The "Gifted Kid To Haunted Bitch Pipeline" Playlist

I'm one of those people that have thought about what kind of soundtrack they would have if there life were made into a movie. Even though, so far, the movie would be a box office bomb- I mean, it's a simple life so far if you don't count existential dread and mental upheaval as anything exciting.

But it's been a hell of a journey, if you don't mind my saying so. I've revamped, reworked, tossed out then resurrected that movie soundtrack countless times . . . but I've got a pretty cool list going on thus far. With poignant moments and pivotal memories to back up each song. Wanna listen? You can click this link to listen along!

1. When You Wish Upon A Star - Cliff Edwards

My first songs were Disney songs, and this was the quintessential Disney song. I don't know if any other song was really considered the company's theme song, but I feel like this was the one everyone thought of- after all, Walt Disney wanted to make family's dreams come true, didn't he? I was definitely a Disney toddler . . . I had Aladdin on tape! The Little Mermaid on VHS . . . those early pre-school years were simply and lovely, full of Disney movies and trips to the Miami Seaquarium. Life seemed very straightforward then.

2. Every Time We Touch - Cascada

6th grade, homeroom- a bend in the path taking me further towards who I would become. Middle School was objectively awful, but the music I discovered and listened to was superb during that period of time. Someone had put this song on during a break period, and while we surfed the internet on approved sites, I heard the hyper, cheerful beats of Cascada's most famous song for the first time. Coming from a household that typically listened to either reggae or jazz, this was completely out of the norm for me! And I liked it . . .

3. Bring Me To Life - Evanescence

Back when MTV was really giving the people what they wanted- it gave me this iconic hit with its unforgettable music video. The high rise, the white nightgown, the "Wake me up inside! (SAVE ME!)" I hadn't heard much rock outside of what the radio was playing, and I liked it, but it was never to the point where I knew it was going to become my most ardent, possibly annoying (oh, buddy, just wait until Halloween!), personality trait . . . until this song. I knew I was gonna be a problem with this song-

4. Helena - My Chemical Romance

And I was right! Quickly after playing this song to exhaustion on Youtube, a friend bought this CD for me for my twelfth birthday. Oh, I was besotted . . . the black background, the blood splattered lovers . . . hearing "Helena" through the soft foam headphones of my walkman, the shouts and heavy guitar riffs? It changed me. I became the "Hot-Topic-shopping-hard-rock-headbanging-alt kid" and I did so with gusto! With enthusiasm!

5. Dam Dadi Doo (Nightcore Edition) - Fantasy Project

I thought long and hard about this- what song encapsulates my experience with the internet through the early 2000s . . . that time when Youtube was filled with Anime AMVs, Charlie the Unicorn; playing the chicken game on Cartoon Network's website, or the burrito filling game on Disney. Watching episodes of Inuyasha or Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch, broken up into 3 parts to ostensibly avoid copyright violations(?). I thought about the typical DDR songs that filled all sorts of AMVs, but . . . Nightcore. That shit took me over mind and heart. It was my gateway drug into House, Trance, Euro-House, d u b s t e p. I was obsessed straight through middle school and into the first half of high school, but the blessed day came where I was no longer a slave to the hyper-speed remixes.

6. As Lovers Go - Dashboard Confessional

It would take a few years after hearing this song for the first time in the credits of "Shrek 2", but in high school I faced a . . . rift in my path. A fallacy. Indie Rock. Yikes. I don't know why, but I was suddenly overcome with the desire to fill my Zune (oh forgot about those, huh? Listen we didn't all have money for iPods, check your privilege) with nearly the entire discography of Dashboard Confessional, plus whatever else I was getting from MTV Woodies, the indie rock music channel, etc. Man- Silverchair, Two Door Cinema Club, Coldplay! That lasted a long year, and then one day I put on Dashboard and I was absolutely disgusted. I shot straight into Breaking Benjamin after this, ha!!

7. All Star - Smash Mouth

"some-" dead silence. A weighty silence, filled with dread. "BODY!!" Your front door has been smashed into pieces. Your body is seized by chaos. But you tell yourself you're gonna be a star, baby, a shooting star leaving behind a glittering wake of success and happiness. Maybe you're lying to yourself and you're just going to huddle in a swamp and happily enjoy solitude! Basically this song really captured my college/early twenties experience almost perfectly. Thank you for your contribution to humanity Smash Mouth. And Dreamworks. Both of them! No, not the last two.

8. Fascination Street - The Cure

It is always a momentous occasion when you discover this song for the first time. It's magical. Unforgettable. I don't know if they used five or six guitars in just this one damn song but it's . . . it's beauty brought goosebumps to my flesh, tingles to the top of my head down to every finger and toe.

9. American Horror Story Theme

2017 had a lot going on. I hated my job, I hated my post-college career path (or the lack of it, really), and I hated myself very, very badly. I was desperate for a distraction, a chance to do and just be something else. So when I learned that you could apply to work for Halloween Horror Nights, well . . . you can by anything on those dark nights, can't you? This was the year I became a tour guide at HHN, and it was so impactful because it showed me that I could do something good. I could be better than I was. It was over in a flash, and the miasma sucked me back in quickly after, but . . . this changed me. Or maybe it reminded me. But this is the song I think of, when I think of when Halloween became my favorite holiday ever, forever and ever. So now you might ask, "Well this is the song that made you a spooky bitch right? So the playlist is over now!" A solid observation, friend, and valid- however. There's still more to this story, before we become haunted bitches.

