The newest new beginning

After the problems at the last job my partner and I had some hopes but not too many. The last care home had left both physical and mental scars, along with bullying and with my partner a total mental breakdown.

As in care jobs everywhere partners or spouses shouldn't work together, the reasoning being if there was an incident. If the incident got to court the feeling was a couple might stick together and not say what fully happened. Though on numerous occasions the rule of not working together was final until it wasn't. Any staff shortages and rules got broken, in fact I was occasionally bribed to do overtime by being told I could work with my other half.

So in the job before we were usually on different floors, on this job it was adjacent buildings. I started first in the older building, designed for the more challenging and more mobile residents, all who had a form of dementia. The team I joined was almost all female, in fact a male carer has been unusual in most places I have worked.

The staff varied in age, shape and size. Seemingly getting more talkative the older they get, the 2 youngest being the quietist. We all had to work together at different times as some residents needed 2 staff to support them. The younger element were helpful when worked with but quiet otherwise, in fact one worked with her mum as another carer. The mother being much the louder and most outgoing, her daughter much more reserved.

Outside of work my partner was recovering and after a couple of months she was fit enough to work. She was typically hard working and was making friends quickly. I was also forming friendships with some in my building, with the nature of the work you had to get on to some extent.

The job could be unpleasant at times and was only suitable for a very small group of people. You had to deal with all body fluids , illness and ultimately death. You had to care but only enough so that residents dying didn't upset you to far.

We often came home each night to discuss who had died or who was close, a normal conversation with elderly care. Over time the relationship at home wasn't going so well. I had inherited two children along with my partner. They were their own people and although we sometimes got along often we didnt. This mixed with a number of other problems began to make me think I might not have the best deal.

While things at home were failing, work relationships were changing somewhat. I don't recall exact moments but the youngest and quietist became not so with drawn. We became generally more open and friendly, talking about our lives and loves. Even though we had a big age difference we shared experiences, knew we both deserved much better and somehow eventually we were what the other needed.

It was very slow and gradual, at least for a while. Laughing and gentle flirting was fairly normal when your a male among women. It never came to anything and helped to pass the time.

We met a couple of times out of work for some more advanced flirting and the relationship possiblites blossomed. I had thought my present relationship with someone seven years younger was quite impressive. I was now potentially starting something with someone 27 years younger. I was feeling flattered, surprised and caught up in the whirlwind all at once.

Things at home had begun to turn badly, even to violence and overdose. My partner thought something was going on but she had actually believed more then was actually true at the time. One evening she threatened to take an overdose if i went out to give my new friend a lift. I went anyway as needed out and didn't need to be controlled and guilt tripped.

I went out bleeding after she had try to stop me going, her kids were in the house and she overdosed. This was the second during our time together, the first because I went to the local pub to watch rugby. I had told her if she did anything so stupid again I would leave. She did and I did. I called family and in three car trips I moved all my furniture out while my soon to be ex was in hospital.

After giving the lift the night before and discovering the overdose I hadn't gone home. The furniture was moved the next day and i never went back. The last time I saw my ex was the night I left to take the lift as planned, it was also the night I moved in with my young friend.

It may have helped that her parents were on holiday but I needed an out. After what had become a horrible first marriage with a demanding wife and 2 kids I couldnt do it again. I was putting myself first finally and doing what I needed to do for myself first.

That episode was 7 1/2 years ago, my young friend became my young wife just over a year ago and all is good. There were doubters at first, some very loudly sharing their reasons it wouldnt or shouldnt work. Here we are now, happy together working quite nicely thank you. We have a few things going on around us, things we are sorting together. As a couple I believe we are getting stronger. I will get my wife's opinion after I have finished typing.

The obvious problem for many was the age difference, my reasoning was we were going well so age didn't matter. Also both my grandfather and great grandfather on my dads side dint live to see their fifties, so I wasn't going to waste something so promising just in case.

We can be silly together, serious together or as we are now sitting next to each other doing completely different things.

I went in to the new job with a partner, a house and 2 semi adopted kids. I left the job after 2 years with a much younger model, no kids and a differnt home. I didn't enter thinking about anything like this, after seeing the other staff there was no change. The prettiest were younger then my own kids, the ones my age had husbands and the rest were far to strange.

My wife has also said at first she didn't like me, she certainly didn't talk to me. Over time this changed to in love and married. You never know what you might find when your not looking.