Biggest Strikeout Ever

Biggest Strikeout Ever

T Marin and I had decided to go to the cabin for the parents were staying home and we felt we needed a few nights of peace and relaxation. Now if you’ve been reading any of my posts neither of us did peace or relaxation very well, it had been snowing in Big Bear for the last week or so and the drive would be long and arduous.

After about three hours and a few stops we made it to Idiots Nirvana on a Friday afternoon, we carried loads of wood upstairs and loaded the fireplace. We got a blazing fire going and we’re officially bored, so naturally we started drinking. I was twenty two and T was twenty one so all was legal, so far.

After a few too many beers T suggested we should check out Snow Summit, a band was playing in the lodge and it could be a target rich environment. We took showers and got dressed and made sure the cabin was tidy, not clean, just tidy, just in case we got lucky.

We were sober enough to drive so naturally we had a few more beers, liquid courage for our adventure. Beers were pricey at the lodge so we figured on loading up before we got there. I took one last look in the mirror and thought I looked more than presentable, T Martin the same.

I was feeling a bit poppy that night and wagering T who would be the first to score a chick, he wouldn’t take the bet, but boy should he have. When we finally got there, probably a five minute drive, and found a place to park, the place was jumping like a room full of frogs on a hot plate.

The lodge was two stories and there were ladies everywhere, we were in wonderland and took a few minutes to acclimate to our surroundings. T Martin went upstairs to the long L shaped bar and ordered two beers. He came back like a scout on a mission. “The bar is packed with primo chicks”, he reported, and I took that as a challenge.

He walked me to the middle of the floor downstairs and pointed to the bevy of beauties. I took a drink of the beer and we found a table. The dance floor was across the room and we counted the young ladies perched at the bar. “Eighteen T”, I exclaimed, “it’s going to be a good night”. Little did I know.

I took one more drink of liquid courage and set my sights on a brunette at the far left end of the bar. T Martin kept the table and I headed upstairs, I was bound and determined to find a few young ladies to fill the empty seats at our table, I think T was even licking his chops in anticipation.

I now had enough liquid courage in me to charge any stronghold by myself and as the dance music heated up I headed up. I strolled casually, probably wobbly by now, and approached the first target. She looked sweet and innocent so my plan was just to introduce myself and ask her to dance. I smiled, looking her in the eye and got my first “not interested”.

There were at least seventeen more targets so I moved one barstool over and asked a delicious looking blonde, she just laughed and told me to fuck off with her eyes. I wasn’t going to be denied as I wanted to dance, horizontally if possible, but on my feet would suffice. The parade had began and I was to lead sans baton, I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Unfortunately I took sixteen more “I don’t think so, flat out no thanks and beat it bum” before I headed back down, beat up but not yet defeated.

T Martin had watched my ordeal and was grinning like a Cheshire Cat and laughing like a hyena. “Good job G Dolan, way to swing and miss” he was laughing his ass off. I set down and poured some more courage down my throat. “I should have taken that bet”, he roared.

“Just fired a warning shot T, softened them up, you’re turn”, now he burst out laughing. “No fucking way, they watched you stumble down here and know I’m with you, I’ll pass”.

“Piss ant”, I muttered “I’m going back up”. He was laughing so hard he spit out his beer.

“Seriously dude, not a good call”.

“Fuck that T”, I stammered “I came, I saw, I will conquer”.

“Well good luck amigo”, he laughed, “ I’ll be here to pick up the pieces”.

“Fuck you”, I slurred and headed back up. Some of the faces had changed but every barstool held an opportunity and I was planning on not coming back empty handed. The second go round I felt much more tranquil, and started on the left again. A new brunette was sitting there and maybe she hadn’t seen me crash and burn the first time. I ran my hand through my hair, straightened my shirt and approached her. The dance had begun again and eighteen chairs later I came back to the table all by myself.

I felt miserable, like the biggest loser on the face of the planet but I knew old T would be there to cheer me up. “There’s some medical supplies in the Jeep, do I need to patch you up or are you done in “, he laughed hysterically. I flipped him the bird and he couldn’t stop laughing. “You got shot up G Dolan but I got to say that may have been the funniest thing I’ve ever seen”.

That was forty years ago and he still teases me to this day and who needs enemies with best friends like T.

Crack Egg Out