Intersectionality of Music: Listening to Love my Blackness, my Gender, and my Beauty

In Portland, Oregon we are experiencing snow...and this city is not equipped to continue life as we know it in such conditions. As I went on an adventure in the wicked white fluff to get a workout, I couldn’t help but break out a couple of my favorite winter songs. Yes I was listening to Christmas music...don’t judge me! The melodic tones of Pentatonix and Tori Kelly singing Winter Wonderland/Don’t Worry Be Happy filled my ears as I strolled down the street. Making me feel strong and empowered because I did not let the snow stop me.

On the other hand, this snow had me thinking ‘How are people going to get to their bae for Vday? Their oh, so special day will be ruined.’ That’s not something I have to think about anyway, I’m single. Also, Valentine's day has never really been my thing. Even when I was in a relationship it just seemed like society trying to commercialize and monetize love. Maybe I’m prideful or cynical...but no one tells me when to show affection toward someone. I believe that if you care about someone you would show them on any given day, not when society tells you to do something special for them. It’s not really romantic at that point and the flavor of its inauthentic assembly line behavior kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Not trying to sound overly woke or anything but that’s my take on the day.

But enough about that. Instead of using this here fourteenth day of February to celebrate my love and affection for someone else, I am choosing to celebrate me and my dopeness as a beautiful, Black woman.

I created three playlists to empower myself this month (Black History month) for three separate portions of my life that intersect ever so nicely to help me express who I am.

Blackness: Melanin Popping!

I cannot and will not mute my melanin...and I will not allow anyone else to. I am #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackExcellence. My Blackness isn’t a bad thing and it is not a weapon. Just because I am Black doesn’t mean I’m lazy or a criminal. One day I really hope that Blackness will no longer be weaponized. That the bomb that is our skin will be defused in the minds of those who “fear” us. I have not always loved my skin, but as I grew older and wiser I started to love the way it shimmers in the sunlight as if I can see the light refracting through each layer of epithelial cells.

What better way to start this mission of self-celebration than with Say it Loud (I’m Black and I’m Proud) by James Brown. Listening to this song I focused more on the chorus. Like...this is anthem worthy. Chanting over and over “I’m Black and I’m proud.” Knowing who you are and embracing it is the ultimate act of self-love and acceptance. Although I’m better than rooted now, my seeds be deep now. Me rooted in the melanin, India Arie's I Am Not My Hair tells me that by no means is my whole being defined by my Blackness. But it is the first thing that someone can know about me. I choose to revel in it, so I will say it loud...I’m Black and I’m Proud.

I don’t usually rock with Beyonce (not because I think she’s untalented...BeyHive please don't swarm me) but when I heard Brown Skin Girl I knew it was my new jam. If this song can’t get a Black girl/woman to embrace herself I don’t know what would. Just look at the standing and power that Queen Bey has, I respect how she uses it. I mean we are talking about a song lifting up females who belong to a group that has been so marginalized and downtrodden in society. This song reminds us that our skin just like pearls (beautiful, elegant, revered, coveted). The best thing in the world. Never trade you for anybody else. Society portrays Black beauty as subpar and I had to learn that that is not the case. Never trade yourselves in when so many are altering themselves to have the physical characteristics that are seen as less than when on people with more melanin.

Being Black has not always seen from a good vantage point. We are still fighting for our lives, rights, and freedoms that should be freely given. Listening to Billie Holiday sing about our ancestors being hung in trees, becoming Strange Fruit brings about so many emotions. It is important to be reminded of our history, where we’ve come from. But let's be real here, it’s still happening today, maybe not in the same exact manner but it happens. Luckily Sam Cooke gave us a hope that A Change is Gonna Come...oh yes it will. The world has made progress but not at all as swiftly or effectively as we deserve...but This is America (in my Childish Gambino voice). The music video though! It actualizes the past and present of what it is like to be Black. The choir standing on the platform being shot down by a machine gun still haunts me. Hopefully we can continue to shift things and turn things around for the better so that being Black is something that more people can love.

Woman: Girl Power

Although being a woman is not the easiest thing to be in life, most of the time being a woman makes me feel like I hold the world in my hands. Beyonce touched on this theme in Run the World (I think I might have to start listening to her more because her lyrics just give life and empower).

"Help me raise a glass for the college grads” (the support of getting an education….yes I am so here for this!)...You can't hold me. I work my nine to five, better cut my check. This goes out to all the women getting it in, you on your grind. To all the men that respect what I do, please accept my shine. Boy, you know you love it. How we're smart enough to make these millions. Strong enough to bear the children. Then get back to business."

Now that shows extreme strength. Women work while pregnant, take maternity leave, then get back to killing it at work! Basically she is saying we cannot be stopped so don’t come for us….like at all.

