The Tale of Grand Theft Parsons

A Brief Introduction

These are my own observations on the story behind the excellent offbeat film “Grand Theft Parsons” by David Caffrey and Jeremy Drysdale which was released to the world in 2003. I found the film both touching and funny and we will start with a little background to this story.

A Bit About Gram Parsons

Born Ingram Cecil Connor III in 1946 Parson played solo and with The International Submarine Band, The Byrds and The Flying Burrito Brothers playing what he called "Cosmic American Music", a hybrid of country, rhythm and blues, soul, folk, and rock. I have “GP” and “Grievous Angel” and they are both wonderful albums, though my favourite song of his is “Juanita” which he first played with the Flying Burrito Brothers written with Chris Hillman and released on “The Gilded Palace of Sin”

The Pact

Gram Parsons and his road manager, Phil Kaufman, made a pact in life that whoever died first would be cremated by the other in what was then the Joshua Tree National Monument, an area of desert they both loved and cherished. When Gram died of a drug overdose in 1973 Kaufman took it upon himself to fulfil his part of the pact he and Gram had entered into. Gram Parsons was 26 at the time, he didn’t even make the 27 club.

The Story and The Film of Grand Theft Parsons

When Parson’s overdosed Kaufman mobilised himself and various conspirators to fulfil his part of the pact.

He needed to steal Parson’s body by bribing mortuary personnel, then rented a hearse from Larry Osterberg over the phone. When he picked it up it was painted in psychedelic designs, not ideal if you want not to be noticed in your body snatching activities. Remember this is a true story!!

Kaufman ran across the southern Californian desert but was pursued by Parsons’ ex-girlfriend Barbara (think) and Gram Parsons’ stepfather Stanley.

The situations cause some black comedic episodes where everyone is doing what they think they should do with results that should not be happening in this sort of situation.

Kaufman is honouring his pact with Gram Parsons, his girlfriend said he had promised her everything when he died, and his stepfather was seeing his stepson's body being stolen to be incinerated in the southern Californian desert.

There are lots of funny moments like the hearse crashing into the fully open aircraft hangar door, and lots of incidents with the law which provide humour against the backdrop of what is actually happening.

What They Thought of Grand Theft Parsons at the time

Reviews were mixed, some saying it missed the point, but others, like me saw the humour and sympathised with what Kaufman did. I would have done the same if I had made such a pact however illegal it might have been.

Sometimes rules have to be bent a little or even broken.

Concluding Grand Theft Parsons

The text below is from this excellent article in Rolling Stone magazine which, if you have enjoyed this article you may want to investigate as well.

“It was done by people who really loved him . . . .

They had this old hearse and they thought they’d wear suits and pretend to be hearse drivers, but that didn’t work, so they decided to be off-duty hearse drivers, and they made up this story about how they didn’t really want to go get this body when they had a girl all ready someplace to fuck them out of their minds; so they played that out to the guy –’Come on, we gotta get to this girl, we’re working overtime, let’s get out of here’ – like that, so they signed a name, ‘Jeremy Nobody,’ to the slip and took the body off.

It was Gram’s request, just something he had told them not too long before he died –’If I go, I want to be in Joshua Tree and I want my ashes scattered here’ – that sort of thing”

RIP the brilliant Gram Parsons.