Happier Than Ever (Billie Eilish): Review.

Happier Than Ever Review : 5 stars (★★★★★)

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“Which is ironic because when I wasn't honest / I was still being ignored / (lying for attention / just to get neglection.) ”

Happier Than Ever hit me like a tonne of bricks.

To hear the lyrics, the diversity of each of the tracks hidden in between minutes and seconds that make up the album. I was surprised about how much I resonated with this album, freely screaming the lyrics “just fucking leave me alone” to no one but my four walls and my three teddies who probably think I’m insane.

It’s this tug of war between the things Billie once enjoyed and the chilling realisation that that’s the only thing occupying her time now on the opening track Getting Older, versus the things she longs for, knowing that she’ll probably get bored of that too.

I have never related to anything more than this song and I think a lot of people can say the same.

“I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I’m just bad at healing,” Feels like something I’ve told myself, my friends or even my therapist once or twice before. Healing in any capacity (whether that’s trauma or something else) is really confusing and difficult and I think this album perfectly represents that with how diverse the genres of songs are.

Oxytocin, a track that feels like it should be buried in red and green flashing lights, dancing over features that are distorted, being played in the middle of a club. Or Halley’s Comet that fuels my jazziest of daydreams, the clunky piano in the instrumental break, that feels like I’m on a train looking out of the window, that turns into the beautiful outro filled to the brim with reverb, that echoes around in my brain.

I Didn’t Change My Number that begins with that dog bark (which admittedly scared the shit out of me when I first heard it) the bouncy drums and the sass in Billie’s voice, that shouts a huge “fuck you” to anyone who has ever done her wrong (& me wrong too).

The kind of song I listen to in my day to day in London, stomping around, feeling like I’m on top of the world. “And your best friend too” that makes me giggle and go “oh my god” under my breath at the audacity this song has. The crazy ending with that stuttering sound that just takes over all of my senses and literally renders me speechless every single time.

GOLDWING that feels like I’ve transcended up to the gates of Heaven, before the drum kicks in and it then feels like I'm tumbling back down to Earth again. "You better keep your head down, down, down, down" that makes me bop my head and jump out of my seat.

Billie's vocals ingrained in the beat, becoming apart of the actual song itself, is something I find so interesting.

The power behind Not My Responsibility, that sends chills down my spine and has me clinging onto every single word she utters. Every single word that I resonated with, feeling the exact same at least once or twice in my life. Being a woman is fucking hard, especially a woman -- a teenager -- under constant inspection in the lime light. Every single thing you do, is up for debate for someone to have an opinion on. Imagine that.

Happier Than Ever is my favourite song on the album. I know a lot of people have said that, but seriously. The soft first half of the song, "When I'm away from you I'm happier than ever." The chilling realisation that actually I feel like that with some of the people in my life, sitting on the edge of my bed with my jaw slack as I realise that I probably shouldn't relate to some of these lyrics as much as I do. The explosive second half, the punchy drums and the guitar that feels like a live wire. The screams embedded in the background of the track, the honesty that is so raw, everything about it is just jaw dropping. So much in fact that when I first heard this track, I genuinely didn't speak to anyone for five minutes after I listened.

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“And it’s all I think about, when I’m behind the wheel / I worry this is how I’m always gonna feel / But nothing lasts / I know the deal.”

Are lyrics that are so poetically heart breaking that I don’t quite know what to do with myself whenever I hear them.

Billie Eilish has a way with imagery that allows you to peak into her life just through the way she describes how she’s feeling. It’s so wonderful and something not many singers have the power to do, but her music makes me feel like I was right there with her in every single one of these situations or as if I was in the studio the day these songs were created.

I think with this album, more than ever, she’s making music to be heard and felt.

At the end of the day, Billie Eilish is just a nineteen year old woman sharing her own experiences and experiences of those around her. You can hear it right down to the breaths in between the lines she sings. It feels as though it’s taking everything out of her, that above anything and everything else, this album for her is an emotional release made into tangible songs that we are allowed access too.

And I have never been more grateful to be let in to something as brilliant as this album.

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