Beautiful. Loved. Blessed.

Dear Jean,

There are people all over the world writing about their Zen playlists. As I develop mine, I see that I am different. Zen is not the same to me as it is to others. I understand at its core definition it is meditation and being at peace. However, peace is not peace when the mind and the body are in turmoil. To be in a place that is balanced and free of angst takes different types of music for different types of minds, and situations.

My first offering to the list is “The Plan”; it gives the traditional sounds of Zen expectation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHmc-Dodd_E; it is centering. "The Plan" helps me to become still and look within: there are emotions that need to be explored. It is a good foundational song to begin our journey through and to Zen. One of my Reverend/Therapist friends said that emotion is energy and if you do not do something with it, the dis-ease can manifest into disease. That energy needs to come out somehow.

Energy from death and sadness, loss and disappointment swells inside of me. In the past, I would turn on a great song and cry out the pain. It was therapeutic; a part of the journey. Interestingly enough, I have not truly cried over the most agonizing pain in my life. As I sit in my thoughts and wonder, I thought about that song that would make me release. Prince-“Sometimes It Snows In April” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikZgBhSMSUM makes me think about how we have to take a journey through some of our stuff to get to peace.

Zen moments don’t just happen and they are not always chanting and church bells. They can be curated in songs that are raw and emotional. For another world talented artist, you can turn to their body of work. One supremely gifted artist. Prince. I would play “Nothing Compares 2 U” (also done by Sinead O’Connor and written by Prince) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpGA0azFdCs for music to touch and heal my soul. The guitar can speak to you in a way that no other instruments do-it has a wail of its own and your spirit shakes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvnYmWpD_T8. The Zen place happens when someone’s love is your world it transcends “Diamonds & Pearls” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwUKR_9Xdns and in his “The Arms of Orion” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lFa75IUfuc and, then together we love through all space and time. Because of you, I see a lesson in everything. Prince does a collaboration with Tom Petty, Steve Winwood and others reminding me no matter how great I am, collaborations are key https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SFNW5F8K9Y&t=13s. Sometimes to get to a Zen place, we may need to be in a supportive space. If this was a sermon, that would preach! In this grief journey, I am realizing I cannot heal myself and am protecting my peace and choosing my collaborators wisely.

You encouraged me to pursue my education, go explore what God had in store for me and have a life worth living. You embraced my husband as your own son and I truly “Adore” him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdUzgOJBBHc. Wait, was that TMI? LOL. Yes, I hear you.

Ok, let’s switch it up a bit. There is a cautionary tale about Thieves in the Temple https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfLwHYPlqKc that takes me away from my inward focus-for just a moment. The versatility the blues of “Truth” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcOEd72IxeM and the guitar on “What’s My Name” as Prince is being Prince. It reminds me of all the blues albums that I would hear Papa playing as grandmother cooked and baked. It brings back the smells and the feeling of being in the South. Blues and gospel are the foundations of my appreciation of music.

This one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HblSBDUC_Us reminds us to be empowered. Whatever is going on in the world, in our lives, we need to remember our name. This sounds like something you would tell me.

Thank you for loving me, giving me agency and reminding me always that I am “Beautiful, Loved and Blessed.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4uumAwT04s

Love you,

D