The Happiest Unhappy Day

For some, the happiest unhappy day of the year comes around the same day every year, Valentines' Day. For some, the typical over-played-love-sick-songs are perfect on a day advertised for love. Some are destined for greatness and love. Some not so much. For some love is a profusion of open space. For some, a narrow tightrope in need of careful navigation. Some are just looking for some ‘R-E-S-P-E-C-T’ as told by Aretha Franklin.

For those stuck in-between loved and unloved, a great song for those to consider is, ‘Two out of Three Ain’t Bad’ by Meat Loaf. Mr. Loaf’s song lays it out for the in-between people. “I want you, I need you, But-there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you!” Ouch, but brutally honest. Followed by ‘(Can’t Live Without Your) Love and Affection’ by Nelson. Twins Mr. Matthew Nelson and Mr. Gunnar Nelson layout the what-ifs and the why-not-me in this song. However, we know why-not-me because you’re stuck in-between loved and unloved.

Some tell themselves they’re alone because they choose to be, right tell us another one, denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, my friend! These individuals find themselves sitting in the dark, listening to old records, wishing for what might have been while singing ‘I Want to Know What Love Is’ by Foreigner. Reminiscing with memories as you clutch your “Help!” album listening to ‘Yesterday’ by The Beatles. Followed by a dose of ‘Crying’ by Roy Orbison, ‘Everybody Hurts’ by R.E.M., and ‘More Than A Memory’ by Garth Brooks.

For some, Valentines’ Day doesn’t bring out the happy-happy love it was conceived to do but is truly seen for the heart-shaped chocolates, dozens of roses (cue the song ‘Roses’ by Outkast), trinkets of jewelry, and the semi-special lingerie, of exaggerated price gouging, meant to express one’s love by over-spending for what it is. Ah, yes, commercialism at its best!

Some go it alone on Valentines’ Day due to a dreadful experience they had once referred to as “true love”. For those poor souls, the Anti-Valentines’ Day playlist has been dictated and chosen by their emotions providing a slight feeling of relief to a fractured heart, an internal loathing for those who have discovered love and celebrate the over-priced commercialized holiday.

The attitude shift sets the tone of music starting with ‘Love Stinks’ by the J. Giles Band (or the cover by Adam Sandler, whichever version zests you up), followed by ‘Love Hurts’ by Nazareth, and wrapped up with ‘Love Bites’ by Def Leppard. Round one completed. The true impression of what Valentines’ Day implies starts to creep out as the playlist continues to match the attitude. Time to get serious with your inner feelings by playing ‘Poison’ by Alice Cooper, a cover of ‘Tainted Love’ by Marilyn Manson, with a touch of ‘I Hate Myself for Loving You’ By Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, and just for good measure, topped off with ‘Blues for a Dog’ by B.B. King.

The frown turns upside down, you analyze your song choices, and you start to do two things that do not go well together, thinking and drinking (cue ‘Call Me When You’re Sober’ by Evanescence). You’re wondering if things do happen for a reason because somehow, someway, the song ‘Unanswered Prayers’ by Garth Brooks was slipped into the Anti-Valentines’ Day playlist. Whoa…whoa…back up the playlist pony here, what in the world just happened? Sorry Mr. B but that song is for another time, a different mood. A quick skip to ‘Cold Like That’ by Garth Brooks and you’re back on track...good, good, that means progress.

An Anti-Valentines’ Day playlist isn’t complete without the occasional break-up song to remind us what it feels like to be deceived appropriately described in songs such as ‘Cry Me a River’ by Justin Timberlake, ‘Goodbye to Romance’ by Ozzy Osbourne, actually you can’t go wrong with anything by Mr. Osbourne, no matter what you're feeling, ‘Sad Songs and Waltzes’ by Willie Nelson, and of course ‘Hurts To Be Alone’ by Norah Jones.

The feeling of complete loneliness explained beautifully in song and lyric on your playlist starting with ‘Without You’ by Harry Nilsson, ‘Lonesome Town’ by Rick Nelson, ‘I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry’ by Hank Williams, ‘Lonely’ by Justin Bieber & Benny Blanco, and the ultimate if you’re alone and you know it play this song, ‘Alone Again (Naturally)’ by Gilbert O’Sullivan, leaves you enquiring how Mr. O’Sullivan knew how you felt, and cue the tissues.

Fortunately, the happiest unhappy day, for most, is only one day of the year, once it's passed we once again shift our thoughts to the happy tunes that help us refocus our attention. Music will be there to comfort, share your feelings, and give you that pick-me-up boost. No matter your preference from Classic Rock to Country, Heavy Metal to Gospel, R&B to Rap, Classical to Reggae, and every other genre in-between. The melody resonates even on the happiest unhappy day!

Valentines’ Day can be a lonely time for some, help is available, if you’re struggling with thoughts of suicide or know some who may be, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours at 800-273-8255. Please reach out, help is always just a phone call away.