Ambitions As A Writer

"I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world." - Tupac

Tupac sparked my mind. I'm not saying I'm the person he was talking about in that quote, but I'm not saying I'm not either. All I know is that 2pac diagnosed a problem and I unknowingly tried to solve it. I was already a Pac fan and deeply entrenched in his music at the time when I took on my endeavour, so his influence was there. However, it wasn't until the final stretch of my work that I recognized what I had truly done. I had created a response to T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E.

T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. is exactly as it sounds, about street life, but what is street life? What does it mean to be a "thug?" Well, it depends who you ask. And, if you asked 2pac, T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. really stood for The Hate U Give Little Infants F*cks Everyone.

While 2pac may have penned the term in many ways, he made it very clear while he was alive that he was not its creator. In fact, Pac was quoted saying, "I have not brought violence to you. I have not brought T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E to America. I didn't create T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. I diagnosed it.” Tupac saw the issues taking place in the Black community and in his neighborhood and brought that reality to his music. In this manner, 2pac brought his reality to the world. It was that very rawness and ability to tell it how it is without sugar coating the truth that drew me into 2pac as a person. It was just a bonus that his music is crazy dope.

Tupac Amaru Shakur has been a consistent figure in my life since childhood. From before the time I even understood the lyrics or the powerful meaning behind the words, I was a fan. It was Pac's energy, engagement, his sound, his voice... It was everything about his music that appealed to me! But it wasn't until the song Changes came out that I was truly hooked as a Tupac fan for life.

Years later, when my friends died in an avalanche, we sat around on the floor at my close friend Mike's memorial and listened to Thugz Mansion. Tupac was Mike's favorite artist too and so it felt fitting to commemorate his memory with the sound of Tupac's voice sauntering from the speakers.

I became such a 2pac fan that I couldn't even listen to Biggie anymore for a long time. Hit 'Em Up was a staple on my playlist for years, feeling like an anthem for having been betrayed by someone close to you. Arguably, I was a relatively sheltered young woman with worldly views at the time. But, that doesn't mean Hit 'Em Up's energy wasn't on point for what my inner child needed. It was a Tupac anthem, and I was a loyal listener, bumping Hit 'Em Up was almost mandatory.

And then there's the sounds of Ambitionz As A Ridah which is one of the most calming songs I can possibly listen to. Ambitionz As A Ridah is the first track off of All Eyez On Me, arguably my favorite 2pac album of all time (if I had to pick one). I can do anything with this album playing in the background, including writing until the early hours of the morning.

I trust Pac. I trust him in the sense that I trust the intentions behind his music. I can listen to him rap with no fear of being influenced away from my path because he always centers me. Listening to Tupac is kind of a form of meditation for me, his wisdom is always shining through every word.

So, by the time it came to writing my thesis for grad school, obviously I was going to need 2pac in my life, regularly. And so, I upped my doses of 2pac by watching Tupac: Resurrection, a documentary about Pac's life, every so often during research and writing breaks.

I was studying Human Rights at The UCL School of Public Policy in London, England. My specialization was in Children's Rights for my dissertation and I had no idea where I was going with my project just that it had to address certain crucial issues I identified in childhood. With the help of my advisor, program director and then supervisor I was able to hone in on exactly how I was going to present my findings.

The result was that I ended up creating a cross-disciplinary theory for the promotion of children's rights called The Child-Centric Framework.

The Child-Centric Framework, CCF, stipulates that policymakers should place children's rights as a high priority in public policymaking. It is based off of attachment theory and ecological systems theory from psychology and how public policies affect the social conception of the child. Attachment theory describes how your relationship with your primary caregiver is essential for the relationships you create with others throughout the rest of your life. Ecological systems theory looks at how the various systems we exist in shape our interactions with one another. And finally, the sociological research indicated that public policies have a heavy influence on how we define and therefore treat children. I interrelated these concepts to create one theoretical framework concluding that if we prioritize children's rights we can help create securer human beings to fill the future ranks of society. It wasn't enough to come from a moral perspective on why to support children's rights, I had to create a pragmatic approach based on widely agreed upon information. So, that's what I did.

While I was in the final stages of bringing my intricate theory together, I was watching Tupac: Resurrection on a break when it dawned on me: Oh my God, CCF is a response to T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E.

To me, The Hate U Give Little Infants F*cks Everyone refers to the rigged system that exists in America and the byproduct of pain that gets created as a result. It is in the hate that we give our children, through the pain we pass down either directly through violence and words or indirectly through energy, that screws us over as a society. When I reflected on this, and looked at the thousands of words in front of me on my laptop, I knew that this connection to 2pac made the project even more meant to be.

Over the years I have tried to advocate this theory to as many people who will listen, sometimes speaking on it in relation to T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. and sometimes not. Either way, I know deep in my heart and soul that this work was part of my life's work and it was a part of my destiny. Children are our most vulnerable population, and it is truly through their nurturing and care that society can flourish. Pac knew this. I know this. The thing is, I think we both want the world to know this.

Tupac's influence goes beyond just sparking my mind. If you do even just a little bit of digging you'll find out that Tupac has inspired generations in the short time he lived. Pac brought what he saw around him to light and put it on the world stage for all to see. He shared his open heart and brought us all on an emotional journey. Even though 2pac has passed, his music and legacy will always live on.

Rest In Power Pac.