Sax Intercessor

Dear Jean,

The morning sun glows a beautiful orange and yellow as it rises over the mountains -the wind is still. It is hope and new mercies rising. The peace of the early morning begins to knock at my spirit. I am grateful for the care of a wonderful husband; a man kissed by the sun and whose presence fills a room. Yet. Yet, still. Yet, still there is anxiety and stress. My mind raced all night and it felt ethereal as I watched myself try to sleep; the ledger recounted all the unfinished tasks and all that needs to get done. The looming anxieties filled me during the time where I should have be restoring my temple. It was not a peaceful occurrence, it was tossing and turning and conversations with self in the midst of threshold consciousness. I hear you saying anxiety and faith cannot reside in the same space. Your wisdom from life lessons are appreciated: I am grateful for your teaching and your guidance.

You are right about anxiety. Too many projects, trying to thrive in spite of the pandemic and “multitasking” causes stress and worry. I, like most people pretend we can multitask and it is proven that multitasking is a myth. Attention is paid to one thing at a time, in the moments we think we are multitasking something drops, something is missed and we are proven wrong. The more stress we encounter, the less mindful we become. As we work from home, have been labeled essential workers, have extra steps in our day just to keep us alive-wear a mask, wear two masks, wash your hands, stay 6-ft apart, do not gather in groups, no hugging allowed, we have anxiety. I would think physics and faith also prove that anxiety and fear are mutually. Although, we may be able to shift between. I also hear “Dee, take care of yourself”. Self-care is positioned as a luxury; in reality it is a necessity.

Music is part of the self-care. As the music guides me to a better mental space, I remember you telling me that you wanted me to know more than just the mainstream music. You bought for me a Beethovan album (those vinyl things way before Ipods, and streaming music channels), and said I needed to listen to him Brahms and Bach. Now, I can say, “Alexa, play classical music”. Alexa takes me through a mirage of beautiful soothing sounds. She plays Beethovan’s Fifth and it takes me back to the dance recitals when I was younger, it was a time I thought I would be a ballerina. I realize I find Bach’s piano soothing: https://music.amazon.com/albums/B00LB8OZO2?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US

I always wished I was more musically inclined even as I child sitting at the organ in McAlmont, AR finding the rhythms, sometimes. The sounds were a mixture of banging and measured notes. I wish I could play the piano, the organ or even the saxophone. The sounds of classical music, and especially the saxophone, transcend negative energy and the stressors of this pandemic. There are songs I remember from Kenny G, George Benson and Charlie Parker. Do you remember this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DL8SGEyhZE . It was a television theme song, yes-Taxi.

The journey of classical music helped me discover Chopin: YouTube has an entire channel! It is good to sit and breathe, breathing quality deliberate breathes to soothe the soul and ease the mind. Sometimes, when I know I have to get things done, I will work and let it play in the background. I am sure it has diverted an angry email or two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1dbbrfekAM

Classical music has evolved and I enjoy Black Violin two of your beautiful brown men that make the classics talk. There is also Damien Escobar, Jean, my goodness. This is a little more upbeat but, it is not to be ignored https://www.pandora.com/artist/dsharp/covered-in-d/arms-around-you/TRJKrVz2qqtJkXZ

It, self-care, music is not a luxury. To be in a place of peace, paz, Hetep, mir, Amani, you need some gospel instrumentals like “When You Pray” by Quiet Time Players https://www.pandora.com/artist/quiet-time-players/sunday-morning-jam/when-you-pray/TR7rpq3kl29b9j9 Making our requests known to God though our prayers, our utterances and yes, through song, is soothing. This saxophone is my prayer intercessor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1xe7FDsQWY Psalm, the fourth part of Coltrane's A Love Supreme.

Jean, I saw someone describe this pandemic, and the poor response and misinformation by the white house, as a dumpster fire. It has killed so many people and left others shells of themselves. In the midst, we have inconveniences but, I won’t complain. https://www.pandora.com/artist/smooth-jazz-all-stars/gospel-jazz-brunch-2011/thank-you-i-wont-complain/TRPqrckpmj5mw9w “Thank You” (I Won’t Complain) on the Gospel Jazz Allstars is a soothing reminder to operate from a place of gratitude. It is ok to lament and acknowledge all that we go through but complaining won’t help. There are so many songs and I am grateful for the talents of artists who heal through music. In the turmoil of the world, personal trials, sickness and death, I find my zen place in classical, jazz, and of course gospel. Sometimes, Zen can be a crying out.

There are pleas and cries in songs that help us break through the pain to get to the Zen and a shifting of energy: “Let Your Power Fall” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsNtsir_NKQ, and not matter what I am favored https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu9j_n0gihE, and then, you have to get some of the stuff out and Leandria does it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3SeaKTbrmc There are some unexpected, not as well -known artists who encourage us in the midst of trials to hold on. There is Charmelle Cofield who sings “Trouble” and the song says “hold on” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNc3tfaBU6s and Valerie Broussard’s “Hold On To Me” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suc7ac3zhms. With all that I have been through, I hear you through the music "hold on".