10. Send Me An Angel - Zeromancer

This is the theme song of my tour guide experience. So a slightly different event than just realizing I wanted to be Spooky-Wooky, and honestly just fun! I heard this damn song countless times, sitting in a rest stop for the tour or on the balcony before the opening scaremony, but I just never got tired of it! I listened to it a lot after I finished up the tour season and went back to that job I fucking hated.

11. Psycho - Breaking Benjamin

2018 wasn't much better, but one of the greatest things that I did during this year was finally go to a concert. It was Breaking Benjamin (and Five Finger Death Punch but . . . I didn't care about them), and it was in a town like two hours away. I was so excited because BB is one of my favorite bands EVER, and I'd been playing the shit out of the whole album for- I don't even remember how long, but this song and Torn in Two was my favorite. I'm just putting "Psycho" here because it definitely fits the theme of this playlist better. I still remember the humidity, how it nearly melted the tinted moisturizer I wore, the smell of weed that thickened the lower the sun sank . . . God it was amazing. A couple months after that . . . I did something amazing for Halloween.

12. Humans Are Such Easy Prey - Perturbator

This- this is a pivotal moment in my life. This is where the Trance phase and my love for rock, cultivated and nurtured for over a decade, merges into a new synth-riffing baby. 2018 is the year I discover synthwave. And I Ascend. I'm gorging on this new feast of audio pleasure, embracing the retro wave of the future, basking in the neon lights! This, in combination with my audacious decision to try out for scare actor- and GET IT?!- made this a tie for best HHN year with 31.

13. Dragula - Rob Zombie

For some reason, this was the year I really got Rob Zombie. I was a teenager when I first saw "The Devil's Rejects", "El Superbeasto", but I never really . . . clicked in. But in 2019, with synthwave (and darkwave, slasherwave, etc.) buzzing my blood, I finally got the overindulged blood and gleeful savagery in his greatest hits. I began to love it- I started searching for more of his discography, listening to the whole Hellbilly Deluxe album, learned who the Lords of Salem were, watched 31 (and holy shit do I love that movie) . . .

14. Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

When I tell you I just knew 2020 was going to be my year. Man I had every confidence that I was going to break free of the miserable monotony my life had gotten stuck in, I was gonna have an epic, cinematic quitting scene- I was gonna go to a dozen concerts, a handful of festivals, live like there was no tomorrow. As I drove back home after devouring nearly a pound of fries smothered in all sorts of ingredients in the St. Petersburg Fry Festival, this song was the first one to play and . . . it felt like a sign so strong it had to be mystical. And so that was a lie, but . . . this song gave me strength through a hellish summer and into a hopeful fall.

15. Running In The Night - FM-84

2021 was feeling different. I had a better job (practically heaven compared to the last), some great friends there, and I had a sense that something was building . . . coming just around the corner. I got wildly into astrology, crystals, and new experiences. I was getting back into Disney, thinking about what I really wanted out of life . . . which was a lot more than I was getting. I was just . . . very wistful in 2021.

16. Burn - The Cure

The most notable part of 2021 was my new hyper fixation on "The Crow" (I mean, I'm still super in love with it now), I mean I got that movie and watched it every day for a week straight. I thought about it morning, noon, and night. I pined for it at work. I had dreams about getting the blazing crow tattooed on my arm. I still don't fully understand why that movie gripped me as strongly as it did, other than the fact that it's absolutely perfect. But we may never know!

17. The Summit - Spiritbox

I was looking for a way out and I chose wrong, which, you know . . . that's life. Hella bummer, and it was an active struggle for most of 2022 to remain grounded and purposeful and not just collapse into agonized goo. Moving back in with my parents, looking for a new job, looking for a purpose, it . . . hmm. I can say the rest and return to my old stomping grounds was what I needed (not necessarily what I wanted- at least for the first four months), and after a little patience it ended up being a really great thing for me! Sometimes the venom is the antidote, I suppose.

18. Heroes - The Midnight

God I love The Midnight! And this song is so good . . . it's this great call to self-actualization- the missing hero has always been YOU. Like, man changes have been taken and you've been tossed around and spun about and now it's time to set your feet back on the ground. Remember what you wanted and run for it man, because this stuff ain't promised and it's maybe not even real- not all the luxury Toks and lifestyle blogs, it's not yours- you have to go out and get what's yours!

. . . And with that we're closing out the milestones playlist, all the way from the hopeful innocence of a Disney classic, to the hopeful nostalgia-inducing riffs of a synthwave blast. With plenty of heavy hitters in between. I mean, who says you can only be haunted? I like my haunts with a little nostalgia, a little flare, if you will.

All these layers coming together to make one person, a reconstructed mess though I might be. But I'm having fun, I'm supported, and I . . . really had a blast putting this all together. Can't wait to listen to all the other milestones here. And, hey, if you like this then I have a handful of other playlists I made up for Vocal- you should give them a try! Until next time beautiful people, stay safe and party on!