Music, lol one of the many loves of my life. I met music at a time of my life when my youth was running wild, and free, A time where finding yourself was an emotional and trying task, which needed special pampering and care. It was when I was in my teens that I was in my darkest state, that music became the medicine for my soul. I remember cool summer nights, grabbing my mom's cassette player, digging through her box of cassette tapes for an artist who connected with me at that moment. I remember grabbing Seal, listening to "A kiss from a rose on the grave" after a heartbreak, with a crush as tears streamed down my cheeks showing the pain I felt. The way the music resonated with my heart and soul as if it was speaking to me. I daydream about being with the Artist as he sang his heart out to me trying to fix what was broken. At this time I was deeply into music, I had a voice for it and loved to sing as if was center stage with the whole world watching. I would sing "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence, as though I was trying to conjure up this the part of me that was hidden so deep from the world, for fear of being misunderstood. music was the drive in my life, it brought me great peace, and surrender. I felt understood when I would listen to the lyrics of Sade, "Soldier of Love", as it was my nature to be so loving, despite the circumstances I faced in my life. It was the way the music spoke to me, I could hear every beat, every drum, every instrument as though they had individual stories and when brought together told of a masterpiece of love, heartache, grace, and peace, creating waves of serenity that could take you to a world away from this one in which I lived. I remember when tough times took a toll and family fallouts began. I'd retreat to my room, lay on my bed, and stare into space trying to understand, wanting to scream out to everyone about why this family was so messed up but, holding my voice for fear of not knowing where to start, or making it worse. Then I would grab my headset, close my eyes and listen to Pink "family portrait" as her words filled my ears and spoke for me as I belted the lyrics out loud without realizing the whole house, maybe even the neighborhood could hear me. In time those moments where I felt joy, like when my family was together, or Hanging beside the pool with my friends late nights jamming to Linkin Park, Gwen Stafani, Black Eye Peas, which was one of my favorite groups who brought life to the night, talking about our preschool days, and what we would do or who'd we be in the future. Calming things down with some Reggae, which I loved, looking into the stars and talking about the Aliens with laughter and debates that followed lol, with the smell of chlorine scented pool water floating through the night breezes, as the wind pushes the trees, causing them to sway, tired but never wanting to leave that moment in time. (sighs) sorry guys nostalgia is kicking in as I sit here reminiscent of what made my youth so beautiful and memorable despite the struggles, and hard times. Remembering how my favorite song by Evanescence "My Immortal brought me, my first real true friend, cause kids who looked like me, couldn't understand my taste in music. How music brought the family together when I'd be the DJ lol it makes me smile. It's almost as if life is like different genre's of music, and with the right song or playlist, you can make people laugh, cry, bring joy and people together, fall in love, speak to someone's soul if you wanted but couldn't find the right words to say. I was never really good at sticking to one playlist because there many options and access to beautiful music in the world. I'd always find something different or new. No matter what I was going through, what I was facing, music helped me escape, help me feel more alive, feel as if I could take on the world. my playlist was the boyfriend that loved me, the mother who understood me, the friend who made me smile and laugh, it gave me a voice when I didn't think I had one, healed my heart and soul when I had given up. I don't know if you all will understand how I feel but, Music transcended my soul.
About the Creator
kiesha
I'm a mom of two girls, there's so much more to me that meets the eye. I'm and Artist, musician, scholar, and so much more. I have so many plans for my future , music, engineering and design own my own company and more. follow your dreams.
The quiet little girl
When I was just a little girl, 12 yrs old, filled with wonder, braids in my hair that trailed down my bad, eyes wide open, strong enough to challenge the world, so I felt, Id wander off alone in my neighborhood, in a daydream like state of mind, believing I was the star of my movie. I had such a creative mind, in that world, I was a lone wolf, an adventurer, the hero, lol anyone I wanted to be. I lived in a broken neighborhood, where the foundations were built off survival, and tough love, but a love that made you feel like you were a part of a community nonetheless. The aromas of soul food and barbeques still leave a sense of nostalgia when I smell them today. the laughter of adults whom sat outside, filling their lives with small talks and entertainment as the kids played in the streets, racing feet patting against the pavement. the sound of police sirens and helicopters, that remind us why we stick together, and also of the deep brokenness no one was prepared within our community to speak of. As I ventured through this place we called home, through people that called me family, id wave and smile, but my voice was always quiet. I always held my voice, maybe I was too shy, or maybe I was afraid that the many thoughts I had in my head would come flowing out like the sea when it rushes in after a high tide. in my little body, I had so much emotion, so many thoughts, so much energy, and secretly lied a strength and braveness nobody knew. I continued thru the hello's and laughter, till id meet the gate of the community, and step out into what I called another world. I walked until I reach this wooded area of our neighborhood, that had trails and proceed through, I had a favorite little spot where id sit, where a tree had begun to slump over as if it was tired from always remaining strong. I'd lay across this tree smell the cedar and the mixture of freshly cut grass, noticing the caterpillars and birds and other life in these woods, mesmerized by the light casting through the trees, it always felt like I was in another world when I was there. despite the nearby streets, and people walking by. I learned how to shut out the noise and enjoy the silence, maybe I was good at that because I already knew what it felt like to be silent. I started to drift more into this world, and the peace and less into the other, closing my eyes, pretending I was far away from everything, yet still being so close in reality. I opened my eyes startled but the sound of my name being called. my stepdad had been looking for me, I arose silently, inhaled a deep breath of fresh air realizing I was leaving back to reality. I arrived home to the stern Voice of my mothers telling me about going off on my own, and the heavy worry in her voice with the hint of frustration and confusion, for always having to remind me, I stood there silent, wanted to scream my feelings, but not being able too, I felt so misunderstood, my eyes moving side to side as tears filled my eyes, and she continues to scold me till there was nothing left to say, she looked at me, possibly frustrated by my silence, she disliked that I was so quiet, she walked away and I retreated to my room, the only other place where I could be alone with my thoughts, I had some much I wanted to say yet I just couldn't find my voice, more tears came down my cheek, why was I like this, nonmatter the confrontation, or situation, I was just so quiet and reserved. how can someone be so fierce, brave, and not have a voice? I hated it sometimes, I felt prisoner to my mind, as I've watched other kids speak, and were popular and respected because of their outspokenness, whereas I was silent and always challenged. I saw it as their strength but my weakness, at least that's what I thought, I craved for a voice, like them, like my mother who never bit her tongue, maybe that's why I escaped from everyone so much because I was surrounded by people who had a voice while mine was imprisoned in my mind, in in the places I went there was only peace, and there I didn't have to have a voice, but amongst the community most did, and so to them I became known as the quiet girl. To Be Continued...
By kiesha3 years ago in Confessions
Music Prompt? Music Thingy!
At work a few weeks ago, I was using that Spotify DJ thing, the AI tool that slightly bugs me on principle, but not enough for me to boycott it. (You know the one?) Anyway, I was jamming out to songs I was familiar with, a few new ones, and then all of a sudden, I was stopped in my tracks.
By Mackenzie Davis9 days ago in Beat
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