A Bipolar Playlist

.38 Special-Hold on Loosely

When I was young growing up in San Antonio, Texas, my family and I took 3 road trips to Disneyland in California. My dad would be the main driver and he played many random songs on cassette along the way. This is the song I remember most and whenever I hear it, I reminisce about those road trips I miss dearly.

Fleetwood Mac-The Chain

I memorized this entire album but this song stands out the most. My dad would play these songs on repeat when I was growing up but these words about the breakdown of a relationship somehow made sense.

Guns ‘N Roses-Paradise City

Slash is still my favorite guitarist and it’s all because of this song. He is the epitome of coolness and as a young girl, I never enjoyed a hard rock song before this one

Spice Girls-Spice up your life

When I was still exploring music, the Spice Girls wave swept through and Girl Power was all the rage. Females supporting other females made me proud. I still believe in Girl Power.

Backstreet Boys-drowning

I miss the 90’s craze of boy bands and being caught up in youthful hysteria. I’m embarrassed by this slightly but pop music then was awesome because every song was as good as the last.

Korn-Falling Away from me

Korn was the first rock band I heard of that the boys my age were listening to in middle school. I didn’t appreciate them then but I do now. Some songs are definitely better in retrospect.

Linkin Park-Points of Authority

I was listening to harder music as I got older and Linkin Park helped pave the way for that. This song is one of their best even thought it’s a remix. It’s more hard rock than just rock.

Nirvana-You Know You’re Right

I was depressed in high school and Nirvana helped me my junior year. I only had my music and my books and Kurt’s voice guiding me safely to the other side

Cradle of Filth-Nymphetamine

This was the gateway band that got me into metal in high school. It’s poetic but brutal in its savagery.

Otep-Buried Alive

Otep was my favorite band for years. She opened up a whole new world filled with poetry and catharsis. I owe her a lot for helping my senior year of high school.

Flyleaf-I’m so sick

I went through a painful breakup when I was 19 and this song pushed me into recovery. It seems like the end of the world when you’re that young but healing from that trauma was the best revenge.

Light This City-The Unwelcome Savior

Metal music became a defining trait when I was 19. I love this band for their magnetic words and brilliant songs. This song taught me that a story can be told in just a few words.

Rammstein-Mein Teil

I started to explore other ways to put words to paper and learned how to do that in other languages in college. Rammstein proved that just one language isn’t enough to explore your creativity.

Arch Enemy-We Will Rise

My love for female metal vocals came about in the shape of Angela Gossow. She inspired me to explore more extreme metal and find other talented female voices. After I got married and had my son, I still loved this band. Motherhood never changed my musical taste.

Chevelle-Self Destructor

I hadn’t written anything in 2 years by this point. I had hit writer’s block and this song inspired me to break through that barrier. This song encouraged me to get a better job and go back to school. One song changed me completely.

Muse-Won’t Stand Down

I still love metal but I remember my love for simple alternative rock. Muse resurfaced in the last few years and have evolved into one of my favorites again. I don’t know how I ever did without them. Getting older makes you revisit a lot of music.

Jimmy Eat World-Sweetness

This is my favorite song ever. I don’t know why but it makes me feel elevated. It makes me look forward to the future. In this moment in time, I’m not afraid of the future.