While Yonce was still in the group Destiny’s Child with Kelly and Michelle, they gave us a song completely dedicated to women being independent. One line that has always stuck out to me is Try to control me boy you'll get dismissed. Who are you...my father? Naw dude, last time I checked I pay my own bills and no one tells me what I can and cannot do. All I'm asking is for a little respect, because I’m every woman. It’s all in me. Feel my strength, see my power.

But can we talk about Mya? She hit us with cuts like Moving On, Case of the Ex and My Love is Like Woah. But I want to talk about It’s All About Me. I could feel her I cook your dinner, I wash your clothes. Baby hell no that’s not the way it goes. It’s all about me tonight. Although I am single right now, I can relate to this within my platonic relationships. Taking on so much that it is overwhelming and not taking the time to make sure that I’m okay. Sometimes we really do need to just pull ourselves out of situations and have it be all about us. That is exactly what my February fourteenth has allowed me to do, really focus on myself for a change. And can we talk about how she is super empowered in her singleness? Like, she married herself and made a song and music video to announce it to the world. That is so dope and the epitome of women not needing a man and having the power to choose.

But what is even more impressive to me...men in music speaking about how vitally important women are to the very existence of life. Eric Roberson has a song entitled Woman where he literally says Who would we be if they were to disappear. The answer is so clear we would not exist. Nothing makes a man feel better than a woman. He then speaks about how man was created but needed a woman to keep things going. That makes me feel good, knowing that I hold so much power within me. That without women, life could not be created (in the old-fashioned, organic sense).

I remember listening to Tupac’s Keep Ya Head Up as a young girl and never really grasped what he was talking about. But now that I am a woman I have more insight to his verse.

But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up. Forgive but don't forget, girl keep your head up. And when he tells you you ain't nuttin' don't believe him. And if he can't learn to love you, you should leave him. 'Cause sista you don't need him And I ain't tryin' to gas ya up, I just call 'em how I see 'em. You know it makes me unhappy when brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy. And since we all came from a woman. Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women. Why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women. Time to heal our women, be real to our women. And if we don't we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, that make the babies. And since a man can't make one he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one. So will the real men get up. I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up.

I give this all the love because he called men out on how they treat women and told women to understand their worth. Thank you sir for the reminder that we are amazing, that we are worth so much, that we are women phenomenally, phenomenal women that is we (so I tweaked it a little).

Beauty- I Feel Pretty

Starting from a young age girls are plied with images to consume that are the basis for the standard of beauty. The media gets to project the image for us to see. If you are like me, it wasn’t too often you saw someone like you as the image of beauty. But this list of songs drives the idea that you don't need to look a certain way to be beautiful. Embracing your true self is the ultimate way to love who you are. I even wrote a poem on the matter:

What most people fail to realize

Is that being beautiful is not a state of mind

And it's not just having a look that lives up to societal standards

Real beauty comes from within

And seeps outward, through every fiber of your being

When you are truly beautiful everyone can sense it

Because it is an energy radiating from inside of you

And how bright you shine is directly proportional to the size of your heart

As women we need to realize makeup doesn't make us

It may temporarily change how we look on the outside, but it will never conceal what we hold in our hearts

And if your heart does not glow with radiance

All the stuff that is put on just to cover up lets people know that your beauty is artificial

Once you find your real beauty

You will realize

That being beautiful is a lifestyle

Jessie J touches on this idea in the song Queen. She puts forth the narrative that you don’t need to change who you are to be great...to be a Goddess or a Queen. Finding who you are and learning to heal from all of the pain and trauma that you have experienced in your past, is the best course of action to loving yourself. Stop wanting to be like everyone you see on social media posting their lives for all to see. You never know what their lives are really like. Fuck that, it's fake expectation. Not the real shit. This is a constant reminder that I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down. I get to create my image, say who I am and define beauty for myself.

Alessia Cara and Bruno Mars drive the point that we are beautiful/amazing just the way we are. It is a tough concept to grasp but if we start hearing it on a regular basis we will start to feel it. The more you say it, the more life you give it...thus the more true it becomes. I keep songs like this in rotation because they let me know that I am Sculpted by the sculptor” I was “Born this way. Scars to your beautiful puts things into perspective by shedding light on a very heavy topic. But her letting us know that our own form of beauty is enough. Peter Gene makes me want to smile all the time because someone has to think that “it’s so sexy”...even if it is just me who thinks that. I deserve to feel loved by myself.

What a great way to spend a day dedicated to love. Anyone can go out and buy flowers and chocolate to celebrate their special someone. I blasted my playlists while doing a modified, extended version of my usual self-care Sunday routine. It left me feeling empowered...the only person I really need to love me, is me.