If you only had one shot to love -

Have you EVER ... closed your eyes? When you close your eyes, do you ever daydream??? How about closing your eyes while listening to a song that is saying, “Hey you, yes YOU! I have something to tell YOU!?!

Well, I do it frequently. There are many songs that “speak” to me, however, Kip Moore’s lyrics are like positive vibes piercing my soul. Choosing one song that has had such an impact on my life for me to change things is difficult when he has so many deep ones. Without a doubt his song “Last Shot” has been making a statement in my life as of late.

The words remind me of so many personal memories in my lifetime. What the song means to me is to live without the regret of not sharing the energy of love within my soul. If I choose to feel regret when I look upon the past, there is plenty to be had. Regret can sabotage even the most balanced soul.

Too often I find myself regretting sharing my love with others who don’t appreciate me. I will “beat myself up” because I keep giving too much of myself without receiving love in return. But ... isn’t that what love is????? I have been stuck in an UNHEALTHY love cycle for far too long! It all began with the relationship with my biological father.

In the last three months, “Last Shot” by Kip Moore has been instrumental in dislodging this reoccurring cycle. It has opened my eyes to the realization that I am worthy of receiving a much deeper love. My personality has always been to open myself up and let love spill out of me like rays of sunshine. In my adult life, I have allowed this to cloud my sun and hide my internal glow. This song has been therapeutic in getting my shine back.

In the beginning of December 2019, I started heavily listening to country music. I enjoy all sorts of genre so regularly rotate what I listen to but Kip has always been my favorite ... poet. He doesn’t just throw down a bunch of words onto a blank piece of paper. He creates a meaningful story of life - one many of us long to hear.

I needed that song to show me that I was playing small in the game of love. Since a child, I have had extremely low expectations of receiving love. “Last Shot” showed me I have been accepting leftover love scraps. Screw that!!!! I deserve a five star type of love!

When I close my eyes and listen to Kip describing all the ways he envisions loving someone - he paints me a picture of a love I have yet to experience. The line has caused me to draw a much needed line in the sand - a guideline for myself. In the past, I have allowed others to define my line.

This destructive habit of playing small began when I was growing up. The exact moment was when we lived in Clarinda, Iowa on North 16th Street. My brother, Ricki, and I were of course waiting for our father to not show up. A biweekly ritual.

The difference with this particular memory - I learned playing small didn’t just have an effect on me because it broke my mom’s heart but as a child I didn’t grasp it. I would spend two Saturday mornings a month looking out my window being taught the art of disappointment. It wouldn’t be until Sunday at noon that we would hear from my father. Of course wanting her to break the news to us But she always gave that responsibility back to him. Watching me waste my time waiting on love is what would break her heart - it still does to this day

I am 47 years old and it took emmercing my soul with Kip’s song “Ladt Shot” to wake up and stop accepting scraps of love