Valentines? Smellentines!

Valentines is marketed as a holiday only for couples, something single people are supposed to loathe, but why? Why is it in our society being single is seen as an automatic death by loneliness endeavor. Yes it is totally okay to feel incredibly left out on Valentine's day, it is normal. But, loving yourself can feel so much more fulfilling. Part of loving yourself is understanding and coping with the deafening silence that is calling your name, “loneliness”. A great way to face that is with an Anti-Valentines day playlist. Everything Anti love and Anti mushy gushy. Personally, I love Valentines day. I love all of the hearts and pink. We all pretend for a bit that we are full of nothing but love. My music taste is pretty diverse, I enjoy songs with hard hitting lyrics and cool instrumentals. I believe music can be our outlets for any kind of complicated feelings we are feeling. My favorite way to listen to music is to blast it in the car and scream the lyrics that really embody the emotion I am struggling with. Music can be so important to me at times. It has helped me get through my toughest times. It has also helped me smile through my best times.

The first song I would say embodies this feeling is The Smiths, “How Soon is Now?”. When you hit play to this song you are met with a guitar reverb that echoes across your ears. This is infact one of my favorite effects that can be used in music, It sounds so cool and really tickles your brain. As you listen to this song we can hear Morissey, the lead singer, speak about his breakup and how much he is longing for the love of another. We hear the lyric “I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.” I feel that everyone can relate to this, we as humans are consistently striving for the love of another. But is it the love of another, Or is it the love of ourselves? Breakups can make us feel like the most unlovable creatures, that we do not deserve love if we cannot have another person. But loving yourself and your true self can fulfill that intense human desire for love. I feel this song belongs on an Anti Valentines playlist because it truly emulates the flame of desire we all have. “I am the sun and the air” Is another hard hitting lyric, this is about how we are all stardust. We all need to love, and it’s okay to only have yourself to love.

The next song on my Anti Valentines playlist is by The Cure. I personally love The Cure, I love their pitchy and reverbed vocals. I feel they talk about such sad subjects in very happy tunes. This song goes out to all the people who were told they should be “strong” or be the “bigger person”. The song, “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure really lights up the feelings of ignoring your emotions. I feel as single people we feel maybe we are overreacting about past relationships or maybe that we are bothering people with said emotions. The lyric: “I try to laugh about it Cover it all up with lies I try to laugh about it Hiding the tears in my eyes Cause boys don't cry Boys don't cry.” This really embodies the feeling of holding everything in till you feel like you're going to explode. Most of the time, we feel as if we are bothering people with our emotions. We forget that we cannot laugh without crying. It is the Yin and Yang of emotion. Sometimes we need to cry on Valentines Day because it is okay to be sad. I think this song could be an anthem for all the Valentines Day weepers.

Another Anti-Valentines Day song is “Fences” by Destroy Boys. This song is about a bad breakup, it is loud and proud. Are you not an emotional cryer? But possibly an emotional screamer? This is the song for you! Maybe you’re in the second stage of grief and really need to let off some steam. In this rock song we are met with the lyric: “I wanna scream, cut you up like you did me.” Who hasn't felt this way before? I feel we have all been wronged by someone we loved and all you want to do in that moment is get a sweet revenge. In the end we realize that behind the anger there is a lingering sadness that cannot be shaken off. That is emulated in the lyric: “You took the sunshine from the days, now I live in the shadows.” Loving someone with everything you have in you and having them just, leave, can leave you in the shadows. This Valentines day if you are left in the dirt by someone who wronged you, it’s okay to scream. It’s okay to live in the shadows because sunshine will come another day.

If you need something softer, something to cry to, Mitski’s “A Pearl” will leave you with tears rolling down your cheeks. This song speaks about the lows of a failing relationship. The lyric: “I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended.” Can really pull on the heart strings, this song can make you understand the complicated feelings of an over or ending relationship. Sometimes we just need to cry, this song will definitely help with that. Another lyric that hits home is “Sorry I can’t take your touch.” Have you ever loathed someone so much that every time they touched you it felt like glue was sticking to you? I feel like this lyric really shows that side of hateful love.

The next song is a Mitski Song as well. It is about being used and liking it. I feel like being single sometimes is because we get tired of being milked of every ounce and drip of love we can produce. “Washing Machine Heart” By Mitski really shows what it feels like to be okay with being used. “Baby will you kiss me already? Toss your shoes in my Washing Machine Heart baby bang it up inside.” She is so desperate for someone to love her she is willing to knowingly hurt her heart or them. Sometimes as single people Valentine's Day can pressure us to find someone to love, even if that means we will be used. I feel this song shows the dark side to being single.

This next song is a Dancing funky song. After you’re done crying and yelling you can dance your heart out to this jam. Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” will signify your loathing feelings towards V-day and also make you want to move your booty! Every emotion has a purpose, even if you have a “Heart of Glass” happiness is still necessary. So move that booty to this funky break up song!

These Six songs are sure to tap into the five stages of grief plus an extra! Anti-Valentines day can feel like a roller coaster of emotions. You feel jealous, angry, and also happy to maybe not be with whatever rude person hurt you. Regardless of what you’re feeling this Anti-Valentines day, music can be your wholesome therapy. So rock on!