The Timeline Reset Festival: A Reunion Tour To Save The World

Do you have a favorite band that doesn't exist? A favorite artist that only headlined on some animators' storyboards? Hey, no need to be ashamed- I've got several beloved bands who only exist in the fictional world. I've been dabbling in escapism a hell of a lot more frequently than I think I've done since middle school (and no wonder with this spectacle of a year, right?) and I'm suddenly yearning for nostalgic rushes to buoy my mood. Looking back at old shows, musing on memories and wishes, to have done and seen more than I had before the world would no longer be there in the way it used to be.

One of my greatest escapes this year (actually, probably the number one escape) has been music. I'm nearly always on Youtube listening to something be it old or new. I was thinking about the concert I had been so excited for that's been moved to 2021, God willing . . . and I suddenly had a thought. If I could choose my own personal lineup for a tour, what would it be? Without any limits, real or imagined . . .sure I had a couple of ideas for real life bands but erasing that limit suddenly made things much more fun! So using a fanciful blend of imagination and nostalgia, I created a fictional tour lineup of bands I would sell a kidney to see perform live even just once. Welcome . . . to the Timeline Reset Festival!

The Opening Acts

1. The Hex Girls

These eco-goth warriors are ready to put a spell on you, and fight for the Earth all in one song. Who could ever forget this wicked awesome trio and their Wiccan leader, who helped the Mystery gang deal with a forceful spirit and then put on an incredible concert performance? Thorn, Dusk, and Luna didn't just stop enchanting us when Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost ended, they were popular enough characters to make recurring appearances in various other episodes and another movie, serving new songs and a certain witchy flair that made it so easy to fall in love with them in the first place. They'll start off the lineup for this world-saving festival and hopefully offer us a little ritual to cleanse the most noxious vibes lingering from 2020.

2. Chip Skylark

With the high energy and positive atmosphere so carefully grown and tended to by the Hex Girls, our final opening act is going to bring the energy to a fever pitch by inducing a lot of millennial nostalgia, via his shiny teeth. Chip Skylark was THE musical act of the world, and a beloved favorite in Dimmsdale in The Fairly Odd Parents. A friend to Timmy Turner, he didn't hesitate to bring the younger boy along on a musical adventure, singing and dancing across the hearts and dreams of thousands of people in his signature laidback style of red hoodie and jeans. He'll whip up the frenzy to nearly unbearable decibels when he smooths into "Icky Vicky", and then he'll happily and very charmingly introduce the first act of the main lineup.

The Main Lineup

1. Powerline

To this DAY! I plead with Disney for a real, live Powerline show. They'll happily rehash old movies in a live action format despite nobody asking, but I can't get one night of a reunion show from this absolute powerhouse (ha)? The man whose pipes completed a dream for a couple of cute kids, and whose backup singers were legends in my eyes once upon a time . . . for Powerline? I'd cross a canyon. Not sure I could afford the merch though. To hear "Eye to Eye" belted out by this man, and the Electric Woman behind him just carrying it through . . . !

2. Josie and the Pussycats

Sassy, funny, and always ready to have some fun this trio of girl power is absolutely . . . perfect. It was a little before my time, but before Cartoon Network created a separate channel to house their classic cartoons (Boomerang), the Pussycats and a number of other great shows were available for me to watch and enjoy the old-school hijinks. Thank God for the movie that came out later though, and gave that band a greater setlist to choose from. Still can't believe Rosario Dawson was in that movie . . . and yes, I am very well aware that I admit to loving the reboot's music and yet use the original girl's picture-- I prefer the 70's aesthetic alright? Sue me!

3. The Rivera Familia

The astounding duo Hector y Miguel, with guest star Imelda when they can sweet talk her into performing "La Llorona" (which honestly isn't too often, despite how she loves it)! The Rivera great-great-grandfather and great-great-grandson were the sweetest, and most energetic act during their brief, one night only performance at the Plaza de la Cruz and I wanted more from them. I want a reprise of their free wheeling "Poco Loco", a tender rendition of "Remember Me" (that was so much better than the stupidly overdone rendition Ernesto the Forgotten was pushing), and some more original hits from Miguelito in his snazzy crimson suit. Let us hear your grito Miguelo!

4. Full Moon

Now there are a ton of bands hailing from the anime universe as I'm sure some of you may know and yet . . . out of all of them, I really need to see Full Moon win over thousands of souls with her sweet, pure voice of liquid moonlight. More specifically, I need to sway in time with thousands of others as tears slowly drip down my face while hearing "Eternal Snow" cast a spell over all who hear it. I'm still in shock that a song that amazing came from that show. It's getting played to this day, what must be . . . nine years after I first discovered it. Mitsuki may have had to cut her career short (as far as we know) in order to keep her health, but I maintain the dream that she was eventually able to strengthen her voice just enough to make a comeback as Full Moon a few years later. How fun it would be to see her show, and maybe catch a mysterious glimpse of winged plushies . . . ?!

5. Wyld Stallyns

The last act of the night . . . the original, musical timeline saviors. The Great Ones. The ones to not only save the world, but the universe as it was known then . . . and perhaps as it is known now. If there was ever a time we needed Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan, it sure as hell is now. To be honest I only know one song that they've done, what I think is the only song they actually played, and yet I still pledge to "be excellent to each other and party on, dudes" with all seriousness like it's an oath. I don't even care! Just let me see Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves being the most excellent himbos from the West Coast, and that's that! Let me see the princesses being the backbone of that band! And Station! I demand Station!

I imagine that the curtain will fall after that final, explosive act . . . the two best friends urging all the acts to come back to enjoy one last bow to the audience. I imagine that though the doors will be open for everyone to leave, at least ten minutes will pass before anyone actually makes the move; the stars of our dreams would holler goodbyes and lovely little encouragements, urging us to keep believing and loving . . . people wouldn't just walk out, they'd float out in a dreamy haze as stars burst in their eyes. There would be this palpable energy in the air like lightning, hairs lifted as goosebumps rise on every surface visible. Groups of people would form as they chattered about their favorite parts, and oh yeah that was their favorite too, oh and we can't forget about . . . !

I think while traffic started to grow, with cars and busses trying to get out, windows would be down as people blasted the best hits from the concert. There would be bodies hanging half out of windows as they shouted goodbyes and contact information to friends they'd made at the concert that they would never let go again. There would be shouts and laughter and breathless rehashed moments when the adrenaline started to simmer down. There would be this quiet moment, just a breath, where you knew that what you saw tonight would never be forgotten. This memory, unlike so many others, would not dull or fade or be addled by the ravages of time. This moment . . . this night, was timeless. It was extraordinary. It was life changing.

And maybe it'll never be real, but . . . It sure was nice to dream about though. Nice to have things to be excited about, even if only briefly. A little game of pretend never hurt anyone did it? Especially not when it's something so wonderful, and so free.

Party on, dudes.