Loser, Loner, Whatever

I don’t know about you, but my last break-up was particularly rough-mainly because the damned fool decided to wage a proxy civil war against our whole country. I mean it’s one thing to be as narcissistic to think he was going to get a second chance? Ha! The man is clearly not firing on all four cylinders. I doubt he ever really was. Now, it’s not that I’m enjoying speaking ill of an ex, but it’s not as if he didn’t have a little bit of this coming back to bite him in the you-know. All I’m sayin’ is, my karmic index is in a much more desirable location compared to this guy (but whose isn’t, am I right?).

Sometimes, it’s hard to let go, especially when you’ve had a helluva grift—I mean term, Mr. T (not to be confused with the master rapper himself Mr. Ice-T, lest we forget)! You want to stick around and try for another four years, and yes, it can be hard making a career change so late in life, but consider this: you’re free now...at least until the Southern District Attornet comes a-knocking and buries you in depositions from here til they read your Last Rites.

It can be so hard to say goodbye, especially when you feel like the ride wasn’t over quite yet. There was so much more money for you to get your grubby little Cheeto-stained fingers on, after all. So many changes, so little time.

You’re in that phase where you’re starting to let go, but you don’t want to lose the laughter, the jokes, and the good times with friends you paid to laugh with you instead of at you, but I warn you: you’ll only be kidding yourself. In fact, there are hundreds if not thousands of people working really hard to make sure you don't come back. If that doesn't scream "Hit the Road Jack", then I don't know what will!

Now that we’ve said our goodbyes to the rotting old flame that was this relationship, it’s time for you to get going. Four years of verbal abuse I should never have accepted. Four years of lying through your teeth to anyone and everyone who will listen to you (which was me, unfortunately). Here’s the thing about the truth, Donnie: there is such a thing as objective reality, as truth. You’re just so caught up in your own bullshit that now you believe it. And that’s dangerous. You seem to live in a world where you get to do whatever you want, like grabbing women’s pussies and attacking national heroes who did more to earn their titles as patriots than you ever have in your entire life. It’s about more than just whining and dining people til they give you what you want. You don’t earn respect that way. But then again, what would I know, I’m just a regular person--not some millionaire who inherited his racist daddy’s Smaug-like hoard of riches.

I'm sure Melania understands how much of a jerk you really are, and maybe someday, when she's *free*, she'll write one of those awesome tell-all books like all the rest of the guys who worked for you, and she'll tell us how much she really worked hard at picking out those Christmas decorations. At least this set turned out NOT to be like something out of The Handmaid's Tale!

I’ve learned my lesson. No more assholes, and no more giving into every little word that comes out the mouth of that gaslighter—I know I won’t get fooled again.