kiesha
Bio
I'm a mom of two girls, there's so much more to me that meets the eye. I'm and Artist, musician, scholar, and so much more. I have so many plans for my future , music, engineering and design own my own company and more. follow your dreams.
Stories (7/0)
The quiet little girl
When I was just a little girl, 12 yrs old, filled with wonder, braids in my hair that trailed down my bad, eyes wide open, strong enough to challenge the world, so I felt, Id wander off alone in my neighborhood, in a daydream like state of mind, believing I was the star of my movie. I had such a creative mind, in that world, I was a lone wolf, an adventurer, the hero, lol anyone I wanted to be. I lived in a broken neighborhood, where the foundations were built off survival, and tough love, but a love that made you feel like you were a part of a community nonetheless. The aromas of soul food and barbeques still leave a sense of nostalgia when I smell them today. the laughter of adults whom sat outside, filling their lives with small talks and entertainment as the kids played in the streets, racing feet patting against the pavement. the sound of police sirens and helicopters, that remind us why we stick together, and also of the deep brokenness no one was prepared within our community to speak of. As I ventured through this place we called home, through people that called me family, id wave and smile, but my voice was always quiet. I always held my voice, maybe I was too shy, or maybe I was afraid that the many thoughts I had in my head would come flowing out like the sea when it rushes in after a high tide. in my little body, I had so much emotion, so many thoughts, so much energy, and secretly lied a strength and braveness nobody knew. I continued thru the hello's and laughter, till id meet the gate of the community, and step out into what I called another world. I walked until I reach this wooded area of our neighborhood, that had trails and proceed through, I had a favorite little spot where id sit, where a tree had begun to slump over as if it was tired from always remaining strong. I'd lay across this tree smell the cedar and the mixture of freshly cut grass, noticing the caterpillars and birds and other life in these woods, mesmerized by the light casting through the trees, it always felt like I was in another world when I was there. despite the nearby streets, and people walking by. I learned how to shut out the noise and enjoy the silence, maybe I was good at that because I already knew what it felt like to be silent. I started to drift more into this world, and the peace and less into the other, closing my eyes, pretending I was far away from everything, yet still being so close in reality. I opened my eyes startled but the sound of my name being called. my stepdad had been looking for me, I arose silently, inhaled a deep breath of fresh air realizing I was leaving back to reality. I arrived home to the stern Voice of my mothers telling me about going off on my own, and the heavy worry in her voice with the hint of frustration and confusion, for always having to remind me, I stood there silent, wanted to scream my feelings, but not being able too, I felt so misunderstood, my eyes moving side to side as tears filled my eyes, and she continues to scold me till there was nothing left to say, she looked at me, possibly frustrated by my silence, she disliked that I was so quiet, she walked away and I retreated to my room, the only other place where I could be alone with my thoughts, I had some much I wanted to say yet I just couldn't find my voice, more tears came down my cheek, why was I like this, nonmatter the confrontation, or situation, I was just so quiet and reserved. how can someone be so fierce, brave, and not have a voice? I hated it sometimes, I felt prisoner to my mind, as I've watched other kids speak, and were popular and respected because of their outspokenness, whereas I was silent and always challenged. I saw it as their strength but my weakness, at least that's what I thought, I craved for a voice, like them, like my mother who never bit her tongue, maybe that's why I escaped from everyone so much because I was surrounded by people who had a voice while mine was imprisoned in my mind, in in the places I went there was only peace, and there I didn't have to have a voice, but amongst the community most did, and so to them I became known as the quiet girl. To Be Continued...
By kiesha3 years ago in Confessions
Battle between ME and MY Alter Ego.
She came one day to me in disguise, then open her self up to anyone who'd listen. She show 'd her self to me cause I would, what I seen amazed me, yet puzzled me, are you me? I asked!!, lost in a pool of confusion? no she spoke, I'm the one within you asking to come out!. Within me?! am I not whom I say I am? No she spoke, we are as one, but I'm the side you never show because, Because your afraid of rejection. No! I responded in a state of confusion, there's only one me, no she says there's two of you, I'm your alter ego the you you've hidden! In a state of shock , I'm stuck, trying to figure out , what I'm hearing and if its true why am I hiding my true identity, what shame am I afraid of bringing. It's then I start to understand, if I'm the shy side, timid , and closed within, then she my, daring, brave, fearless side. Try me she says , you'll never want to leave, her voice smooth as silk a bit hypnotic. Why cant I be both, I asked? because, the world you live in only accept, those whom take nothing and answers to no one and is not afraid to be brave and bold! now, try me! she demands, wanting to show her self to the world. If I cant have both I wont surrender!" I see, she says , but your so timid, she says with a low chuckle and slight smirk that could pierce the soul, I will manage, I responded with defiance. Its like ying and yang I say, you cant have balance with one or the other, to much of one thing could cause problems. Hmmm said says as She studies me, starring at me with eyes hessonite in color, that made me feel warm but but uneasy, what?, she says, you don't trust yourself , you don't trust me? I trust myself I say" , but is the line between good and bad in you and people, I don't trust, she smirk's. Then you shall have us both. It's then my other spiritual alter ego or should I say the me I've hidden, rise's from me, an i feel like my body is fire and ice all over, merging, bursting energy fills me like a volcano ready to erupt, then I become warm, my heart once racing slowing down. I, I feel more alive then I've ever felt, a tears runs down my cheek, not from sadness, but from feeling whole, she speaks one last time before we fully mesh and the words become my own as she fades and we become one, "you are one within your self who you are is not justified not only by what you do but whom you choose to be", you can balance your alter yourself with the you within, you need not be all the way bad nor all the way good , balance helps you develop understanding in life, you choose , never let the expectation of others shadow your judgment cause you too have to choose from within your self, never let fear keep you from embracing yourself in full. I see, I understand I say, realizing that I've been holding back for so long. So I began to understand and developed a spiritual awareness within myself , my alter ego, or the other part of me hidden within like a prisoner, and they now are as one, and it feels like being reborn. Sometime we hide our true selves from the world, whether out of fear, of judgement, being misunderstood, or maybe we haven't reach deep enough to find ourselves. Never hold back on embrace yourself in full, flaws and all become whom your meant to be become, REBORN!
By kiesha3 years ago in Motivation
