crocodile. It was not an alligator. Its snout was pointier, and it was not as blue as an alligator. It chased me, it followed me, it continued to try to bite me, nip at me, and rip me limb from limb. This crocodile was smaller than a medium sized dog, but I dare not mess with its jaws. I was born with ten fingers and toes. I aim to keep them.

The small blonde dog, though happy to have me, stayed away from the crocodile. Upon a small staircase did he stand, yelling at the pursuing attacker. It seemed that this man was afflicted with the same problem. However, since I was new, it seemed that I was the most likely target. The man stood atop his reclining chair. I walked around the living room, putting furniture between me and my reptilian assailant.

Upon being aggravated by this pestering beast, I decided that I had enough of this. Grabbing a wooden table that had four raised walls, I slammed it down upon its head with a sickening crunch. It crushed through the top half of its skull, but I could still feel it trying to lurch for me. Its jaws was near my feet. Even with the damage I've delivered to it, I was still warry about the potential harm it could cause to me.

"You need to learn to ask for help." After having tried to keep it at bay, and even applying more pressure onto the table's legs, I knew that all I needed was a little bit of extra strength. All I needed was an extra hand. Having handled the main deal, I asked the man to please assist me. He walked over, and without even lifting a finger, he sat on one of the table's legs. With a final crunch more satisfying than eating the first potato chip from a new bag, it ceased to move no more.

I cannot say where it came from. "Did it come from the Glass Lake?" Sure, there were a few water plants that I saw along with the tall grass, but nothing that reminded me of the everglades of America or Egypt's Nile. Yet, I do remember that a lot of people tend to add problems to their lives and justify reasons for doing so. Whether its people, money, property, or politics, I've come to learn that others like to add problems to their lives, and justify reasons for doing so. Reflecting upon it as the sun does on Glass Lake, I had asked myself, "What problems do I invite in my life, and justify for doing so?"

The man had given me many thanks as I had given him. As I had walked out his door to go home, but instead of being greeted by the Glass Lake, I had walked down the steps and into the city of where I had achieved my education. Albeit the landscape in my mind was drastically different from that of the actual city, my heart always knew when and where I was at any given time. "Even if you seem lost in your own head, learning to follow your heart is key."

I didn't walk, or at least I can't recall walking. It seemed that there was an entire view that looked over all of the city. As if it were something to be seen from the seat of a helicopter, or a movie's camera that would pan the setting in the early morning hours as the suns rays stretched over each building, touching the bricks with its thousands of fingers. From where I had left, the view, or the looking glass through which my mind's eye saw had focused in on a building. Closing in on the brick and mortar building, I had found myself again, coming to peace with the travails of the day, peering in through the looking glass that was my apartment.

I was in comfort. Lying down, with my head upon the lap of a woman, her feet tucked beneath her as her knees lifted my shoulders from the bed. Her red hair hung from her face, showing but a few freckles from her cheeks. As her fingers tapped my face, releasing pockets of stress from my cheeks, temple, and nose, she put me to sleep with a trill of burbles as if she were speaking the language of fish. Smiling, softly giggling, she leaned in as we touched nose-to-nose. We closed eyes, and as she put me to sleep in that world, I arose in this one.

Whom was she? Even I cannot give you an exact answer. For there seemed to be a few women like her that have brought me such comfort before, but her, if anybody, I would have to say that she was an amalgamation, a conglomerate, to be a muse of those women put together. For she was a muse that helped to remove the stress from me, but only did she do so once I solved my problems. I did not go back the way I came. I confronted my problems by confronting myself. This allowed me to move forward, as I come to peace with my errors of the past.

Upon waking up my face still felt her warmth, her smile, and the tappings of her fingers upon my cheeks. Stirring from my bed I arose. Facing myself in the bathroom mirror I heard their voices echoing within my head, "You need to learn to ask for help."

Eating breakfast, showering, getting dressed, and packing my meal before leaving my place of rest, I prepared for the day. Exiting, I told myself, "I will continue to grow more and more, as I ask for help."