Kpop

I know there is a great divide between people concerning K-pop. A lot of people think it's terrible, not real music, insufferable, and a money-making machine. And some of those people may be right.

But for me it's an essential part of my survival as a sane human being. Say what you will about it, everyone is entitled to their own opinions of course, but it's one of the only things that makes me feel confident and positive about my life. And life in general.

I'm an intellectual and an introvert at that. Most of my time is filled with existential ideals; deep thoughts about the universe, mortality, social injustice, and the future, not to mention ethics and philosophy...

So my mind gets overwhelmed pretty fast. I also over-analyze things which means I compound the above activities by at least double. I used to fall into episodes of depression fairly easily because of overthinking. These bouts of depression could last from weeks to months. A long time ago I was in a very dark place for about two years. Nothing helped, although I was able to hide it, it never left me.

Then I met someone at my place of work and we've been best friends for over twelve years. He introduced me to K-pop. We already had a history of anime and listening to J-pop, J-rock, and visual kei. Over the years I grew to love it. No matter what mood I was in if I listened to some K-pop I would almost instantly cheer up. Sometimes I even danced. I love dancing although I don't do it nearly as much as I should.

In the past couple years I've had an immense confidence boost and I owe it partly to K-pop. It keeps me in a positive head space. It allows me to not only function but function flawlessly. K-pop usually has a positive message about believing in yourself, not worrying about what other people think, doing your own thing, and working toward your dreams. The cute men don't hurt either! It allows me to forget about the outside world long enough to remember who I am and the power I have. It's light, fun, and fantastic. After overthinking about the state of the world for too long K-pop is the cure I need to come back from spiraling. I suppose you could liken it to mind numbing. It lets me focus on what I can change, starting with myself. If I start to worry too much about larger issues I can get daunted easily. If someone is trying to get me down I turn on the K-pop and come back to myself.

Now I use it more as a booster than a crutch. I've developed some impenetrable confidence. It took the greater part of my life and I wonder if I could've done it without K-pop.

I know that the industry is rife with issues. I'm also aware of the way some companies push their idols and how it can cause serious harm. My gratitude for these artists is deep and infinite. The artists go through hell for their dreams and I'm eternally thankful for their sacrifices. Their strength gives me mine. I realize, too, that it is a money making machine. There seems to be infinite merchandise for every group. I don't need all that merch though, just the music.

I'll continue to listen to K-pop as long as they make it. As long as it takes me back to myself and gives me my much needed boosts, I'll listen to it. It makes me feel like nothing can touch me. Nothing can get to me. I'm a boss.

And in case anyone was wondering I love CL, 2NE1, G-Dragon, Vixx, Big Bang, Super Junior, Block B, Blackpink, BTS, GOT7, F(x), and Amber even though she's not really K-pop anymore, but my favorite is EXO.

I'll listen to most K-pop honestly though.