Celebrating Love: Losing My Unapologetic Love and Focusing on My First Love

No more Skype calls, no more phone calls, no more text messages, no more I love you's, no more I wish I could hold you right now, none of that.

I miss the Skype calls, phone calls, text messages, I love you's, and him wishing he could hold me. I was alone. I walked away from him and went to focus on our first love. We had an instant connection. It was effortless yet so powerful. I dedicated the majority of my life to basketball. I don't even know precisely when or how you came into my life because it felt like you have always been a part of my life. Over the years, we became one. We were attached at the hip, no question about it. I was head over heels in love.

Basketball showed some of the most formidable love I've come to know. Every moment was unpredictable. I had no choice but to take the good with the bad - the wins with the losses. You kept me grounded and out of the streets. You made me somebody. More importantly, you gave a soft-spoken, little girl off the EastSide of Milwaukee, a voice that could speak to all.

In my freshman year of college, the game and I were tested to the maximum capacity. We almost broke up several times. I was excited to hoop at the college level, don't get me wrong, but it was like at what cost.

Where I'm from, if you went off to play college ball, you were considered "chosen" and labeled as you made it. Not knowing it's just a different struggle at a different level. Yes, I appreciated the opportunities, knowledge, and being with but again, at what cost. I was alone. I was isolated from the love that I've known, but I thought I was okay because I still had my first love. I still was able to wake up and play basketball daily. I got to pour all my sorrows, pains, struggles into my first love. I could always confide in my first love, and it seemed to make things okay.

But the Truth is, I had a hard time getting familiar with my environment. The first month I could not sleep. I had early morning workout, class and then practice six days a week and could not sleep. I was legit running on fumes. I wanted to go home.