(addiction)

Social media addiction:

As I tried to create content and share content I became addicted to social media without even knowing it. The more I consumed the more addicted I was becoming and like quicksand the move I tried to control it the more I was sinking.

The daily use and creating content can get away from anyone of us. It happens and we are not even thinking about it. We see it in any waiting room or any line or even in cars at a red light or walking a dog down the street. Are default setting is now to be on our phones consuming content. I became sensitive to this as I was struggling with my usage. As I dive into the deep end of this subject I came to understan in my moments of bordem or loneliness, in my moments of sadness, in life’s painful triggers and in life’s difficult hurtles instagram was my escape without knowing it. From fun to moments of boredom it somehow turned to myself medication to escape my sorrows that got out of control and filled my void with digital dopamine reimbursed with an algorithm feeding me more addiction. What started as something fun turned into spending hours creating content for attention and love and when my work didn’t feel rewarded or felt undervalued, or less important compared to others it triggers feelings and I move to fill that void with consumed more content. I lost control and I would feel overwhelmed I couldn’t stop. When the feed caused even more anxiety, creating distress and becoming more overwhelmed it caused me to consume more to alleviate the unwanted sensation. Never thinking I was slowing becoming addictive. Not knowing anything till I started to learn more about what’s going on. I disliked that feeling and the feeling of shame came that accompanied with it and the feeling of duress and feelings of sinking anxiety. Every time I would try and take back control the sensation would come back stronger with defeat. It has been a battle so what would seem for most I’ve taken drastic measure and trying to go without it. It’s been over three months and it’s been a difficult process. Physically I went through a type of digital detox with an emotional exhaustion. I still don’t know if I am feeling less connected or more connected to the world. It’s a work in progress. It is a lot of work and I have moments I feel lost and I have moments of FOMO. I’m trying to be more present and working more on my body and my mind. Really delving into this world of how the body and mind are reacting with tech and the psychological side of it all. It definitely puts real world problems I have been avoiding in my face to deal with. So much so I have seeked professional help along this healing journey to help to open up and resolve some painful traumas that I have been carting around. To learn about some fundamentals of phycological actions of humans and how they relate to me. I’m learning and reading more on the subject. I’m trying to understand more about myself and how this technology affects us or how we can over use it.

I see a lot of content on social media detox and addiction to technology. I see a lot of people struggling with this and posting articles or YouTube vids. It seems to me we were handed these tools without really understand the possible negative effects how ever amazing the technology is. How much time we spend can grow for so many without knowing it and what it’s feeding us is the possible addiction to them. Their simple evolution into something more complex has an effect on us and we need programs for people to get help when they need it. If your struggling with any feelings of some type of addiction over some tech or social media tell a friend and seek professional help. In an eco system of things that are designed to keep our attention it’s okay to ask for help to gain control. The sooner you start to work on the problem the better you will feel about it. Understanding yourself and learning about any triggers you may have from your past is the best investment in yourself and it will make you beautiful and happy and help you navigate these tools.