It Was Valentine's Day?

Every year I find myself single (or kind of single) on Valentine's Day. And, every year I vow to make the day a "me-day," all about self-care and loving myself, and every year that's what I do. Except this year, something astonishing happened. The day came, I went about my 24 hours allotted as if it was a regular Sunday, and then at midnight I realized, "holy rip in the space-time continuum! A somewhat single female in her 30's let Valentine's Day come and go without so much as looking into the mirror to give herself a pep talk!" Not a single love note to myself was written. Not a single tear was shed over a man. I didn't purchase flowers for myself. Make a special meal. Nothing.

In my three decades on this planet being hyper aware of this holiday, this Valentine's Day was the first time I didn't "celebrate." Although, technically I did watch Love & Basketball, but I do that on any regular Sunday anyways. Was this subconscious? Most likely, yes. However, I did not in any conscious way press play to commemorate the day, to be honest, this year I was rather oblivious to the day's meaning altogether.

But love is love, and I am not anti-love, but Valentine's Day? Well, I was genuinely concerned for a lot of people's mental health globally leading up to that day. And now the day has come and gone, we have gotten past it but not without the shock of being force fed every aspirational angle of love possible first.

And so we rebel. I simply just let the day go by with a big giant "meh," but as an otherwise single lady I feel it is my duty to provide you with this playlist of "anti-Valentine's Day" tunes.

1. "Look up in the mirror like damn she the one."

Every empowering single lady playlist begins with a Lizzo song (facts). But my playlist begins with Soulmate because you are in fact your own soulmate with certainty and without doubt! You are a spirit living a human experience and you were bestowed into your body for a reason! Love on that person boo!

2. "Feel free right now, go do what you want to do."

MJB said it! Mary J. Blige touches my soul, every time without fail. She uplifts it, and with Just Fine she always gets me on my feet (which is the best single lady medicine)! Every cell in my body dances to the beat and lyrics of this uptempo empowerment track of self-belief and enjoyment (regardless of circumstances or anyone else's actions).

3. "There's something in your heart, and it's in your eyes, it's the fire, inside ya, let it burn!"

The Fire by The Roots is my go-to pump up song for almost anything! Anytime I need to focus, start a new venture, am about to jump into the recording booth, or just need some momentum, I put on this song full blast in my headphones first. It gets my head right and reminds me of who I am!

4. "Let's start by correcting your tone."

ASIA CRUISE! SELFISH! I am 19 years old again when this song comes on, every single time! I am empowered and emboldened after my first breakup with a guy who was the image of selfishness! We've all met that person who just never considers your feelings and you have to eventually break ties with. Put this song on, relive my teenage angst and years of overcoming thinking tumultuous love was real love.

5. "It's not fair, and it's really not okay. It's really not okay, it's really not okay. Oh, you're supposed to care, but all you do is take, yeah all you do is take."

In Not Fair, Lily Allen sings about a relationship where she is *clears throat* not sexually satisfied. We have all been there, for how long we stayed is another question. However, most of us have experienced a selfish lover at some point or another in our lifetimes. This song is a reminder to all the singletons out there that a relationship is not always the better alternative! Sometimes, getting to it yourself yields better results *winks*.

6. "I remember looking at you, underestimating me and to this day I thank God for my return to sanity."

Nothing says "I hate you and I prefer being without you" more than a song called Loved U By Mistake. This track by yours truly, aka Arielle London, was written about a man I wish I had never met. But, like all experiences in life, they shape us to be who we are now! I can't take back ever giving this guy my number, but I can express myself in song about the regret. Creative outlets help me process difficult emotions and sharing the output is a healing experience indeed.

7. "Don't you know I'm walking away, now I"m in my own space, babe you know I ain't waitin' for you."

West Ten by AJ Tracey and Mabel is the perfect breakup song in my opinion. Maybe it's the fact that I chose to end a relationship with someone to this song (however short-lived the breakup may have been). Maybe it's the perfect lyrics in the hook. Maybe it's the picture Mabel paints about the person she decides to walk away from or AJ Tracey's build up in energy for the whole thing. Either way press play and feel the vibes. Whether you are recently single, "situationship" single, or in a relationship where it feels like you're single, this song is for you.

8. "It's time to say goodbye, to turning tables."

Adele was my go-to breakup artist for years. Probably still is when I'm feeling a need for that real deep place in my heart and soul to feel understood. Turning Tables is the epitome of one of my last relationships and happened to come out right around the time we were having serious problems. Adele definitely helped me get through and make sense of a lot of my relationship issues. Thank you Adele!

8. "I'm not your toy!"

La Roux tells it like it is in I'm Not Your Toy. Everything is in the title! La Roux lets the objects of their affection know straight up how it is in this catchy track. The lyrics indicate that La Roux won't be mistreated, doesn't believe the garbage, and won't be regarded within the typical dynamics of a relationship. Caution: dancing may occur in public!

9. "Loving you is like a battle, and we both end up with scars."

Lauryn Hill said what all of our hearts say after a breakup in Ex-Factor. This song is anything but a love song in my humble opinion, this is a disentanglement song. It also can bring immense clarity as to why we ended up with the (insert favorite expletive here) person in the first place.

10. "You're supposed to hold me down, but you're holding me back. And that's the sound, of me not calling you back."

It seems only fitting that an anti-Valentine's Day playlist should both begin and end with Lizzo! The positive powered goddess of the mic blesses us again with some of that good energy in Truth Hurts. The singleton in all of us can relate to the words in this banger!

That's a wrap on my playlist! Feel free to bang your head along, sing out loud and dance like no one's watching while enjoying these tracks. Valentine's Day may be a reminder that you are not with the person that you love this year, but it is by no means a day that defines you! You can do and be whoever you want to be, partnered or not!

Whether or not I am currently attached to another human being will never define who I am. I am myself, at all times, single or not. I can provide myself with an abundance of love, and no one needs a day to make them think the opposite. On behalf of singletons everywhere, I want to congratulate you for not picking the wrong person! If you are single that means that you are choosing yourself in life at the moment, and that is a beautiful thing to be celebrated!

You are enough all on your own!

It has been my privilege to be your DJ for the last 10 songs. This is Arielle London, signing off!